


Long Story Short

by mercuryy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, High School, Internalized Homophobia, Issues with Parents, M/M, Marauders, Occasional angst, Remus is Confused, Struggles with Sexuality, Texting, a levels are looming, adding tags as I go, dorcas carries the main gc, everyone is pining, everyone sends kisses cause they’re british, get past the awk first few chapters and i promise there’s a plot lmao, half plot half everyone just talking rubbish, it’s their last year at sixth form, james potter is the Sweetest, lily is a party animal, lots of abbreviations, university stress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:41:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29027373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercuryy/pseuds/mercuryy
Summary: A Levels, eighteenth birthdays, revelations, and lots of vodka — a group of friends begin their final year of high school.[texting fic]
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 64
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> named after queen taylor swift’s song ‘long story short’ (obvs)
> 
> it seemed fitting since the story is being condensed..... into texts...... long story short...... me thinking i’m smart lmao.
> 
> ANYWAY here’s me projecting onto the boys since i too did absolutely no summer work going into year 13. please enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody has done the summer work.

**the plastics**

**Prongs**

Wait guys

What day do we go back

To sixth form

**Wormtail**

I was gonna ask you that

Not today thankfully

**Prongs**

I noticed that Wormy

Still haven’t done chem homework

I’m fucked if it’s due tomorrow

Hello??

**Moony**

Idk

**Prongs**

Not helpful!!

**Wormtail**

Check the school website??

**Prongs**

Idk how to work it

**Padfoot**

Hahaha

**Prongs**

Welcome to the land of the living Pads

I swear I heard you snoring like

Two minutes ago

**Padfoot**

You did indeed

However SOMEONE started spamming the gc

Up now anyways

Make me a cuppa Jamesy?

**Prongs**

Toast?

**Padfoot**

Oh Prongs

You do know

How to make a guy swoon

Love you

**Prongs**

Love you <3

**Wormtail**

Gross

**Padfoot**

Jealous

**Wormtail**

We’re back on Wednesday lads

**Prongs**

Ahhh

Amazing

Thanks Worm

Love you too xxx

**Wormtail**

I guess

The love is mutual x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Padfoo**

JSHDJDKSNSK

**Prong**

You okay?

**Padfoo**

Just wanted to make sure

You don’t put Nutella on my toast

Because I’m very much fancying

Some strawb jam

this fine morn xx

**Prong**

Padfoo

Slap my arse

And call me Professor X

I’ve only not gone and already put strawb jam on!! 

**Padfoo**

Oh Prong

You absolute beaut!

But how the fuck did you know????

**Prong**

Shall I drop my A Levels to pursue the art of clairvoyance

Or better yet

Join the X Men??

**Padfoo**

You’ll be giving the real Professor X

A run for his money

**Prong**

Maybe if I learn

How to control minds like him

I can finally get you

To make your own bloody toast on a morning

**Padfoo**

I don’t think you and Professor X combined

Would be able to mindfuck me

Into such a task

Now get your arse up here

Need toas n cuppa

**Prong**

Two sec

Arse toas n tea on way

**Padfoo**

Thank xx

**Prongs**

Welc xx

* * *

**the plastics**

**Prongs**

Remus

Pete

Come to ours later?? Mum’s making a roast tonight and is feeling generous

**Wormtail**

Sounds good

**Prongs**

Great

Moony??

Reeeemus

Remus

**Moony**

Sorry

Been preoccupied with homework 

**Prongs**

Oh

Well if you need to do that

**Moony**

I would pick your mum’s roast over a history essay any day

Sunday roast on a Monday though

Is Effie doing okay?

**Prongs**

Ha!

Mumma is thriving as per

Just fancied yet another roast

Which I can’t fault her for

**Moony**

Neither can I tbh

**Padfoot**

Oh so you ARE alive Remus

**Moony**

Unfortunately

**Padfoot**

:( don’t say that

**Moony**

I just have so much work that I've left until the last minute

Tell me I’m not the only one?

**Padfoot**

I actually haven’t touched a revision book in 2 weeks

You’ll be alright Moonbeam

**Wormtail**

I’ve done quite a bit of mine

Just geography that I’ve ignored all summer

I hate it

**Padfoot**

This is why no one picks geography

**Wormtail**

Yeah :(

**Prongs**

He’s not even defending his choice anymore

Must be bad

**Wormtail**

It is!

It’s horrible

Wish I’d picked art or something

**Padfoot**

??

Rude

As an art student we wouldn’t accept you

Not with that attitude

**Wormtail**

You literally just paint though

**Padfoot**

I’ll paint a dick on your wall next time I come over then

It’ll be a proper detailed

Veins and all

**Prongs**

Pads

Please

**Padfoot**

I won’t have art slander in the gc

**Prongs**

Wait Sirius come into the kitchen

**Padfoot**

Whyyyyy I’m so comfy

**Prongs**

There’s a parcel for you?

**Padfoot**

Oh!

**Moony**

Care to share?

**Padfoot**

I got some new art stuff for this year

Chalk pastels oil pastels acrylic paint pencils

And more

Minnie said I’m not allowed to steal from the art cupboard anymore so

**Moony**

Told you she’d find out

**Padfoot**

Yeah well

You win some you lose some

**Moony**

How does that apply to this situation at all

**Prongs**

He’s abandoned his phone now to do art

I should get started with chem tbh

**Wormtail**

I should start some geography :/

**Moony**

Yeah I have history to do

**Prongs**

Wow look at us

Such academics

See you both later?

**Moony**

Mhm

**Prongs**

:( could be a bit more enthusiastic

**Moony**

Yes Prongs

My whole life has been leading up to this one night at yours

I am beyond excited

**Prongs**

Better xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Moonyyyy

Get home okay?

**Moons**

I left like five minutes ago

I’m nowhere near my house Pads

**Pads**

Oh

Feels like longer tbh

Anyways

I just wanted to ask if you’re okay

**Moons**

Yeah I’m okay

Why wouldn’t I be?

**Pads**

Idk

You were a bit weird after the film

**Moons**

I think we were all a bit weird after that film Pads

Who’s idea was it to put on the Human Centipede??

My eyes need cleansed

**Pads**

It was rank wasn’t it

**Moons**

Very rank

Only reason I didn’t vom

Was because I couldn’t do that to Effie’s roast 

**Pads**

Ha

It was James who wanted to put it on

Apparently Fabian said it was an interesting watch

**Moons**

Well

Fabian wasn’t wrong

**Pads**

True

But

Back to business

I mean you went a bit quiet

And you kept fiddling with your phone

Two sure signs that something is bothering a Moony

**Moons**

It was nothing really

**Pads**

But…?

**Moons**

Just my dad messaging me

You know

Being a dick

**Pads**

Oh

Sorry Moons

**Moons**

He knows I’ve left all my school work until the last minute

You know how he is

**Pads**

None of his business though is it

It’s not your fault anyway

We dragged you round to ours every day

**Moons**

It’s not your fault either though

I could’ve made sure I had time to do work outside of seeing you all

Doesn’t matter though

**Pads**

Sorry Remus

**Moons**

Why are you apologising

**Pads**

Feel bad

**Moons**

Don’t, okay?

You haven’t done anything wrong

I still had a good night though

**Pads**

Don’t you always

With us

**Moons**

Mhm

If we exclude watching that awful film

**Pads**

Yes let’s just

Completely erase that from our memory

**Moons**

Sounds good

**Pads**

Home now?

**Moons**

Nope

You know where I live Pads

Eons away

**Pads**

Never there though are we

Why is that

**Moons**

Sirius

Unless your house burned down

We’d never spend time at mine over yours and James’s

**Pads**

Why tho

**Moons**

I don’t think we can even fit more than 3 people in my house

**Pads**

You totally can

We’ve all been there haven’t we?

**Moons**

Not all at once

**Pads**

No way

**Moons**

Yeah way

**Pads**

Well

That’s just unacceptable

Sesh at yours soon Mooncakes

**Moons**

Absolutely not

**Pads**

Wait it’s Dorcas’s birthday this week isn’t it ??

**Moons**

I’m sure Dorcas would rather have her 18th anywhere else

**Pads**

Nooo I don’t mean the actual party

Pre’s at yours??

**Moons**

Can’t

Parents

**Pads**

We don’t even know when the party is yet!

Think about it???

**Moons**

Perhaps

**Pads**

!!!

I’ll supply the voddy if you supply the mixers

**Moons**

Mmm

**Pads**

That’s the spirit!! :)

* * *

**Pads**

Hiya Moons

Did you do the lit homework??

I did not

**Moons**

Thought you were keeping up with work this year?

**Pads**

Well the year hasn’t started yet!

I’ve had a busy summer

**Moons**

Oh yeah

Having Effie wait on you hand and foot all summer must’ve been so tiring

**Pads**

:(

You’re just jel

**Moons**

Okay

**Pads**

????

Homework?

Pleasseeeee

ReRe :(

**Moons**

I’ll send you it if you never call me that again

**Pads**

Thank xoxoxo

* * *

**Marx n shit**

**Sirius**

Lilster??

**Lily**

No.

**Sirius**

:(

**Lily**

Don’t tell me James hasn’t done the summer work either

**James**

I started it!

Ten minutes ago

I’m stuck

**Lily**

You’re both useless

**Sirius**

Evans

What was the point of making this gc

If you’re not going to help your peers ???

**Lily**

When have you ever helped me ??

**Sirius**

Can’t you just help out the goodness of your heart ??

Lily

??

**James**

Guess we’re on our own then Pads

**Sirius**

Yet more proof that gingers have no soul

**Lily**

I was getting my notes actually

I’m putting them back

**Sirius**

Nooooo I’m sorry

I love gingers

**James**

It was S who said that!

Not me Evans

I would never

**Sirius**

Prongs you’re such a traitor!

He was def thinking it

**James**

Wasn’t though

**Sirius**

Was though

**Lily**

I’m not helping either of you

And Sirius if you message the art gc

I’m blocking your number

**Sirius**

I’ll have you know I’m actually on an art grind

**Lily**

Are you now

**Sirius**

Mhm

You know that massive charcoal piece I started in July

I’ve actually finished it

It’s pretty incredible if I do say so myself

**Lily**

Dorcas and I will be the judge of that

**Sirius**

Permission to send a photo to the art gc?

**Lily**

Permission granted

**James**

Guys I’m feeling left out rn

**Lily**

This chat is strictly for sociology, Potter

Would you like to discuss the Marxist perspective of education?

**James**

Tempting

Wait is that what the homework’s on

**Lily**

Partly

**James**

Then I’d love to :)

**Lily**

No

**James**

You offered!

**Sirius**

She was been sarky Prongsie

What do I always say

You can never trust a ginger

**Lily**

Yeah, I’m never messaging this gc again

**James**

Evans :(

**Sirius**

She’s abandoned us mate

Feeling: betrayed

**James**

Heart: broken

**Sirius**

I’m: hungry

**James**

Fancy a takeaway?

**Sirius**

Omg YES

**James**

Chinese??

**Sirius**

Please

**James**

Ordered xx

**Sirius**

Ily <3

I’ll be downstairs in ten

This homework isn’t that hard tbh

**Lily**

I knew you were just too lazy to try it yourself

**Sirius**

Come back to gloat have we?

**Lily**

No

Look

I’ll send my notes if you really are stuck

**Sirius**

Nah

I think we’ve got this Lilster

**James**

Speak for yourself?

**Sirius**

I’ll come down and help you bb

**James**

Aww thank xx

**Lily**

I won’t intervene then

**Sirius**

You don’t want to ;)

**Lily**

Yack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sirius being an art student is just *chefs kiss*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthday presents, frogs, and Mean Girls.

**uptown girls**

**Dorcas**

So

Who’s excited for sixth form tomorrow ??

**Marls**

Did you actually just ask that

**Dorcas**

?? I’m excited

To see you all <3

**Mary**

Awww

We saw each other two days ago though?? <3

**Dorcas**

Yeah but

I miss seeing you every day

**Marls**

Hmm

**Dorcas**

Slag

Just cause you can’t wake up at noon anymore

**Lils**

Now now ladies

**Dorcas**

Lily’s excited

Aren’t you ???

**Lils**

Yes! I miss school tbh

**Mary**

I miss Ben

**Dorcas**

We know

Can’t believe he fucked off to France for the summer

Left us to deal with a mopey Mary

**Mary**

:(

**Dorcas**

Tbh

Would you have even spent time with us if Ben was here??

**Mary**

Of course!

Am I not allowed to miss my boyfriend

While he’s in another country

**Dorcas**

No.

**Lils**

Don’t listen to her Mary

She's just bitter because Emmeline has been in Ireland all August

**Mary**

Ohhh yeah

**Dorcas**

Thanks Lils

Not excited to see you anymore

Or you Mary

Wasn’t excited to see Marls anyway with her shitty attitude

**Marls**

<3

**Lils**

Okay I’m sorry Dorcas

That was mean

But can’t you sympathise with Mary ???

**Dorcas**

Okay yes I’m sorry Mary

It’s shit being away from your other half

And Lily I am looking forward to seeing you

And you Marls, you grumpy girl

**Marls**

Hm

<3

**Dorcas**

Wait guys

It’s my BIRTH WEEK

**Mary**

Exciting!

Party ???

**Dorcas**

Planned babes

Wait

* * *

**dumplings**

**Dorcas**

Hi all !!!

Birthday sesh on Saturday ???

**Sirius**

Yes ???

Yes yes yes

**Dorcas**

Nice

Will it just be me and S drunk and dancing to ABBA or

**Lily**

Thought it was established we were coming ??

We as in the girls

**Dorcas**

Yes

But Lils

By the time ABBA comes on

You’ll be passed out

**Lily**

Well then

**Sirius**

Bahahaha

It does happen every time!

**Lily**

:(

**James**

Sorry

Was having a piss

But yes

Excited!!

**Dorcas**

Nice!! Well

Not the image of you pissing

**Peter**

Will be there x

**Dorcas**

Lovely stuff xxxx

Marlsyyyyy

Where r u

**Marlene**

Why would I not be coming

**Dorcas**

You’ve never seemed more unenthusiastic about anything in your life

**Marlene**

Omg

Dramatic much

**Dorcas**

Is it because I called you a slag

Because Marls

We know you haven’t gotten anything since that toff you snogged at James’s 17th

You’re not a slag love <3

**Marlene**

I hate you

**Remus**

I’m honestly scared to say anything unless I get attacked

**Sirius**

Yeah Dorky can you like

Chill

**Dorcas**

We’re discussing very important matters here guys!!!

Remus are you coming or are you coming

**Remus**

I guess I’m coming?

**Dorcas**

Fab

Will update you all with deets xxxx

* * *

**the plastics**

**Padfoot**

Guys

Dorky’s birthday present???

Ideas???

**Wormtail**

I hate buying things for girls

Never know what to get

Do you think she’d want perfume? A handbag???

**Padfoot**

Pete

She’s turning 18 not 80

Also have you ever seen Dorcas with a handbag??

**Prongs**

Pads come upstairs

I’m browsing Amazon

**Padfoot**

Alrighty 

**Prong**

Okay let’s have a look

Moony?? Care to join us???

**Moony**

Just finishing my history essay

I’m here

**Prongs**

Right

Wait

Should I add the girls to the group??

See what they’re getting

**Wormtail**

Might be helpful

**Prongs**

I agree

**_Prongs_ ** _added_ **_Lily_ ** _,_ **_Marlene_ ** _and_ **_Mary_ ** _to the chat._

**Prongs**

Ladies

There’s an important discussion to be had

In this gc tonight

**Padfoot**

Nice and ominous Prong

**Prong**

Was my aim, Padfoo

**Marlene**

What is a Padfoo

**Mary**

Prong, singular??

**Prongs**

Not important!

**Lily**

You made nicknames

For your nicknames

Ha

**Prongs**

ANYWAY

Guys

What can we get Dorcas?? What did you guys get her?

**Mary**

Oh

We all chipped in to buy her concert tickets!

**Prongs**

Really? To see??

**Lily**

Hozier

General admission as well :)

**Prongs**

Are you all going??

**Marlene**

No James

We bought her one ticket

So she could stand in a sweaty screaming crowd alone

**Prongs**

Alright alright

Bet that was well expensive

**Marlene**

Yeah my bank account has taken a major hit lmao

But it is her 18th

Our friendship is more important that my savings

**Mary**

We’re paying you back soon Marls

**Marlene**

Yeah yeah

My bank account will be crying in the meantime

**Prongs**

Should we do a joint present then??

Or is two joint presents a bit naff

**Mary**

Well if you’re gonna buy something more pricey

**Marlene**

Please

Pricey is James’s middle name

**Prongs**

??

**Marlene**

Toff

**Prongs**

We all know you’re a sucker for a toff, Marls :)

**Lily**

James!

**Prongs**

OMG that was Sirius!! Not me

**Marlene**

Thought so

Sirius you are the blueprint for all toffs

Get fucked

**Padfoot**

Rood :/

**Prongs**

Worm where have you disappeared off to

Prongs and I are being ATTACKED

**Wormtail**

Sorry I’m having tea

Prongs and Padfoot are not toffs

**Prongs**

Thank you!

What you eating??

**Wormtail**

Spag bol!

Mum’s finest

**Prongs**

Very nice

**Marlene**

Pete

Are you lying

**Wormtail**

??? I am eating spag bol

**Marlene**

Not about the spag bol

The toff thing

**Wormtail**

Ohhh

Yes

Yes I am

**Lily**

Hahaha

**Prongs**

Betrayal!!!!

Bugger you and your spag bol

**Wormtail**

Lads you bought me a PS4 for my 17th

That is not what normal people buy their friends for their birthdays

Mum was adamant on returning it until I managed to convince her the money wouldn’t matter between you

**Moony**

I don’t think either of you would’ve ever stepped into a Tesco

If it wasn’t for us

We can’t defend you here

**Prongs**

Moony :(

**Moony**

:( sorry S

Not really

**Prongs**

ANYWAY we still need a present guys

**Marlene**

Well there is something

If you’re willing to go big big

**Prongs**

We’re listening ??

**Marlene**

Well

You know how much Dorcas loves frogs

**Moony**

Yes

Why is that actually

**Mary**

She loves how calm they look all the time

Their ‘vibe’, if you will

**Prongs**

So…..

**Marlene**

So

**Prongs**

Are you suggesting that we get Dorcas

A frog

**Marlene**

No

I’m suggesting you get her two frogs

**Prongs**

?!?!!?

**Marlene**

She said if she were ever to have frogs

She would get two

Because lonely frogs are sad frogs

And she doesn’t like when frogs are anything but living their best life

**Prongs**

Omg

Two frogs

I mean

**Lily**

Hypothetically

You could make this happen

**Prongs**

Oh right

Leave us to buy her two bloody frogs

Where was this idea when you three were brainstorming???

**Mary**

We thought of the tickets first!

If we were only getting her one thing, we thought the tickets were better since she could get frogs at any time

**Moony**

Guys

Why not

**Mary**

!!!

Please guys

She’ll be so happy

**Prongs**

Alright alright!!!

Alright

**Marlene**

Ngl

Didn’t think you’d actually take that seriously

**Prongs**

Serious is my middle name

**Padfoot**

Sirius IS my name

**Marlene**

You picked up your phone just to say that

Did we not agree to leave that joke in year 9

**Padfoot**

??? I agreed to no such thing

**Prongs** ****

So should I close the Amazon tab then

**Lily**

Do they sell pet frogs on Amazon

**Prongs**

Don’t think so

**Wormtail**

There’s a pet shop not far from mine

We can go after sixth form one day??

**Prongs**

Smashing

**Mary**

You’ll need a tank too

And food

And where are you keeping the frogs until Saturday?

**Prongs**

Those are some good questions

**Moony**

Maybe we can give them to her early?

Don’t think bringing frogs to a party is appropriate

**Marlene**

Very true

Unless it’s a frog party

**Moony**

Ha

**Mary**

You’ve got your timetables haven’t you??

If any of you have a free on Friday afternoon you could go then??

Dorcas has art then

**Prongs**

I too have art - S

**Wormtail**

I have physics

**Prongs**

Eww

I’m free actually! - J

**Moony** ****

Me too

James and I are responsible for obtaining the frogs then?

**Prongs**

Yes Remus

Very important business!

**Moony**

Indeed

**Mary**

!!! I’m so excited

Text me the name of the pet shop Pete?

I’ll ring and check they

Stock frogs?

**Marlene**

Maybe don’t word it like that

Sounds like we’re buying them to eat

**Lily**

Sell frogs?

**Marlene**

Better

**Mary**

Okay. Pete?

**Wormtail**

On it

**Lily**

I think she’ll actually cry

**Marlene**

Same

I’m excited

**Prongs**

Okay

Sorted!!

Can we remove you from the group now

**Marlene**

Planning on slagging us off when we leave

**Padfoot**

Yeah <3

**Marlene**

Nice

Well

It’s been fun comrades

**Prongs**

Very

Macs?

Maccy

Mary

**Mary**

I was on the phone

They have frogs! And they’ll be expecting two lanky teenage boys on Friday afternoon

Do NOT forget

**Prongs**

Omg we won’t

**Mary**

Hmmm

Remus?

**Moony**

It’s in my diary

**Mary**

You have a diary?? Aw

**Moony**

Sarky x

**Mary**

Oh :(

**Moony**

You know

I’ll write it down just for you Mary

**Mary**

:)

Lovely

**Marlene**

Okay can you kick us out now

I would also like to slag off you lot in the superior gc

**Prongs**

Ha

You wish

**Marlene**

I’m perfectly okay

Not being a member of the Plastics

But James

You are so Gretchen

**Mary**

OMG totally!!

Sirius is def Regina

Pete is Karen

**Lily**

Hahaha

**Prongs**

That is

So

Fetch!

S says Remus is Cady

Because we corrupted him

**Lily**

That’s perfect

Living up to the gc name

I can respect that

**Padfoot**

Marls

Of COURSE you’re not a member of the Plastics

You’re def Janice!!

**Mary**

Hahaha she so is!

Love it

**Lily**

Okay now that your Mean Girls personas have been established

I actually need to leave

**Prongs**

There will be no LEAVING

You’re getting kicked out!!

**Lily**

Nah

Bye guys

**Mary**

Bye guys!

**_Lily_ ** _has left the chat._

 **_Mary_ ** _has left the chat._

**Marlene**

Goodbye Prong, Worm, Moon

Padfoo

**Padfoot**

:( feeling singled out

**Marlene**

Padfoo

Cracks me up

Anyways

Au revoir

You fugly sluts

**Padfoot**

Ugh

Boo you whore

**_Marlene_ ** _has left the chat._

**Prongs**

Well then

**Padfoot**

Ngl

I sort of want a pet frog now

**Wormtail**

Would you be able to look after one tho

**Padfoot**

?? Yes

**Wormtail**

Okay

**Moony**

I think you would tbh

**Padfoot**

Exactly!

Thanks Moony beam

**Wormtail**

And you are basing this confidence in Sirius off….?

**Moony**

Year 8

When he found that worm on the field

And kept it with him all afternoon

**Prongs**

Hahaha

Didn’t you keep it in your pencil case Pads

**Moony**

He put grass in his pencil case

To make it feel more at home

**Padfoot**

Omg I forgot about that!

**Moony**

Mhm

But I think it suffocated when you accidentally zipped the pencil case shut

**Padfoot**

Omg :( I remember it now

I was devastated

**Prongs**

Yeah for like two minutes

Then you got grossed out by the dead worm in your pencil case and chucked it in the bin

**Wormtail**

Lol

**Prongs**

You were gonna throw it out the window

But we concluded that was unethical

**Moony**

Ah yes

Putting it in the bin for it to be crushed by rubbish

Was a much better fate 

**Padfoot**

Well

I was 13 and stupid

However

Maybe being a frog owner isn’t my calling

**Moony**

Maybe not

You did love that worm though

Momentarily

**Padfoot**

I did

Prongsie

Where have you gone

**Prongs**

Food

Hungry

**Padfoot**

Oh

Crisp

Plea

**Prongs**

Flav

**Padfoot**

Salt n vin

**Prong**

Ye

**Padfoot**

Thank

**Moony**

It hurts my brain when you type like that

**Padfoot**

Hahaha

I think it’s funny

**Moony**

I can tell

**Padfoot**

:( Don’t you?

**Moony**

Eh

**Padfoot**

Padfoo n Prong

Bes frien

**Moony**

Please no

**Wormtail**

I second that no

**Padfoot**

Moon n Worm

No fun

Padfoo unhap 

**Wormtail**

Okay I’m off

**Moony**

Same

**Padfoot**

:(:(:(

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Is it actually annoying

When we talk like that

**Moons**

It’s not annoying 

It does hurt my brain a bit but

Not annoying

**Pads**

Right

**Moons**

?? Okay Pads?

**Pads**

Dandy

Did you finish your history essay?

**Moons**

I did

It took blood sweat and tears though

**Pads**

Sounds rough

**Moons**

Mhm it was

But it’s done now so

Cracked open your new art stuff?

**Pads**

Yes!

Who knew that art is more fun

When you’re using your own equipment

And not stuff that has been wasting away in the art cupboard for years

**Moons**

Madness

Minnie will be thrilled

**Pads**

She will

I’m working on a new piece now

A massive watercolour painting

Of a couple of frogs

Sitting by a lake

Inspired by the convo today

**Moons**

Sounds lovely

Wish I were a frog

Sitting by a lake

With a fellow frog

**Pads**

Me too

It can be us

If we happened to be frogs

**Moons**

Nice

**Pads**

I’ll hang it above my bed

**Moons**

It’s not part of your coursework?

**Pads**

Nah

Honestly

I quite like doing art for myself

You know how I can’t read properly because lit has ruined it for me

Art is the opposite tbh

**Moons**

That’s good

I’ll be expecting a massive fuck off portrait for my birthday then

**Pads**

OMG I need to paint you something! With my fancy new paints

A massive fuck off portrait will be coming your way Remus Lupin

**Moons**

I was joking Pads

I won’t make you put all that effort into a painting for me

Using your fancy paint

**Pads**

You wouldn’t be making me

I want to!

**Moons**

Well

If you insist?? Thank you??

My birthday isn’t til March though

**Pads**

You are most welcome my Moonheart

That’s even better

Lots of time to make it perfect

**Moons**

You’re too nice to me

**Pads**

I just love ya xx

**Moons**

So

I’ll leave you to your majestic frog painting?

**Pads**

As much as I wish I could paint and text at the same time

I can not

See you tomoz??

James said he’ll pick you up???

**Moons**

Bless him

He doesn’t have to

**Pads**

He wants to get Starbs before first lesson

Come with??

**Moons**

Fine

**Pads**

Yayyy!

We would pick you up every day you know

You don’t have to get the bus alone

**Moons**

I know Pads

I can’t ask you both to do that though

**Pads**

You can ask us to do anything Moons 

**Moons**

Bless you both x

Do I really get the bus alone though

When you message non-stop from the moment you leave the house anyway??

**Pads**

Very positive thinking Moony

**Moons**

Mhm

Mother is calling me for tea

Message me in the morning?

**Pads**

Tea

It’s 8pm

**Moons**

She likes watching the ITV dramas while we eat

**Pads**

Hahaha so does Mum!!

She leaves leftovers specifically to do that

Must be a mum thing

**Moons**

I think so

**Pads**

Send Hope my eternal love

And I’ll message you when we’re leaving!

See ya Moonsy xxx

**Moons**

And Effie mine

See you Pads xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me projecting my hatred for sixth form onto marlene..... it’s more likely than you think


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First days and revelations.

**uptown girls**

**Dorcas**

Good morning my loves

How are we all feeling on this beautiful morn??

**Marls**

Like death

**Lily**

Tireddd

**Mary**

Sad

We’ve ran out of tea bags :(

**Dorcas**

Well

I will turn those frowns upside down in an hour

Meet in the car park??

**Lily**

Yep

Anyone need a lift?

**Dorcas**

Mother is taking me

Thank you Lilith 

**Lils**

No problemo

MnM?

**Marls**

Bus

**Mary**

Mum doesn’t need the car this morning so I’m okay

**Dorcas**

Righty

McKinnon

**Marls**

?

**Dorcas**

Frown

Upside

Down!

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pots**

Double bio and chem today :(

I’m tearing up

**Macs**

On our first day back as well!

Double sad :( :(

**Pots**

What a scam

Oh hey

Fancy anything from Starbs?

**Macs**

Are you a mind reader???

Was JUST thinking about leaving early to grab a drink!

**Pots**

No way!!

This is getting scary Mary

Ha

Scary Mary

**Macs**

Haaaa

You have made my morning James

Just a normal tea please

**Pots**

Come on Macs

Splash out a bit

**Macs**

Hmmm

**Pots**

As a treat from your favourite toff :)

**Macs**

Hmm

Oh alright

Caramel macchiato please

Just a tall

**Pots**

Venti it is x

**Macs**

Ugh

You’re impossible

Thanks Pots xxx

**Pots**

No prob

Picking up R then off to Starbs

Meet at school in an hour?

**Macs**

Yup xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Good morning Moony

We are officially en route to yours

**Moons**

Fab

Dying for a coffee

**Pads**

Haven’t you had one this morning

**Moons**

?? No

Waiting for Starbs

**Pads**

Oh

Well

This will be my third coffee of the day

**Moons**

Christ

You’ll be vibrating by 9

**Pads**

Ha

Omg we have lit this morn

**Moons**

So it’s my responsibility to stop you from bouncing off the walls then

**Pads**

Yeaaaah

**Moons**

Lovely stuff

To iterate

That wasn’t sarky

I’ve actually missed lit with you

**Pads**

Awww Moonflower

U r so sweet

**Moons**

At this point

You could add any noun after ‘Moon’ and make it a nickname for me

**Pads**

Hahaha

Mooncar

Moonsugar

Moonfrog

**Moons**

Why does Moonfrog have a nice ring to it

**Pads**

I thought so!

I think I understand Dorcas’s love for frogs now

**Moons**

It’s a very valid love

ETA?

**Pads**

Hmm

I would’ve said 10 mins

Prongs says 20 :/

**Moons**

I told you I lived eons away

Where did you think I lived

**Pads**

Closer than this!

**Moons**

Imagine doing this journey every morning

**Pads**

We would do it for you

**Moons**

Yeah?

**Pads**

Yes

Plus

Gives us more time to jam

**Moons**

Ah

The real reason

Hijacked the aux have we?

**Pads**

I’ll have you know I was offered the aux

Seems like you’re the only one with an issue concerning my tunes Remus

**Moons**

I don’t have an issue with your tunes

I have an issue with you putting on a good song

That none of us can hear

Over your screaming

**Pads**

?!?!?!!

I do not scream

I sing!

I croon

**Moons**

Are you sure you know what ‘croon’ means

**Pads**

Yes.

When we pick you up

I will croon to you

**Moons**

You know

I think I’ll just get the bus

**Pads**

I offer to serenade you and you do this to me

Moony

You wound me

**Moons**

My apologies Pads

Croon all you like

I’ll bring my headphones

**Pads**

You know what Moonfrog

Your

Bloody

Loss!

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pots**

Just parked

**Macs**

Alrighty

I see you

Is that Sirius drinking a frappuccino

At this hour?

In this climate??

**Pots**

He’s a real madman

Dorcas?

**Macs**

Complained at us for being late

Then disappeared off with Em

**Pots**

Classic

* * *

**Private Message**

**Wormy**

Hiya Prongs

Bio??

**Prongs**

Yep

Teacher took one look at my half arsed summer work

And now won’t stop asking me for every bloody answer

**Wormy**

What a nightmare

You know

Mum made us a full English this morning

She said you could’ve came round for one too if you had a free

**Prongs**

Alright Wormy

Rub it in :(

**Wormy**

Ha

Coming in for lunch

See you then

**Prongs**

If I make it to lunch

Without my brain exploding

**Wormy**

I’ll pray for you

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Hey

Fancy nipping to Greggs?

Just left media

**Rems**

How could you tell

That I’ve been craving a steak bake all morning

**Marls**

My Marl senses are tingling

**Rems**

Obviously

Just us?

**Marls**

Yeah

Want to talk

About something

**Rems**

Alright

Where are you?

**Marls**

Car park

**Rems**

Will be there in 5 x

* * *

**dumplings**

**Lily**

So

Where is everyone???

**James**

I think half our friends have gone missing

**Mary**

Marls and Remus have gone to Greggs

Dorcas has disappeared off with Em

**James**

Nice

**Lily**

Not nice

They haven’t seen each other in a month

Christ knows what they’re getting up to

**Sirius**

Surely they wouldn’t

You know

At school????

**Lily**

Do not Sirius

Just

Don’t

**Sirius**

Bahahaha

Wait where’s Pete?

**James**

Bugger decided he couldn’t be arsed to come in for lunch

**Sirius**

Lazy git

Hope you’re reading this Wormy

**Mary**

Guys

I’m starving

**Sirius**

Ugh same

Lunch hall?

**Mary**

We’ll meet you there

**Sirius**

Fab

**Pete**

:(

No need Sirius

No need

* * *

**Private Message**

**Prongs**

Allow me to escort you home, fair maiden?

**Moony**

It’d be my pleasure

**Prongs**

Your carriage awaits!

* * *

**dumplings**

**Dorcas**

You guys

I’m not some sort of FIEND

That engages in the nasty

In a public learning environment

**Lily**

Dorcas love

The hickeys you had an on your neck after lunch

Beg to differ

**Dorcas**

I have eczema

**Mary**

Eczema my arse!

**Sirius**

Honestly Dorcs

I admire you for it

**Dorcas**

The lot of you

Suck on a fat one <3

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Hey Rems

Thanks for today

**Rems**

Of course

You feeling okay?

**Marls**

Fine

Just

Shit

**Rems**

That’s quite oxymoronic

**Marls**

You are the only person I know that would use that word in casual conversation

**Rems**

Ha

Seriously though

Anything I can do?

**Marls**

You’re alright Rems

I guess if I sulk enough

I’ll get used to it

**Rems**

That’s the spirit

**Marls**

You know me

Always the optimist

**Rems**

I forgot to say as well

Thanks for telling me

**Marls**

? You’re welcome

**Rems**

I mean like

For trusting me with that

**Marls**

Oh

Of course

Like I said

It’s not like I don’t trust the girls

I just

I don’t know

**Rems**

I understand

**Marls**

Yeah

Thanks for listening

**Rems**

Anytime

**Marls**

You know

Since we’ve established now

That I don’t like dick

**Rems**

Nicely worded

**Marls**

Uh huh

I now feel no shame in admitting

That I truly

Fully believed

That last year

I had a crush on you

Rem...

**Rems**

Sorry I just

Marlene McKinnon

Had a crush

On me

And you failed to mention this during our Greggs heart to heart

**Marls**

Excuse me

Key word: believed

Because I soon realised

That I actually just

Really enjoyed being your friend

**Rems**

Marls

That is the sweetest thing ever

**Marls**

Mmm

Relish in the mush while you can

In approximately ten seconds

I’ll throw up from how disgusting that was

**Rems**

Relishing

Relishing

Done relishing

That was pretty disgusting

**Marls**

Agreed

But Rems

I do love you

Very platonically 

**Rems**

And I love you

Very much platonically

**Marls**

I mean

Was there a need for the ‘much’

**Rems**

Just making sure

Your crush on me

Isn’t still lingering

**Marls**

Remus Lupin

I regress

I hate you

**Rems**

<3

**Marls**

<3

* * *

**Private Message**

**Lils**

Hi babe

Just checking in

To make sure

My favourite blonde

Is A-OK xxx

**Marls**

Thanks Lils xxx

Your favourite blonde

Is fine

Just had a bit of a shit day

You know how it is

**Lils**

I get you

I’m sorry it hasn’t been a great first day

Was lunch with Remus okay?

**Marls**

Yeah

It was nice

You were right about those vegan sausage rolls

**Lils**

They’re delicious aren’t they??

Nobody else would try one!

**Marls**

Their loss

They’re beautiful

**Lils**

Ready for psych tomorrow?

**Marls**

As ready as one can be

To be tested on first year content

And remember fuck all

**Lils**

True

I’ll be honest

I copied Alice’s summer work entirely

**Marls**

*gasp*

And you have a go at everyone else for scrounging homework!

You hypocrite

**Lils**

I feel terrible Marls

However

Considering that half of everyone’s work combined last year was copied from me

I think I owed it to myself

**Marls**

Fair enough tbh

Good on you Lils

**Lils**

Thanks!

Sit with us at lunch tomorrow?

M and I missed your dry commentary

**Marls**

I bet

Will do

How were dumb and dumber?

**Lils**

Alright tbh

I still can’t comprehend

That James and I actually sort of get on now

**Marls**

Honestly Lils

I feel like you would’ve gotten on years ago

If he hadn’t managed to act like an idiot every single time he’s ever been in your presence

**Lils**

Ha

Do you think that means

He’s gotten over me by now?

**Marls**

Love

That boy

Has had his heart sworn to you

Since Avery threw bacon sarnie off you at lunch

And you turned around and said

(And I quote)

What the fuck was that for, you daft git?

**Lils**

A part of me withers away every time that’s brought up

Why was I so aggressive

At 13??

**Marls**

Lily Evans in year 9 was something else

You were wild

**Lils**

You really think it was that incident that wooed him

**Marls**

I think it wooed half the lunch hall

But James had well and truly

Fell in love

After you then gave Avery

The dirtiest look I’ve ever fucking seen

**Lils**

Hahaha

Tbh

I don’t think he’s looked me in the eye since then

**Marls**

He wouldn’t dare

**Lils**

Well

At least this year

James and I are friends

Wait

Are we friends??

**Marls**

Well

Are you?

**Lils**

I guess so

Yeah

Yeah we’re friends

**Marls**

Sweet

Don’t tell J though

He might collapse

**Lils**

Marls

Wait

He knows we’re friends right?

**Marls**

Uh

You didn’t know until like

A minute ago

**Lils**

But he doesn’t think I don’t like him

Marlene??

**Marls**

To be honest with you Lils

I don’t know what you think years of rejection does to a bloke

But it’s nothing good

**Lils**

Oh no

Should I like

Message him?

**Marls**

Saying what exactly

**Lils**

Hi James

You do know we’re friends right

or

I like you James

But not like that

or

**Marls**

Hun

I’m gonna stop you right there

For the love of vegan sausage rolls

Please do not message him

**Lils**

But I want to like

Establish our friendship

**Marls**

How about

You act like his friend

And the friendship will establish itself

Like normal friendships do

**Lils**

Argh

You’re right

**Marls**

Mhm

**Lils**

Swiftly moving on

You sure you’re okay?

**Marls**

I’m good

Better now

**Lils**

:) Good good

Let me give you a lift tomorrow?

**Marls**

Lils

There is nothing I’d rather do

Than spend my Friday morning

With you

**Lils**

Oh Marls

I’m wiping tears

How poetic

**Marls**

I’m not sure if rhyming sentences = poetry

But

I’m pretty proud of that one

Ngl

**Lils**

Well

It certainly warmed my heart

You big softie <3

**Marls**

Hmm

Love oo <3

**Lils**

Love oooo xxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love marlene mckinnon okay bye


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation Frog commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a shorter chapter bc it will wreck me if each chapter isn’t a new day. next chapter will be a longish one!

**Private Message**

**Moons**

I know you’re in art but

If you’d like to witness Operation Frog commence...

**Pads**

You called it Operation Frog !!

Told you it would catch on

Have you arrived

At your first location??

**Moons**

…

**Pads**

The pet shop

Come on Moons

Keep up

**Moons**

Yes we have arrived

Although Prongs has gone MIA

**Pads**

Already???

**Moons**

It seems so

Ah

Found him

He’s talking to the chinchillas

**Pads**

Ugh they are so CUTE

**Moons**

You know

Can’t say I see the appeal

They look like someone morphed a mouse and a rabbit together

And stuck a bushy tail on its arse

**Pads**

Moony

That’s what makes them so

Darn

Adorable

Tell the chinchillas

I think they're lovely

**Moons**

I’ll have James pass on the message

He’s fully conversing with them

The chinchillas almost look

Intrigued?

Does Prongs have some secret ability

That we don’t know about??

**Pads**

Oh Christ

He’s already telepathic!!

Although

It’s suspicious how well he gets on

With every stray cat he comes across

I swear he could form a cat cult

If he really wanted to

**Moons**

Let’s not piss him off then

Because the thought of him getting his cat cult on us

Is terrifying

Okay I think he’s actually considering getting one

**Pads**

Operation Frog must resume Moons

Tell him to suck it up

And locate the goods

Remember your objective comrades!

**Moons**

Okay we’re leaving the rodent section

And we have

Found

The frogs!

**Pads**

Nice!

What are they like???

**Moons**

So

Bloody

Cute

**Pads**

Awww

Wish I was there :(

You going to D’s straight after?

**Moons**

Yes

And we were already planning on picking you up Pads

From school okay?

**Pads**

Perfect

I can’t wait to see them!!

Do you think Dorky will be that bothered

If she only gets one frog

**Moons**

Lonely frogs are sad frogs remember

And Pads

Did we not establish

That owning a frog

Was not your true calling?

**Pads**

First of all

The frog would NOT be lonely

Because it would have me!

Second of all

:( I guess we did

However

If you’d like to enforce

Idk

Operation Chinchilla ??

**Moons**

Do you really want a chinchilla

You know

You’d have to clean up its shit

**Pads**

Yack

I’d get Prongs to do that

**Moons**

Prongs just said

He’d get YOU to do that

**Pads**

OMG that traitor

Idk if I could do chinchilla shit Moons

**Moons**

Let’s not dwell on Operation Chinchilla then

And I’m sure Dorcas will let you visit her frogs any time

**Pads**

Of course

They have to see their Uncle Pads

 **Moons** ****

Of course

Kind woman has approached and is educating us

Her name is Natalie

They don’t have many diff species

But she noticed how I was making heart eyes at the little green frogs

Which are American green tree frogs!

And says they’d be perfect for first-time frog owners

**Pads**

OMG they sound adorbs

**Moons**

She’s gone to get us an appropriate tank

And we’ll need to buy some insects

For the frogs to snack on

**Pads**

Yack

But my nephews must eat well

Nephews???

**Moons**

Nephews.

**Pads**

Awww my boys <3

Any progress??

**Moons**

Paying soon

Natalie is preparing the tank

You know

To export the goods

**Pads**

Exciting!!!

Omg

Moons

**Moons**

Pads?

**Pads**

Oh sweet Pete

Gonna have to skedaddle

Minnie just came in

Oh she’s seen me texting

And she’s walking towards me

Talk lat

**Moons**

Nice one Pads x

En route to school

Operation Frog was a grand success.

**Pads**

Remus

The STRESS I’ve just endured

I’ve just had to convince Dorcs

Not to go back to Emmeline’s

After she spent all of art

Prattling on about how much she wants to get back to Em’s

For a shag

**Moons**

Sweet Pete indeed

So she’s definitely going home??

Just pulling into car park

**Pads**

Yes

Emmeline is going with her

She was very confused as to why

I cared so much about whose house they shagged at

**Moons**

Jesus

What did you say?

**Pads**

Well Lily obvs knew that Operation Frog was a go

And saved the day

I was ready to list why Dorky’s house was prime shagging territory

But Lily told her she wanted a girls afternoon

And that MnM would be joining them later

And Dorky’s house is always free so

Lil has left with them

**Moons**

Nice one Lils

And I wish I wasn’t intrigued but this list you’ve compiled

However...

**Pads**

Well if you insist….

For starters

It’s in the middle of fucking nowhere

You can make as much noise as you want

**Moons**

Solid point

**Pads**

Secondly

Her freezer is always STOCKED

**Moons**

And that’s significant because

**Pads**

Post-shag ice cream Moonpie

Obviously

**Moons**

Ah

Obviously

**Pads**

Can’t beat it

**Moons**

What

**Pads**

Oh!

I see you

Remind me to message you the rest of that list

I made some cracking points ngl

**Moons**

Right

**Pads**

Omw xxx

* * *

**dumplings**

**Dorcas**

I’m still crying guys

Thank you

SO MUCH

My dumplings <3

**Sirius**

Ahhhh!

How are they doing???

**Dorcas**

I think they love their new home!

Haven’t held one yet because of how sensitive their skin is

But they are so cute!!!

I’m not sleeping tonight

I’m gonna lie awake

And watch them exist

**Sirius**

Blow them kisses for me

**Dorcas**

Of course

**Lily**

Ahhh I’m so happy you’re happy!

**Pete**

Do we have names??

**Dorcas**

I think we do

**James**

OMG

**Dorcas**

I am now mother to……..

Po and Siri!!!!

**Sirius**

Dorky

Tears

Actual tears

YOU NAMED ONE OF MY NEPHEWS AFTER ME

**James**

You’ve actually set him off

Nevermind tears

Waterworks!

**Dorcas**

Hahaha sorry babe!!

I know how much you love them already!

THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CUTE

**Mary**

That’s SO cute

But how will you tell them apart??

**Dorcas**

A mother just knows :)

**Mary**

Ahhh

Okay

**Remus**

Have you fed them yet??

**Dorcas**

I have

I’m not an insect person

So it was a bit rank

But seeing my babies eating and happy

Made Mama very happy

**Remus**

I’m glad

**Dorcas**

I’ve already been away for too long

Must return to my children

Again

THANK YOU

**Sirius**

Don’t think I’ll ever recover from this tbh

Thank YOU xxxx

**Dorcas**

Xxxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorcas’s 18th.

**Private Message**

**Jammy**

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DORY

Have a SMASHING day

Can’t wait for this eve! Xxx

**Dory**

THANK YOU JAMMY

ILY

* * *

**Private Message**

**Lilith**

Happy birthday sweetheart!!!

Can’t wait for tonight xxxx

Plan? X

**Dorcath**

Thank you my love xxxxx

Will message the gc in a mo

I’m just so popular this morning!!

**Lilith**

I’ll leave you to your fans

But remember

Who your number 1 is

**Dorcath**

Always you Lilith <3

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marlsy**

Happy 18th you beaut

How are we feeling

On this wonderful morn? Xxx

**Dork**

Heyyy that’s my line!

But we are feeling FAB

Will be even more fab

When I see you baby girl xxx

**Marlsy**

Oh you <3

**Dork**

Hey

Fancy going out for breakfast?

I feel like we haven’t properly talked in ages

Is that weird??

**Marlsy**

No

I feel the same

Shall we inform the gc?

**Dork**

Marls

I meant just me and you

You dafty

**Marlsy**

Oh okay

Yeah

I’d love to

I’ll pick up the birthday girl in an hour?

**Dork**

How chivalrous of you!

Sounds good

See you soon xx

**Marlsy**

See you xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Remus

Remus I’m having a crisis

Remus if you don’t reply in the next 30 seconds I swear to fuck

**Rems**

How have I just woken up

And you’re already having a crisis

Everything okay?

**Marls**

Dorcas asked me to go out for breakfast with her

**Rems**

Okay

Sounds nice?

**Marls**

Bloody hell

Rems

It’s her 18th birthday

And she’s asked me

Me ONLY

To go out for breakfast

Not the other girls as well

Not Emmeline

Me

For fucks sake

It’s because she feels sorry for me

I’ve been a right bitch all week

Remus I’m going out for a pity meal

This is embarrassing

**Rems**

Marls please just

Calm down for a sec

Call?

_Calling…_

“What the fuck am I doing, Remus? I should’ve told her I couldn’t go.”

“Marls, it’s her birthday, and she’s still your friend.”

“I know, I know. Fuck, I’m being selfish.”

“You’re not being selfish. It’s— Its shit, I get it.”

“She said it felt like we hadn’t spoken in ages.”

“Well that’s why she wants to see you, Marls. She misses you; it’s not out of pity.”

“Maybe it should be. I mean, I fancy my fucking best friend and she’s madly in love with someone else. What a poor sod I am. And now I’ve got to go out with her alone and pretend I don’t want to snog her senseless.”

“I’m sorry, Marls.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not any less important to her, you know. She noticed you’d been keeping your distance. She cares about you a lot.”

“I know. She’s just lovely, isn’t she? I don’t want to be a shit friend. Rems. it’s just so fucking hard. It’s so hard to be happy for her and Em when…”

“Yeah, I know. But you’re not a shit friend, Marls. It’s just a shitty situation.”

“Really shit.”

“Really shit, but you’ll be okay.”

“Ugh, will I?”

“Yes. Now come on, you’ve had your mope. You’re going out to breakfast with a friend who really wants to see you, and it’s her birthday. It’ll be nice.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t _hmm_ me, McKinnon. It _will_ be nice. She is still your friend, and you still love her as one.”

“I do. I want us to have a nice time, Rems.”

“You will, you’ll have a great time. I don’t think anyone’s ever spent time with Dorcas and not had a great time.”

“Can’t argue there. She’s… the best.”

“Yeah. I’ll leave you to get ready? Don’t want to make you late.”

“Alright… Thanks, Remus. I know all I do is complain.”

“That’s not true. You also steal my history notes every other fucking week and complain when your essays don’t get A’s. So actually, maybe you are always complaining.”

“Cheeky git. I’ll see you later then?”

“Yeah, let me know how breakfast goes though?”

“Will do. Bye Rems.”

“Bye Marls.”

_Call ended._

**Marls**

Thanks again

For listening

I just get so stuck in my head sometimes

It’s nice getting it out

**Rems**

Of course

Anytime

Now go enjoy your breaky xx

**Marlsy**

Will fucking do xx

* * *

**dumplings**

**Dorcas**

Sesh officially starts at 7 lads

Be there

Or get fucked xx

**Pete**

I don’t think that’s the saying

**Dorcas**

Ha

* * *

**complimentary colours**

**Dorky**

Okay team

I need the two of you here

In half an hour

Ngl

I’m stressing

**Siri**

If it wasn’t your birthday

I’d reach through the phone and strangle you

I’ve just got in the bath!

**Dorky**

You can have a bath at mine!

You see

I really underestimated how long

It would take to blow up balloons

And put up streamers

And clean my wreck of a house

By myself

**Lils**

And you need us specifically because?

**Dorky**

Because you’re my complimentary colours!!

I reckon the three of us could stop the apocalypse tbh

With your smarts Lil

My ambition

And Siri’s raw sex appeal

We’d be unstoppable

**Siri**

Can’t even argue tbh

Can I actually have a bath at yours

I have a pre-sesh regime I need to follow through

**Dorky**

Yes you can love

As long as you blow some balloons while you’re in there

Mary could’ve been a strong fourth team member

But she’s decided shagging Ben

Is way more important

**Lils**

That’s a lovely mental image

I’ll be over ASAP xx

**Dorky**

Great

Oh and Sirius

Grab J’s speaker on your way out

Mines fucked

**Siri**

OMG just realised

I’ll be seeing my nephews!!

Should I bring them a gift

I feel like I should

**Dorky**

Well if you’ve got any crickets on you

They seem to scoff them down

**Siri**

Well

My love will be enough of a gift <3

See you in a few Dorky

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Going to D’s to help set up

Devastated there will be no prinks at yours Moonpie

**Moons**

You know

I was actually considering that suggestion

**Pads**

Don‘t even consider prinks without me!!

I will cry

**Moons**

I would never

You were the one supplying the voddy if I recall

How fun would prinks be

With only some tropical fruit juice

**Pads**

And without yours truly

**Moons**

That too

* * *

**the plastics**

**Prongs**

Okay lads

What does a fella wear

If he’s out to impress

A certain redhead??

**Wormtail**

I was getting worried Prongs

Evans hasn’t been a topic of conversation in the gc

For days

Glad to know you’re not coming down with something

**Padfoot**

He’s def not

What he hasn’t been saying in the gc

He’s been invading my room and telling me

WHEN I’M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP

**Prongs**

And I’ve not heard a SINGLE helpful word from you Sirius

So here were are

Back in the gc

Help a guy out lads???

**Moony**

James

What do any of us know about fashion

**Padfoot**

Uh excuse me

My wardrobe is immaculate

**Moony**

Your wardrobe came straight out of 2014

**Wormtail**

Lmfao

We know there’s still MCR shirts in there Padfoot

**Padfoot**

Is that supposed to be an insult

The MCR merch stays forever

And I think my blacks jeans/Doc Martens/leather jackets combo is still a fucking look

**Prongs**

Tbh

None of us could hack it like you do

**Padfoot**

Thank you Prongsie

Now if you’re all done slandering me

I believe we’re trying to make James look presentable??? Tough job

**Prongs**

Guys :(

Really

I think me and Lily are finally getting on like

Like proper friends

I can’t muck it up now!

And if I look like a tosser tonight

I’ll probably act like one too

**Moony**

Prongs

You won’t look like a tosser tonight

Whatever you wear

But if you’re that stressed

I’m just eating tea and I can get the bus to yours?

**Prongs**

Moony you star!!

Fuck the bus

I’m coming to pick you up

**Moony**

Thought you might say that

Thanks mate xx

**Prongs**

No prob xx

Mind you

My wardrobe is a fucking cesspit

**Padfoot**

Honestly

I think if you stepped into it

You’d come out into Narnia

Except Narnia is a burning stinking hell

**Moony**

Nice

Can’t wait

**Padfoot**

Remember Moony

Don’t let him wear that god awful red hoodie

Pry it from his cold dead hands if you have to

**Prongs**

Oi!

That hoodie’s perfectly fine

**Padfoot**

If by fine you mean actual vomit in the form of a clothing item

Then yeah

It’s FINE

**Moony**

Can’t say I rate that hoodie either Prongs

**Padfoot**

And that’s coming from cardigan central!

**Moony**

Okay cardigan slander is where I draw the line

**Prongs**

Nahh Moony def pulls them off

Idk if you could tbh Pads

**Wormtail**

Don’t think you’d catch him dead in a cardigan

No offence Remus

**Moony**

Offence taken :(

Prongs hurry up

You’re the only one that likes me apparently

**Wormtail**

It’s the cardigans that are the clear issue here

**Moony**

Me and my cardigans are one, thank you very much

**Padfoot**

Honestly Moons

I don’t even think the cardigan looks good

Until you put it on

And suddenly

It’s quite a statement

**Moony**

Well

Thank you Pads

Like I said

No cardigan slander

**Padfoot**

No MOONY in a cardigan slander

**Moony**

I guess I’ll take what I can get

* * *

**Private Message**

**Rems**

Leaving for D’s now

How was this morning?

**Marls**

Me and M leaving too

Honestly Rems

It was really nice

Got a full English

**Rems**

Very nice

**Marls**

Dorc went for blueberry pancakes

And she let me have one

In exchange for a sausage

Said that’s the only sausage she’ll ever take

Had to resist agreeing with her

**Rems**

Ha

Have you thought any more about

You know

**Marls**

Not really honestly

Well

I sort of want to tell Lily

But I feel guilty

Like I’m keeping it a secret from one person but telling the next

**Rems**

That’s nothing to feel guilty about Marls

Telling one person at a time is totally fine

If that’s what you’re comfortable with

**Marls**

Yeah

It’s just

What if she finds out about Dorcas

And she thinks it’s weird

**Rems**

Lily wouldn’t think that

Maybe you’re convincing yourself that she would

To try and justify not wanting to tell anyone else yet?

**Marls**

Okay Dr. Lupin

Thanks for the free therapy

Maybe you should be doing psychology 

**Rems**

Ha

**Marls**

I mean

Ugh I don’t fucking know

Like

I want everyone to know because I hate feeling like I’m hiding

But at the same time

That’s absolutely terrifying

**Rems**

You can take it at your own pace Marls

How did you know you wanted to tell me?

**Marls**

I guess it just felt right

Like I was nervous but

I was ready

I don’t think I’m ready again though

**Rems**

That’s okay 

At your own pace Marls

**Marls**

Ugh

I need a drink

**Rems**

Well you’re on the way to the right place

See you in a few, yeah?

**Marls**

See you Rems

* * *

**the plastics**

**Prongs**

Moony and I are parking up

You here yet Wormy?

**Padfoot**

I ammmmm

Been waiting for you guys!

**Moony**

And you were complaining about us having pres without you

Hypocrite

**Padfoot**

Well I had to have shots with the birthday gal!

How do you even know I’m buzzedddd :)

**Moony**

Because you elongate your words likes thissss

Coming in now

Where are you

**Padfoot**

You’ll see me ;)

**Wormtail**

I’ll be there in five

And Christ

What does that mean

**Moony**

It means he’s on the table

Dancing to Crazy In Love

And we can certainly see him

**Wormtail**

Lovely

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

You okay?

**Rems**

Yes?

Where even are you

**Marls**

Talking to Mary and Ben

By the speaker

I think I’m going deaf

**Rems**

Move away from the speaker perhaps?

**Marls**

Nah

At least I can’t hear the obscene things those two have been whispering to each other since we got here

Disgusting

**Rems**

Oh Marls

Shots?

**Marls**

Shots.

Stay where you are

I can see you

You sure you’re okay though?

You look a bit flushed

**Rems**

I’m fine

It’s just hot

**Marls**

Mm

* * *

**the plastics**

**Prongs**

Guys

Not to be dramatic

But I’ve just had a full convo with Lily

Like

An actual conversation

That didn’t end with her storming off

Or me saying something stupid and awkwardly making an escape

**Moony**

Nice one Prongs!

See

The black shirt is totally working for you

**Prongs**

And you said you weren’t a fashion guru Moony!

She’s went back to dancing now

She’s so fit

**Wormtail**

Go and dance with her then?

**Prongs**

Woah Wormy

One step at a time!!

Where’s the birthday girl

We need to sing happy birthday!!

**Padfoot**

WIAT DONF SING IT WITHPOUT ME

**Prongs**

Wouldn’t dare Pads

Come into the living room boys

ITS TIME

* * *

**uptown girls**

**Mary**

Okay ABBA has officially made it onto the speaker

Where is Lily

**Dorcas**

She passed out 10 minutes ago lmao

Bless her

I think Remus is with her

**Marls**

I’m surprised you’re not hammered Dorcs

**Dorcas**

Nahh

I want to actually remember this birthday

**Mary**

Smart girl

Sirius seems to still be going

**Dorcas**

He’ll be going until Dancing Queen finishes

And then he’ll be joining Lils on my bed

Where are you guys??

Alice is doing a rendition of Feliz Navidad

I think she’s getting her occasions mixed up

**Mary**

Sirius is still tearing up the dance floor

This is enough entertainment for me

**Dorcas**

I guess I have no choice but to come and watch

I’ll bring Als down

Before she sneaks of with Frank

I’ll be having none of the hanky panky

In my abode tonight

**Marls**

Dorcas

You’re def one to talk

**Dorcas**

Doesn’t count if it’s me babe ;)

You okay Marls?

**Marls**

Me and J have went for a walk

**Dorcas**

So you’ve abandoned my sesh

**Marls**

We’re getting fresh air

The fumes emitting from your house rn Dorcs

I’m surprised everyone’s not passed out

**Dorcas**

You’re both right health weirdos

Well

Come back soon

Good lord

Sirius really is putting on a show

But I won’t have him steal the spotlight at my own party

Talk later girlies xxxx

**Marls**

Show him up Dorcs xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Mopby 

Mppny

Moont

Moony

**Moons**

Got there in the end

How you doing?

**Pads**

Thonk I’m gopna

Vom

**Moons**

Pads

Where are you

**Pads**

Hmmm

Idk

**Moons**

Ffs

Where’s James?

**Pads**

Lrft with Marls

Walk

**Moons**

Since I can hear Voulez Vous

I’m assuming you’ve just done Dancing Queen

And are in the living room

**Pads**

Bingo!!!!

Ypu are so smsrt Moonz

**Moons**

Thanks Pads

Won’t be long x

**Pads**

:))))))))

* * *

**Private Message**

**Dorcas**

Just had a thought

Please don’t let drunk Sirius near Po and Siri

I love him to bits

But he’ll end up knocking the tank over

And I will have to murder him

**Remus**

Don’t worry

He’s admiring them from the comfort of your bed

He’s tucked himself in

I hope you don’t mind

There was no stopping him

**Dorcas**

As long as he’s comfortable

AND HIS SHOES ARE OFF PLS SAY HE TOOK HIS SHOES OFF FIRST

**Remus**

HIS SHOES ARE OFF

Even drunk

Sirius’s posh boy etiquette remains

**Dorcas**

Tbh

It’s not even posh boy etiquette

It’s just human decency

**Remus**

Yes but

He put his shoes by the door

And told everyone else to take off their shoes

So he could line them up by the door

**Dorcas**

Lmfao

Bless him

People are starting to head off now btw

Obvs not kicking out my dumplings

I think the girls are staying over

Actually

Every single one of you has been drinking

None of you are leaving tonight <3

**Remus**

Does being 18

Now make you the mum friend

**Dorcas**

Yes

Except by that logic

Sirius would be second in line to that

When in reality

He’s the babe of the group

**Remus**

Defo

James is second in line

Whenever he finds out I haven’t had breakfast

I get thwacked

**Dorcas**

Hahaha no I LITERALLY do the same thing with the girls

You’ll all be fed and watered in the morning

J and I will make sure

**Remus**

Looking forward to it

I think S and L have chosen your bed for the night

**Dorcas**

I’ll get you the air mattress

If they’re both still out of it

I don’t trust them around my boys

**Remus**

Great

**Dorcas**

Won’t be a min

Mumma James is making cuppas

Fancy one?

**Remus**

Immensely

**Dorcas**

Coming up hun x

**Remus**

Thank you xxx

Is Pete with you?

Genuinely haven’t seen him all night

**Dorcas**

OMFG well

There’s been some drams Remus

I’ll let Pete explain to you in the morn

He’s drunk and still a bit shook from the experience

**Remus**

Oh god

Is he okay

**Dorcas**

James is taking care of the poor sod

Marls is already out

Mary won’t go to sleep

Texting her boyf

Also

I think Mary and Ben might’ve shagged on my bed

**Remus**

I’m sorry

The bed I’m sitting on rn

Dorcas

This isn’t okay

Feel a bit violated

**Dorcas**

It was either the bed or the upstairs bathroom

But they disappeared for a good 45 mins

And omg

Mary came back a wreck

She got her shit rocked Remus

Which is great you know

Good for her

However

NOT IN MY ABODE

**Remus**

What time was this????

**Dorcas**

Like 10

I should’ve expected it from those two

They’re like bloody rabbits 

**Remus**

Oh well

That’s fine

Gid and Fab were up playing on your PS4 then

**Dorcas**

OMG what a RELIEF

I was gonna have to burn them sheets

I mean

That still means they shagged in the bathroom

Which is a bit rank

However

I’ll let it slide

**Remus**

Well

Your house is prime shagging territory

**Dorcas**

Excuse me???!!!?

**Remus**

Ask Sirius tomorrow

Where’s this cuppa at

**Dorcas**

I certainly will

Lmao sorry I was meant to bring it up

You’re distracting me

**Remus**

My apologies

Tea please

**Dorcas**

Alright your highness

Omw

* * *

**Private Message**

**Padfoo**

Ypo nevr said gnight :(((

**Prong**

Sorry Pads

Goodnight bby xxx

**Padfoo**

Nighht xxxxxx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the party — Sirius’s affairs, British actors, and Marlene faces another problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this is a bit long but drama is ensuing

**the plastics**

**Padfoot**

Well

I never thought I’d wake up in bed

Next to Lily Evans

**Prongs**

I know you’re joking Pads

But it hurts a bit

Ngl :(

**Padfoot**

Soz Prongs

We aren’t naked though

**Prongs**

Thanks for the clarity

Surprised you’re not brain dead this morn??

**Padfoot**

Oh no

I do feel like shit

Like my skull has been crushed

With a massive fuck off boulder

But other than that

We’re gucci

**Moony**

Morning Pads

**Padfoot**

Morning Moony

Where’ve you disappeared off?

**Moony**

Had to leave early

**Padfoot**

Wait

It’s fucking 12pm

Tell me you’re still here James

So I’m not the only one that gets battered by Mum

**Prongs**

I’m just downstairs with Pete

And MnM

Dorcas has went out for breakfast with Emmeline

And there will be no battering

She knows you’ve had a rough night

**Padfoot**

Ffs

She already thinks I’m a borderline alcoholic

**Moony**

Well

**Padfoot**

I’m not!

We all like a bit of voddy every now and then

Can’t believe Dorky had ditched us though

In her own gaff

Is anyone else still asleep?

Lily is still dead to the world

**Prongs**

Pete is flat out

MnM have been up for a bit

They’ve made coffee

**Padfoot**

Jamesy 

You know how we’re soulmates

And you love me

More than life

**Prongs**

I would refuse

But I’m so bloody bored

Tea on way xx

**Padfoot**

Thank much xx

**Prongs**

Do you think Lily would kill me

If I woke her up

So we could play on the PS4

**Padfoot**

In cold blood

Yes

I’ll find us a game

**Prongs**

Lovely jubbly :)

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Hiya Moons

Just checking you’re as right as a Moony can be

What time did you leave?

**Moons**

Hey Pads

I left at 10 I think?

Dorcas dropped me off before she went out

**Pads**

Ahh

Everything okay?

**Moons**

Fine

Just had a few messages from my dad

Claiming he didn’t know I was going out last night

When I told him at the beginning of the week

And I texted him after I left

And he’s mad because I shouldn’t be having nights out

When sixth form has just started again

**Pads**

Christ

Its as if he’s never had a bit of fun in his lifetime

The way he shits on you whenever you do

Sorry Moons

**Moons**

It’s honestly fine

He’s being a grump to me now

But I’d rather him ignore me than start an argument

**Pads**

Fair enough

But it’s still shitty

**Moons**

Yeah

How are you feeling anyway?

**Pads**

Not too bad now

Skull crushing headache has diminished a bit

Me and J have played some CoD

Lily was fuming that we woke her up

But she played with us as well after

Ngl

I sensed some tension

**Moons**

I hope by that

You mean between her and James

Not her and you

Or worse

The three of you together

**Pads**

Lmao

Def not me and Lils

And me and James

Well

As much as I love him

**Moons**

I wasn’t expecting you to debate this but

**Pads**

ANYWAY

Her and Prongs were actually like

Laughing

He was cracking all his best jokes

Which is mad

Because he’s never funny around Lily

Felt like a bit of a third wheel tbh

If I wasn’t so thrilled for Prongs

I might’ve started crying

**Moons**

God forbid that the attention isn’t all on you Pads

But maybe this is James’s year

**Pads**

I think it might be

Do you think it’s weird

That there’s 8 of us

And only 2 of us

Have ever been in a relationship

**Moons**

Well

That’s not true

Are we forgetting

A certain year 8 affair

**Pads**

Look

I thought we agreed

As a group

To not bring that up

**Moons**

You are the one bringing up relationships

I think that counted as one

**Pads**

2 weeks does NOT count

**Moons**

You took Mary to a Sainsburys cafe

For your first and only date

And then proceeded to spill hot chocolate

Over the skirt she bought specifically for that date

And then you had the audacity to ask for a snog

I think it certainly does count

**Pads**

Good God

I feel like I’ve just re-lived the experience

It’s good thing I’m sat down

It acc gives me the shivers

**Moons**

It should

I still feel terrible for Mary

**Pads**

What about me?!

My ego really took a hit after that

I was considering going celibate tbh

**Moons**

Well

**Pads**

??

Moony?

**Moons**

Nothing

Forget it

**Pads**

No no Moony

You can not get away from me that easily

Well what???

**Moons**

Just

Something you said the other day

**Pads**

I say a lot of things every day Moons

You’re gonna have to be more specific

**Moons**

Ffs

Just

During Operation Frog

When we were texting

You were talking about post-shag ice cream

And you said that it couldn’t be beat

Implying that you knew that from experience

Implying that you’ve shagged before

Unless you meant that hypothetically it couldn’t be beat

And I’m going to throw my phone of a bridge after this conversation

**Pads**

Oh

Well

No Moons

You’re right

Not that I was being hypothetical

But that I’ve had experience with the post-shag ice cream

I didn’t even realise I’d said that

**Moons**

Right

Okay

Well

I’m not sure what to do with this information

**Pads**

Look

I’m sorry

It’s weird isn’t it

**Moons**

What?

**Pads**

That I did it and didn’t tell anyone

**Moons**

Oh

A bit tbh

But

You didn’t tell anyone?

Not even James?

**Pads**

Nope

And I would’ve told all of you

Not just James

**Moons**

But you didn’t tell anyone

**Pads**

No

**Moons**

Pads

Why?

**Pads**

I don’t know

It just sort of happened

And I haven’t spoken to that person since then

It just felt a bit odd to bring up

**Moons**

Right

Are you

Friends with this person?

**Pads**

Not really

They don’t go to our school

I met them at that party we went to in May

And we met up after that a few times

And then it happened

And we’ve just never got back in touch

No big deal really

**Moons**

Okay

**Pads**

It wasn’t bad

In case you thought it was bad

And that’s why I didn’t say anything

**Moons**

I wasn’t thinking that

Ngl Pads

I know you said it’s not a big deal

But I’m getting the sense

That it is a bit of a big deal

**Pads**

It is and it isn’t

Obvs it is

You know

That’s the big V gone forever

But at the same time

In the grand scheme of things

My virginity

Or lack thereof

Is highly unimportant

**Moons**

That’s certainly one way to think of it

Look Pads

I guess it was none of my business anyway

I’m sorry for bringing it up 

**Pads**

Don’t be sorry

I’m sorry for not saying anything

It is weird that I’ve kept it to myself

I’d be a bit fuming if any of you lost it

And I wasn’t made aware

To clarify...?

**Moons**

No I have not Pads

And it’s not that weird

A bit surprising

Since you wouldn’t shut up after you actually and miraculously snagged a kiss off Mary

But you’re not obligated to tell anyone about it

If anything

It’s quite nice you kept it to yourself

And didn’t flag it around like some massive achievement

**Pads**

Well

I am a gentleman

Sorry

**Moons**

Why are you apologising

**Pads**

Because what kind of weirdo doesn’t tell their best friends about his V loss

His vloss

If you will

**Moons**

Yeah let’s not make that a thing

And Sirius

I don’t care

I mean I do care

But you’re not obligated to tell anyone 

**Pads**

Well

Thanks

So

That was a conversation

**Moons**

It was

**Pads**

Can we keep this between us?

I know James will want an account of the whole thing

I feel shit keeping stuff from him

And Pete tbf

But I don’t want it to be a ‘thing’

**Moons**

Yeah of course

I guess

Thanks for telling me?

**Pads**

We’re not weird now are we?

**Moons**

No

We’re not weird Pads

Was the post-shag ice cream at least good?

**Pads**

Oh it was wonderful

Mint choc chip

Very satisfying

**Moons**

Nice

**Pads**

Uh oh

Dorcs says her nan is coming over for Sunday dinner

She’s appointed us to tidy

**Moons**

Well good luck with that

The house was not looking too sharp

When I left this morning

**Pads**

Well

You could’ve done a cup clean up on your way out

**Moons**

Sorry

Will do next time

**Pads**

You better

Cause now I have to do it :(

**Moons**

Poor you <3

Tbf Pads

Half of them are prob yours

**Pads**

You know

I can’t even argue

Fair point Moony

At least I’ve got to spend some time with my babies this morn

I think Po and Siri like me

**Moons**

I should hope so

You’re their uncle after all

**Pads**

That I am

I want to hold one :(

**Moons**

I think you can

Just not often

**Pads**

Yeah

I don’t want to hurt them

They’re just so cute

Their big eyes

And their little bellies!

**Moons**

Operation Frog 2.0?

**Pads**

Ha

Honestly

I don’t think I’d want my own

Even if I could look after them

Po and Siri have a special place in my heart

But I don’t think I’d love my own as much as them

**Moons**

Well

That’s a very mature consideration Pads

**Pads**

What can I say

I’m a mature considerate guy

Ah fuck

Dorcs is calling

She def knows I’ve done fuck all so far

**Moons**

I won’t keep you then

Dorcas is an adult now

Makes her a bit scarier

**Pads**

Tbh it acc does

Will you be scared of me

In 2 months time?

**Moons**

No Sirius

I will not

You’re a puppy

**Pads**

You know

I will be taking that as a compliment

Thank you

**Moons**

In that case

No problem

Now get off your arse

And go clean

**Pads**

I guess I’m off to clean then

**Moons**

Good dog

**Pads**

Woof

* * *

**Private Message**

**Lils**

Hey girly

Didn’t catch you this morn

Just checking

You had a good night?

**Marls**

Christ

What sort of time do you call this?

**Lils**

Please Marls

I still feel like shit

You know I came downstairs at Dorcas’s

And everyone clapped

I thought it was like 10am

Apparently

It was 2pm

**Marls**

No one does a post-sesh nap like you do Lils

But yes

I had a good night

You?

**Lils**

It was really fun

I mean

I spent half of it talking to the frogs with Sirius

‘Twas fun nonetheless

I hear you and James abandoned the party later on

**Marls**

There was no ‘abandoning’

We just went on a walk round the block

It was nice

Haven’t had a proper chat with him in ages

**Lils**

So...

**Marls**

So…?

**Lils**

You and James?

**Marls**

Sweet Pete

Please don’t tell me you’re insinuating

What I think you’re insinuating

**Lils**

Well!

You know James

He’s never left a party early in his life

Come to think of it Marls

Neither of you!

**Marls**

Lily

We had a conversation

You had a conversation with him too

**Lils**

Yeah but

It was small talk mostly

And soon enough I was back to obliterating Come On Eileen

**Marls**

Don’t sell yourself so short Lils

I thought your rendition

Was pretty okay

**Lils**

Thanks xx

Back to what I was saying

I personally don’t think

That James Potter

Is a causal walk and talk kind of guy

**Marls**

What does that even mean

**Lils**

It means

That he wanted some time alone

With one Marlene McKinnon

**Marls**

You’re a complete lunatic

**Lils**

I think I’m right

**Marls**

You’re forgetting one crucial detail here

That one James Potter

Is hopelessly in love 

With one Lily Evans

**Lils**

He’s never been in love with me

And besides

I really don’t think he’s interested anymore

I haven’t heard one stupid pick up line

Since the beginning of summer

**Marls**

Because he’s changed Lily

He’s realised that acting like an absolute tit 

Obvs wasn’t getting him anywhere

**Lils**

Or

He likes someone else?

**Marls**

You know

I’m not encouraging this discussion any further

Love oo Lils

But you are mad.

**Lils**

Sound a little defensive there Marls

**Marls**

Sod off xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marl**

James

It seems we have been presented 

With a bit of an issue

**Jame**

?? What issue?

**Marl**

Lily thinks we fancy each other

Well

At least she thinks you fancy me

**Jame**

What?!

Is she mad?

No offence obvs Marl

You’re lovely and all

**Marl**

Not the time for flattery Potter

**Jame**

So

I act interested

And she can’t stand to be around me

I try to not act interested

And now she thinks I don’t care anymore?

I can’t bloody win

Maybe I need to start up the daily pick up lines again

**Marl**

You absolutely do not

Look

I don’t want to talk about her behind her back

But considering me and you have been friends for years

I think it’s a bit odd that she’d assume this

After one conversation

I understand why she thinks you’ve backed off a bit

But then jumping to the conclusion that that must mean you fancy me?

**Jame**

Yeah…

It is a bit far fetched

I don’t act like I fancy you do I?

Cause if so

I really need to reevaluate the way I talk to girls

**Marl**

Nah

I don’t know where she got that from

She has mentioned a few times though

That she doesn’t think you fancy her anymore

**Jame**

Is that a bad thing?

**Marl**

Well

It means you’re not making it majorly fucking obvious anymore

Which I reckon can’t be a bad thing

**Jame**

Right…

So

What the hell do I do then?

I’m running out of way

To carry out my courtship :(

**Marls**

There there Jame

Honestly

I think it’d be best

If we went back to square one

**Jame**

...

**Marl**

What do you like about Lily?

**Jame**

??

Well

She’s nice

And confident

And she’s smart

And funny

And obvs gorgeous

**Marl**

As sweet as that is

That’s very surface level stuff

I bet you don’t know her favourite colour

Or her biggest fear

Or which Monster High doll was her favourite growing up

Or her favourite Taylor Swift song

**Jame**

Would it be beneficial for me

To know all of this??

**Marl**

Yes

Because surprisingly

Getting to know someone

Is a common first step in budding relationships

But it’s not even about knowing it

It’s about her feeling comfortable enough to share all this stuff about herself 

And you don’t get that from telling her she’s fit as a fiddle

**Jame**

That was one time!

**Marl**

James

I told you yesterday

You need to make an effort

A proper effort

Unless you have gone off her

Don’t go after her just because you think she’s fit

I will deck you

**Jame**

Of course I wouldn’t!

Marlene

I really do fancy her still

Really really

And I want to make an effort

But being a try-hard had got me fucking nowhere for years!

**Marl**

Hun

You’re making this way harder than it needs to be

You’re friends now, right?

Start there

Dorcas and Emmeline started out as friends

So did Mary and Ben

Just stop trying to jump straight into the deep end

Nobody wants anyone jumping straight into their deep end

**Jame**

Is that some sort of euphemism?

**Marl**

Tell me you’re actually considering what I’m saying

Or I’ll kick you in your deep end

**Jame**

Alright alright

I am Marl

I can do that

Be friends first

I want to know all that stuff

You know

Her favourite Monster High doll and that

**Marl**

That’s the spirit J

Just keep doing what you’re doing

The whole no longer being a tit thing

**Jame**

Is this the approach you’re using then?

With your mystery monsieur?

**Marl**

I knew you’d find a way to bring that up

And no

I’m in a completely different situation

**Jame**

You should’ve invited them to D’s last night

Could’ve been fun

**Marl**

If I did that

They would’ve brought their girlfriend

And why James

Would I want that

**Jame**

Fair enough

I’m not trying to turn you into a homewrecker

But like I said

Whoever he is

They’re missing out with you Marl

**Marl**

Ugh

Are you sure you don’t fancy me

**Jame**

Ha ha

**Marl**

Really though

Thanks Jame

But it’s prob best

To leave that situation as it is

**Jame**

If you say so

But don’t completely give up hope!

You never know

He might get his heart broken

And that’s where you swoop in

And piece it back together

**Marl**

Idk what romcom you’re living in

But I live in the real world J

Where there’ll be none of that

**Jame**

Well

Not with that attitude

You need to romanticise your life Marl 

It can be a romcom

If you make it a romcom

**Marl**

So that’s what your strategy has been then

**Jame**

Well now that I think about it

I am a bit of a Hugh Grant aren’t I

I endure my fair share of obstacles

But by the end of the film

I always get the girl ;)

**Marl**

Well my friend

This film

Is pretty bloody long

Though we seemed to have moved on from you (Hugh) being an awkward idiot

So maybe we’re getting somewhere

**Jame**

That’s more like it!

Love a bit of Hugh

Might stick him on later

Four Weddings and a Funeral?

Notting Hill perhaps?

**Marl**

Def Notting Hill

Love a bit of Julia Roberts

**Jame**

Ah me too

Might force Sirius to come watch

Though

He’s more of a Colin Firth guy

**Marl**

We all know he loves a bit of Mamma Mia

I get that

Lily’s quite a Jude Law gal

She watches The Holiday religiously

**Jame**

I’ve never seen it!

**Marl**

Oh

Def get on that

Okay I’ve just told you her favourite film

That’s practically cheating the system

The system being Operation Jily

**Jame**

Operation Jily

Love that

I will use this free hint wisely :)

**Marl**

You better

I am actually rooting for you two

Now that you’re not a giant prat

**Jame**

Aww thanks Marl 

By any chance

Do you know

Mystery Monsieur’s fave film?

**Marl**

I do

**Jame**

Christ

You’re being so secretive!

At least tell me what it is

**Marl**

Nah

**Jame**

Marllll

How about

For every one thing I learn about Lily

You tell me about MM?

**Marl**

I can’t believe they’ve taken up this code name

And no!

You’re meant to be getting to know her properly

Not just so you can nose into my business

**Jame**

You know I wouldn’t do that

It was just a suggestion

**Marl**

Ugh

Sorry

I know you wouldn’t

Fine then

**Jame**

Great!

**Marl**

Great

Now go on

I think my social battery has died

Solely from this conversation

Enjoy your dose of Hugh

**Jame**

Always do

And thanks Marlene

Really <3 <3

**Marl**

Yeah yeah

Xxx

* * *

**the plastics**

**Moony**

Hey

I never found out what happened to Pete

At the party

**Wormtail**

Please Remus

It’s still too soon

**Padfoot**

Oh go on Petey

Tell him!

It’s hilarious

Can I tell him??

**Wormtail**

No!

**Moony**

I’m dying to know

If anything Pete

I am the least judgmental one in this gc

**Prongs**

Excuse me

Are you forgetting who stood up for you and your cardigans Moony

**Moony**

Fair play

Still

It won’t ever be mentioned again after this

I promise

**Wormtail**

Alright

But never again will I be reminded of this

Ever

**Padfoot**

Go on Wormy

**Wormtail**

So

Basically

I went for a piss

In the bathroom

Obvs

**Moony**

Good start

**Wormtail**

Shhh

And when I walked in

There was already someone in there

Not like pissing or anything

Sat on the side of the bath

This girl

Bertha

And she’s in my physics

So I ask her what she’s doing

You know

Alone in the bathroom

And then she says

‘I want us to have sex’

**Moony**

What!

**Wormtail**

And I said ‘okay’

**Padfoot**

Wait for it Moons!!

**Wormtail**

And then she said ‘what?’

And then I said ‘okay, let’s have sex’

Except

She didn’t say ‘I want us to have sex’

She said ‘I’m hiding from my ex’

Though over the music

It was VERY easy to mishear

And then she poured her drink down my top

And left

**Moony**

Sweet Pete

**Wormtail**

Also

Not a fan of that phrase

**Moony**

Sweet bloody Pete

That’s

That’s traumatising

**Wormtail**

Yeah :/

**Padfoot**

It’s so fucking funny though

I just

What is wrong with you???

**Wormtail**

Yeah yeah I’m a massive tosser

Can we get to the part

Where we never mention this again?

Please?

**Prongs**

Come on lads

It’s pretty fucking brutal

Let him mourn his dignity now

**Moony**

Well

Thanks for telling me

**Wormtail**

Yeah

I’m going to bed now

**Padfoot**

Night then Wormy

Dream lovely dreams

Of bathrooms and Bertha Jorkins

**Wormtail**

Piss off Sirius

**Padfoot**

Sorry

I’ll acc stop now

**Prongs**

I can hear him cackling

**Moony**

Pads

**Padfoot**

Stop exposing me!

I can’t help it

It’s just so

So unfortunate

Sorry Wormy

You’ll get over it

**Wormtail**

Hm

**Padfoot**

Night Worm

I’m heading in as well

**Prongs**

No you’re not

I can hear fucking Mamma Mia from here

**Moony**

It’s nearly midnight

And you’ve stuck on Mamma Mia

I mean

**Padfoot**

Nothing wrong

With a bit of Colin Firth

To finish off the day

**Moony**

Can’t argue with that

More of a Pierce Brosnan guy myself though

**Padfoot**

Ugh

Can’t fault you there

Anyway

Get to sleep chums

So I can watch my movie

In peace

**Moony**

Sorry to disturb

Enjoy xx

**Padfoot**

Thank xxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would just like to put out there that hugh grant is the loml, thank you


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks of university.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing everyone stressed about uni is honestly a form of catharsis

**uptown girls**

**Mary**

Is it just my teachers

Or have they all suddenly started banging on about uni?

I mean

It’s just so early!

**Marls**

Same here

Gives me a major headache

**Mary**

Med students have to apply early apparently

I’ve started looking at places today

I just wish I had a clue where I want to go :(

**Dorcas**

Would it be selfish

To tell you to stay here?

**Mary**

Well

London does have good schools

**Dorcas**

Get yourself to Oxford girl

Bet you could get in as well

**Mary**

Hahaha

I don’t think so

Medicine is competitive enough without the added competitiveness of Oxford

It would be nice though

**Marls**

Think of all the poshos going though

**Mary**

I was thinking that tbh

Ben’s brother went to Durham

And he said it reeked of classism

I don’t want to let something like that affect where I go

But

**Lils**

I’d try not to think about that Mary

I’m sure if you did go somewhere like Oxford

Which you could TOTALLY get into

You’d find good people there

If anyone can make good friends

It’s you

**Mary**

Thanks Lils

Though

I’m not sure if you’re complimenting me

Or the fact that I chose you guys as friends

**Dorcas**

Both

Obvs 

Besides

You’re an uptown girl at heart Mary

**Mary**

I know I know

I’ll have to get looking for courses though

Do you guys know what you’re doing?

**Dorcas**

I’ll prob look for media courses

Or film

Not sure yet

Wouldn’t mind a gap year though

**Marls**

God I have no clue

The gap year does sound perfect though

**Mary**

You do know

It’s a gap year

Not a nap year

**Marls**

Ha

I do know that thank you Mary

Idk what I’d do for a year

But if I don’t fancy uni

**Mary**

Oh yeah

Uni def isn’t your only choice

**Marls**

There’s just too many choices

I literally struggle picking

What I want for breakfast in the morn

**Dorcas**

Oh Marlsy

You’ll find something

**Lils**

The application deadline isn’t til January anyway

You have loads of time

**Mary**

What’s your plan then Lils?

**Lils**

Either psychology or sociology at uni I think

I know I’d like a job in either one

You know

Helping people

**Dorcas**

Ahh Lils

You say that

And then ignore the art gc

When Siri and I are in dire need of your assistance

**Lils**

I really don’t think that’s relevant D

Considering the ‘assistance’ you want is my written work to copy from

**Dorcas**

Because the writing is so booooring

I have better things to be doing

Than writing up that shite

**Lils**

You’re ridiculous

Have you started your personal statement Mary?

I’m getting nowhere fast with mine

**Mary**

I guess I’m at a bit of an advantage

I started mine last year

**Dorcas**

I swear

All people going into medicine

Have known they wanted to do medicine

Since they came out of the womb

**Mary**

Tbh

That’s true

I’ve always wanted to be a nurse

**Dorcas**

Well Mary

When Lily’s liver finally fails

You can be the one sorting that out

**Marls**

Omfg

**Lils**

Oh sod off

I am not that bad!

**Dorcas**

You’re honestly the worst out of our group

At least Sirius has a bit of a tolerance

You LOOK at a bottle of vodka and start stumbling

**Lils**

You know

I thought we were talking about university

**Mary**

The fact that you haven’t built up a tolerance Lils

Is astounding

**Lils**

I only drink at parties!

That’s why everyone said no to that bender over the summer Dorcs

It would’ve killed me off

**Dorcas**

It would’ve

We still need to have a bender though

If you can’t handle it Lils

That’s simply not my issue

**Lils**

Well then

If you suddenly happen

To lose your Hozier ticket

That’s simply not my issue either :)

**Dorcas**

You WOULDN’T

**Lils**

Oh

I would

**Dorcas**

Feels a bit homophobic ngl

**Lils**

Dorcas

Don’t

**Dorcas**

Hahahah

I said that to James the other day

You should’ve seen his face

Thought he was about to faint

**Marls**

You know you can’t do that to J

Bet he’s still thinking about it

**Dorcas**

I felt so bad after

Def thought he was gonna cry

Bless his soul

He is the ultimate ally

I bet he’s a hoot in sociology Lils

**Lils**

He does love a good debate

Always willing to fight anyone

That remotely defends the patriarchy

**Dorcas**

As he should be

Who the fuck is defending the patriarchy?

**Lils**

Avery

Mulciber

I don’t know why they took the class

When they’re everything that ends in -ist or -ic

**Dorcas**

At least their evil triplet didn’t take it

Throwback to him though

Totally forget he existed

Until now

**Lils**

Tbh

Same

Didn’t need the reminder

**Dorcas**

Lmao

Sorry Lils

Remember in year 8 though

When you would FORCE us to sit with him for lunch

What a time

**Mary**

That was awful

He just death stared us the whole time

**Lils**

Guys

Can we not talk about him

I’d rather talk about literally anything else

**Dorcas**

Okie dokie

Does anyone fancy nipping into town tomorrow after school

It’s Ems birthday next week

And I need a prezzie

I will provide a Pret

**Mary**

Ahhh I wish I could

I love buying presents for people

I’m working tomorrow though

**Marls**

I can come?

**Lils**

Me too

I’d never say no to a Pret

**Dorcas**

Sorted xx

Will be thinking of you Mary

**Mary**

Appreciate it xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

So

Minnie pulled me out of a lesson today

Apparently saying to my tutor

That I might just find myself a rich silver fox after A Levels

Is inappropriate

And ‘frankly worrying’

**Moons**

She asked about your post A Level plans

And you said that

Pads

What the fuck

**Pads**

I thought it was rather funny

And I mean

Would it be so bad???

**Moons**

I really didn’t take you for a gold digger Sirius

**Pads**

Oh so if the opportunity presented itself

For you to run away

With a rich DILF

You would decline?

**Moons**

Depends

Is this rich DILF

Pierce Brosnan?

**Pads**

Yes

**Moons**

Consider me sold

**Pads**

Exactly Moony!

Everyone has a price

**Moons**

So what did Minnie say?

**Pads**

Oh

Well after I managed to swiftly move on from the silver fox comment

She wanted to know if I actually had a plan

If I was going to uni or anything

**Moons**

Well

Do you?

**Pads**

You see Moons

I am not a planning kind of guy

So no

I do not

**Moons**

From our several years of friendship

I’ve gathered that

But Sirius

University isn’t a ‘go when you feel like it’ thing

And if you don’t go

It’s important that you know what you’re doing instead

Even if it’s a gap year

**Pads**

You sound just like Minnie

I don’t like it

**Moons**

I’m just saying

**Pads**

Well what’s your plan then??

**Moons**

Well

I don’t have one

**Pads**

See!

**Moons**

Yet

I’m planning on making a plan

**Pads**

Well then

That’s what I’m doing

**Moons**

Are you now

**Pads**

Yes

See Remus

This is why I didn’t message the gc

Because James and Pete know exactly what they’re doing

They’ve planned their plan

**Moons**

And we’re going through the crisis 

Of planning the plan together?

**Pads**

Precisely :)

However

Minnie says if I don’t at least try to do some research

She actually can’t do anything

But she will be very cross

And tbh

It felt like a stab in the heart

**Moons**

Minnie pulling the guilt trip card

That’s brutal

She knows you’d drop everything for her

**Pads**

I would!

Can’t believe she’d use my kindness against me like this

**Moons**

So

You’re going to do some research then?

**Pads**

Reluctantly so

**Moons**

Its for the better Pads

Even if you don’t find anything you’re interested in yet

At least you can start ruling things out?

**Pads**

I guess so

It’d be weird though

If you all went to uni

And I didn’t

Even if only James went

You think Effie and Monty would still keep me?

**Moons**

Sirius

You’re not their pet

You’re their son

Of course they would

**Pads**

Oh Moony :)

Still

I’ve already been the hot mess of one family

I can’t reprise that role

Have I not had any character development since I turned 16?

**Moons**

I think you’re getting too ahead of yourself here

Do some research first?

You’re stressing now because you have no idea what your options are

Have a look into some before your noggin explodes first

**Pads**

Ugh

Where would I be without you Moonbeam

**Moons**

I think you’re giving me too much credit

James probably would’ve told you the same thing

**Pads**

James would’ve told me to do whatever the fuck I want

And if that fails

Then I have a permanent place

Wherever he ends up

**Moons**

You’ve def already had this convo

**Pads**

That we have

Where would I be without the Potters tbh

Probably dead in a ditch

**Moons**

Pads

**Pads**

I’m only joking!

Maybe

ANYWAY

I’m going in the bath

Mary got me these glittery bath bombs from her work

So I’m gonna try one

**Moons**

See

Why would you take a bath

With the primary goal of getting clean

Just to come out covered in glitter?

**Pads**

You’re such a Debby downer!

Bath bombs are great fun

**Moons**

I don’t agree

Also

A shower is just so much more efficient

In terms of time and water preservation

Baths go cold

And then you’re just sat in your own dirt

Or in your case

Your own dirt and glitter

**Pads**

You know Moony

I just don’t need this negativity

I’m going for my bath

Might use 2 bath bombs

Just because I can

**Moons**

You’re a maniac

**Pads**

Bye bye now Moony

**Moons**

Don’t drown then

**Pads**

I hope that wasn’t sarky :(

**Moons**

Course it wasn’t xx

**Pads**

Mmm xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love Island, Pret and a sprinkle of Jily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a filler but sweet nonetheless!

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Remus

With every potential gift Dorcas picks up

Has a solid five minute discussion with herself about whether Em would like it

Asks for our opinions on

Only to blatantly ignore them

Then goes ‘nah’ and puts it back down

My soul withers away

Just a little more

**Rems**

Oh Marls

**Marls**

It’s been better recently

You know

Since I talked to you about it

But sometimes it’s just shit

I don’t want to be a git but

Tbf

I don’t think she’ll notice me texting

She’s making Lily try all the sample chocolate at Thornton’s

I think we’ll get kicked out soon

**Rems**

Oh to be Lily right now

My mum used to do that all the time

And I’d tell her we’d get caught

But she’d just say it didn’t matter

Because ‘screw the economy’

**Marls**

As an economics student

How do you feel about that

**Rems**

Well

I doubt a few Thornton’s samples

Are going to break the economy

Plus

Fuck it

**Marls**

I love when you talk about economics

Why did you take it if you hate it??

**Rems**

Doesn’t everyone have that though

That one A Level that is the root of all their problems

**Marls**

Hm

Psychology is pretty shit honestly

Lily loves it

I guess I took it because I didn’t know what else to take

Plus my mum did it at A Level and uni

Think she would’ve bit my head off if I didn’t continue the tradition

**Rems**

Really?

I never knew that

You know

You’re quite the enigma Marls

**Marls**

Do you think?

**Rems**

Yes

I can’t even name your parents

And you know how good I am with names

**Marls**

I do know

Hm

You’ve met my mum though?

**Rems**

If by ‘met’ you mean I got half a smile as she fled from the house the moment I arrived

She seemed like she was on a mission

**Marls**

Ha

She does that

Somehow she’s always running late

**Rems**

Does she work in psychology then?

**Marls**

She’s a counsellor

Works for a local youth organisation

So she works with teenagers mostly

**Rems**

Interesting

I bet she’s good for advice

**Marls**

Well

You would think

Sometimes though

I feel like she tries to psychoanalyse me

Like she goes into counsellor mode around me

Which I don’t like

**Rems**

Ahh

I can imagine that’s not great

**Marls**

Yeah

We get on but

Think I’d rather die

Than show emotion around her

**Rems**

Fair enough

Still don’t know her name

**Marls**

It’ll bother you if I don’t tell you won’t it?

**Rems**

Immensely

**Marls**

Haha

It’s Helena

**Rems**

Thanks

**Marls**

No prob

What are you up to anyway

**Rems**

Nothing really

**Marls**

Well aren’t you an interesting bugger

Oh shit

**Rems**

??

**Marls**

No way have we just seen James coming out of Specsavers

Dorcas is yelling for him

**Rems**

Oh Christ

He did say he was getting some new glasses

**Marls**

Ahh really?

I quite like the ones he has now

**Rems**

Oh no they’ll be the exact same

He’s been getting ‘new glasses’ since he was 11

He can’t part with his classic specs

It’ll just be new lenses

**Marls**

Good

I’d never want him to

And he’s finally turned around

Wait

Fuck

Maybe this isn’t good

Did I tell you

**Rems**

Tell me what?

**Marls**

Oh shit

I never did did I

Basically

Ever since D’s party

Lily thinks that’s James has a thing for me

**Rems**

What??

**Marls**

And she hasn’t shut up about it since

**Rems**

And whereabouts were you hiding

This information??

Marls

This is

Mad

**Marls**

It was just one of those things Rems

Where I thought if I ignored the fuck out of it

It would go away

But Lily Evans is one stubborn girl

**Rems**

I don’t understand though

She knows James is utterly smitten with her

**Marls**

I am also muchly confused Rems

She’s so insistent on it though

Idk

Omfg she’s giving me a look

I am going to strangle that girl

I’m gonna have to go

**Rems**

Please don’t tell me you’re actually about to strangle Lily

**Marls**

No I am not

But Dorcs has finally noticed I haven’t said a word in twenty minutes

And she says she’ll confiscate my phone

So

**Rems**

Well

Dorcas isn’t one to make empty threats

Maybe you should talk to Lily though?

**Marls**

This is just a shitshow Remus

Idk

Honestly as soon as I get home

I’m having a fat kip

**Rems**

Good for you Marls

We can talk in history though yeah?

**Marls**

That sounds nice

See you tomorrow x

**Rems**

See you x

* * *

**the plastics**

**Padfoot**

Lads

We have a TRAITOR in our ranks

James Fleamont

What in the fresh hell are you doing

At Pret with the girls

Do us plastics

Mean nothing to you???

**Prongs**

Okay first of all

STOP STALKING THE SNAP MAP

Secondly

I was not about to turn down a free Pret!

Not really free since I’ve stuck a tenner in D’s bag

BUT STILL

It’s your fault you didn’t want to come to Specsavers with me

**Padfoot**

it would’ve been cruel of me to go

Flex my 20/20 vision like that

I’ll ’but still’ YOU

Bet you went for Evans

You absolute tool

**Prongs**

I went for the Pret!

And maybe the time with Evans was also a factor

**Padfoot**

You know

We should switch Mary out for you in this gc

Since you’ve obvs got new best friends

**Prongs**

You are so fucking dramatic

Stay jealous Pads x

You see how Moony and Wormy aren’t replying

You’re the only one who’s bothered mate <3

**Padfoot**

I’m sitting at home

Waiting for you to come back

And you’re out having a Pret!

Thought we were binge watching Love Island for the night :(

**Moony**

Ahh Prongs

You know how much he loves Love Island

**Prongs**

Okay Padfoo

I’m sorry

I’ll be home soon alright?

Just finishing my tea

And I’ll be back

**Padfoot**

Prong

Hurry home pls

**Wormtail**

Are you sure you two aren’t married

**Padfoot**

Oh I could never marry Prongs

Not while he’s sopping over Evans

Sometimes I feel like I’m third wheeling

And she’s not even here

**Moony**

That’s rough

**Padfoot**

Mhm

Come onnn Jamesy

There’s a recoupling this episode!

Very exciting stuff

Some would say

Even more exciting

Than a Pret

**Moony**

Pads

I think you’re suffering

From major FOMO

**Wormtail**

You wouldn’t be complaining if you’d just went with him tbh

**Padfoot**

You know

Can’t remember asking x

**Moony**

Okay

Stay pressed x

**Padfoot**

You sound like Dorcas

I don’t like it Moons

**Moony**

Ha

**Prongs**

Leaving now Padsy

Bringing you a croissant back

As a form of appeasement

**Padfoot**

Oh Prong

You are fine hubby material

Too bad you’re ugly

**Prongs**

You cheeky fucker

If we were a couple on Love Island

I’d def recouple with someone else

**Padfoot**

Ouch

Well I’d find a new beau in Casa Amor

**Prongs**

So you’d cheat on me??

That’s low

**Padfoot**

Think of this Pret trip as Casa Amor

You’ve already cheated on me :(

**Prongs**

You’re such a wanker

**Moony**

Can the lovely couple please argue outside of the gc

**Padfoot**

We’re upsetting the children Prongs!

Ugh

We’re terrible parents

**Prongs**

Sorry kids

I’ll make you a cuppa when I get in bb xx

**Padfoot**

Ahhh

Thanks babe xx

**Moony**

Glad that’s solved xx

**Padfoot**

Padfoo n Prong lov each other lot

**Wormtail**

You two are fucking weird

**Padfoot**

Fuck off xx

**Wormtail**

Gladly xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**James**

Hi Lily

Just messaging to make sure you got home okay?

**Lily**

Ahh

Thanks James

I got home okay

**James**

I really could’ve dropped you off

Would’ve saved you the taxi money

**Lily**

Don’t worry about it

The traffic was terrible

It would’ve been dark before you got home

Anyway

Saved you the extra petrol money

**James**

True true

Sirius would’ve killed me anyway

He’s been dying to catch up on Love Island since he got home

**Lily**

Did you not watch it in the summer

Like the rest of the UK?

**James**

I won’t lie

We refused to watch it back then

Just assumed it was pure rubbish

However

**Lily**

It’s actually extremely entertaining?

**James**

Exactly

**Lily**

I won’t lie

I was the exact same

Just thought it was drama drama drama

Which is actually what makes it so good

**James**

Literally!

Don’t think I’d fancy going on it myself though

Couldn’t part with my boys for that long

Even to find love

**Lily**

I can imagine it’d be difficult

Does anybody really go on there for love though

**James**

Well if I was going on

I would purely

To show off my hot bod 

**Lily**

Obviously

But if you’ve got no chat James

You prob won’t get very far

You can’t be the sod that leaves first

**James**

Well

It’s a good job I have great chat then!

I’d def be the fan favourite 

**Lily**

You know the fan favourite

Is usually the one that never actually finds love

And eventually gets kicked off?

**James**

That’s fine

As long as I’m missed dearly

I’ll still get some sort of brand deal once I leave

And that’s my uni debt sorted

**Lily**

Hahaha

That’s not a terrible idea

So we’ll be seeing you on Love Island next summer then?

**James**

Perhaps :)

**Lily**

Will look forward to it

**James**

Sirius is huffing because I’m not concentrating

Will have to depart

This afternoon was nice

The Pret was lovely

**Lily**

The Pret was exquisite

And it was fun

You’re alright sometimes I guess

**James**

Wow

I’m screenshotting this

Lily Evans doesn’t think I’m a daft toerag??

**Lily**

I can amend that statement very quickly James

I wouldn’t push it

**James**

I won’t I won’t

Right

Well

See you tomorrow then?

**Lily**

See you tomorrow James

**James**

:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> operation jily is (sort of) a-go :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More university talk, Peter has a potential new lover, and Lily dreads an upcoming date.

**dumplings**

**Mary**

Hey guys

Ben is having a party next week!

If you all could come

That would be amaze xx

**Dorcas**

OMG

I love Ben’s house

Tell me he still has that drum set??

**Mary**

He does

He actually specified

That the drum set would be off limits to everyone

Sorry Dorcs

**Dorcas**

What!

But I bashed the drums last time!!

**Mary**

You did

But not in the way you’re thinking babe

**James**

Didn’t you break one of the drums last time D

Bahahaha

**Dorcas**

Look

I felt SO bad about that after

I offered to pay to get it repaired!!

**Mary**

It’s okay

Just this time

The drums are off limits

**Sirius**

Ffs Dorcas

You didn’t let me have a go last time!

Now I won’t ever get one :(

**Remus**

I had no idea we all cared about drums so much??

**Sirius**

They’re just so fun to play!

**Dorcas**

Literally

Bashing them is just

SO cathartic

**Lily**

What day next week Mary?

**Mary**

Saturday

**Lily**

Ffs

I can’t make it

**Dorcas**

Noooo

Call the whole thing off

We can’t have a party without you Lils!

**Lily**

You’re weren’t saying that

When you were planning that bender without me

**Dorcas**

Just because we’d have it without you

It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t miss you 

Why can’t you come??

**Lily**

Family meal

Can’t get out of it

**Mary**

Don’t worry about it Lils

Wish you could be there though

**Marlene**

Tbf

This is one party

Out of the 7263738 we’ll prob have this year

**Sirius**

Very true

We still have the Halloween one to go guys!

**Mary**

Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves guys

So

Is everyone coming?

Pete?

**Pete**

Yep

**Dorcas**

Surprised you’re not still traumatised tbh Pete

**Pete**

Well

I’ve been trying not to think about it Dorcas

**Marlene**

Dorcas you sod

**Dorcas**

LMAO sorry P

I just

I’m not over it

**Pete**

Yeah well

Imagine how I feel

**Dorcas**

Stop it

I feel bad for bringing it up now!

**Pete**

Stop talking about it then!

**James**

Now now kids

Leave Pete alone

We’ve all agreed to leave that occurrence in the past

However

I have to ask

With Bertha be there?

**Mary**

I think so

She’s in Ben’s English lang

**Sirius**

Hahaha

You gonna be okay Wormy??

**Pete**

Don’t really have a choice do I :/

**Mary**

OMG I forgot to mention Pete

Ben’s cousin is coming down from Nottingham next weekend

And I totally think you two would get on!!

**James**

Yes Macs!!

I’m well excited now

**Pete**

Oh Christ

What’s she like?

**Mary**

Her name is Mara

She’s doing her A Levels up in Notts obvs

LOVES physics

**Sirius**

Omg

PETE LOVES PHYSICS TOO

**Pete**

Please don’t tell me this is the only factor making us apparently compatible

**Mary**

She’s super sweet!

And she’s gorgeous

Like

If Amanda Seyfried and Emma Stone had a baby

**Pete**

Wow

**Sirius**

And she wants a bit of Pete?

Wow indeed

**Lily**

Don’t be a dick Sirius

I’m sure she’ll love you P

**Mary**

Ben thinks she will

Ahhh I’m excited for you Pete!

**Pete**

Can we not get our hopes up guys

**James**

Hopes are up Wormy!

**Pete**

Ffs

**Dorcas**

Don’t be miserable Pete

You’ll have 6 wingpeople there

To make sure you GET SOME

**Mary**

Dorcas!

This isn’t a plan to get Pete a quick shag!

**Pete**

Guys

**James**

Hahaha

Seriously though

We all know Pete’s a massive softie

They’re gonna have a nice heart to heart aren’t they Macs?

**Mary**

Exactly James

**Remus**

Mary

You probably should’ve texted this to Pete privately

Lads gc is going nuts

**Mary**

Sorry Pete!

I guess I’ll let Ben know you’re all excited?

**Sirius**

Very much so ;)

* * *

**the plastics**

**Padfoot**

PETE

So

What’s the couple name eh?

Meter?

Para?

Para’s quite cool

**Prongs**

Para 4 life

**Wormtail**

I literally hate you all

**Moony**

Hey!

**Wormtail**

You are doing nothing to de-escalate the conversation Remus

**Prongs**

You know we’re just messing Wormy

Seriously

I hope you and her do get on

**Wormtail**

Me too

She sounds nice I guess

**Padfoot**

Bertha will def be wishing she got some of you last time Petey

**Wormtail**

Fuck off Sirius

**Padfoot**

I’m just saying!

We always want what we can’t have

Take Prongs for example

**Prongs**

Ahh fuck off

**Moony**

That was low Pads

**Prongs**

I’m gonna come and tackle you

**Padfoot**

Noooo I’ve just burritoed myself!

Prongs I swearksbdjdk

IM BRINF ATTCKD

**Wormtail**

Poor you.

**Moony**

Anyway

I am too happy for you Pete

**Wormtail**

Thanks Remus

**Moony**

Para 4 life

**Wormtail**

Ugh

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Hey Lils

Can we quickly talk about something?

**Lils**

Of course

Is everything okay?

**Marls**

Everything’s fine

I guess I’ll just say it

It’s nothing bad

**Lils**

Marls…

**Marls**

It’s just about the James thing

It was a bit funny when you first brought it up

And if you really think he fancies me then I guess I can’t change your mind

But there really is nothing going on

And there never will be

And I guess I’m just asking if we can drop it?

**Lils**

Oh

I didn’t realise it bothered you so much

**Marls**

It’s not that it bothers me

Okay yes it does bother me

Only because I know it’s so ridiculous Lils

But I just don’t like the suggestive looks

Whenever he’s around?

**Lils**

I’m sorry Marls

We can drop it

I don’t know

Maybe I’m completely wrong

I just thought there was maybe something?

**Marls**

I’ll be honest Lils

I have no idea where you got that from

I’ve left parties with Remus loads of times

And once me and Pete went and got a kebab and walked round the block from James’s

But with James you thought it was something different?

**Lils**

Like I said

I don’t know

But obvs if it’s nothing

We can drop it

**Marls**

Okay then

Good

Are we okay?

**Lils**

We’re okay

Sorry again

I didn’t realise it annoyed you

**Marls**

Not really

I guess it’s like when D used to pester you about James until you finally got her to drop it

**Lils**

I guess

**Marls**

Lils

I’m not having a go at you or anything

**Lils**

I know!

We are okay Marls

Thanks for telling me

**Marls**

Alrighty then

Love oo Lils xx

**Lils**

Love oo lots xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Okay

I talked to Lily

I think we’re okay now

**Rems**

That’s good

So she just dropped it?

**Marls**

Basically

Honestly

I feel like there’s more to it

I said I thought it was a bit odd that out of everyone

She thought me and James had a thing

But she kind of just said she didn’t know where it came from

But I guess if she says we’re okay

I should just leave it?

**Rems**

That’s probably better to do for now

I’m sure she’ll tell you if there’s something else going on

**Marls**

I hope so

Anyway

Excited for Ben’s?

**Rems**

I am

You?

**Marls**

It’ll be fun I think

I regret not getting pissed at D’s tbh

**Rems**

Sometimes I worry about us Marls

I was thinking the exact same thing

**Marls**

A Level stress hitting now?

**Rems**

Along with uni stress?

Very much so

**Marls**

Ugh

I hate talking about uni

But while we’re on the topic

You have a plan yet?

**Rems**

Nope

**Marls**

Glad we’re in the same boat

Let’s stop talking about it now

**Rems**

Let’s

My tutor does keep emailing me though

It’s frustrating

The woman is so nice

But if she could leave me to have a crisis in peace

That would be lovely

**Marls**

Literally

Except replace your tutor with Dorcas

She asks me for an update every day

I think she thinks we’re all going to abandon London

**Rems**

She wants to stay in London?

**Marls**

I think so

All of her family’s down here

**Rems**

Fair enough

I don’t think my mum’s keen on me leaving either

**Marls**

My mum’s the complete opposite

Don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing

**Rems**

Trust me

My dad’s the same way 

I almost want to stay here out of spite

**Marls**

Ha

Same honestly

Maybe even just not apply to uni

Just to be a sod

**Rems**

It’s so tempting

But I’m not trying to get murdered before my 18th

**Marls**

I swear we might actually be the same person Rems

How are we living the exact same life?

You’re only missing the gay freak out and the fat useless crush on your best friend

**Rems**

Ha

I guess so

**Marls**

I can make jokes out of it now though

Which I guess is good progress

**Rems**

I can sense you holding them in around other people

**Marls**

It’s truly painful

Ah fuck

Mum’s ringing

And I’ve forgot to put the chicken in the oven

If you never hear from me again

Just go on and tell everyone I was so incredibly gay

I refuse to let everyone’s memory of me be even remotely heterosexual

**Rems**

I’ll make sure to Marls xx

**Marls**

You’re a real one Rems xx

* * *

**uptown girls**

**Lils**

So guys

Apparently the family dinner

Is not a family dinner at ALL

That was a ploy to draw me into going on a double date with my sister

And her repulsive boyfriend

**Mary**

Oh no

Who’s your date then??

**Lils**

That’s the worst part

It’s one of bloody Vernon’s friends

**Marls**

Yack

If he’s anything like Vernon

I’m praying for you babe

**Dorcas**

Sweet Pete

That sounds bloody awful

Why is she making you go??

**Lils**

It’s one of his old friends from school I think

He wants to secure some sort of business partnership??

And Petunia thinks by bringing me along to sweeten him up

He’s got a better chance

**Marls**

That’s terrible Lils

Won’t he be Vernon’s age?

**Lils**

Yep

**Mary**

That’s horrible

I’m sorry Lily

**Dorcas**

You know if Vernon’s knee caps happened to be bashed in with a mallet

The dinner prob won’t happen

If you’re picking up what I’m putting down

**Lils**

Yes Dorcs

I am

Not trying to get you done for GBH though

**Dorcas**

Ugh

That Vernon is a right creep

**Mary**

Do you really have to go?

**Dorcas**

Yeah Lil

I would def just refuse to go

**Lils**

Look guys

I know we’re all not massive fans of my sister

**Marls**

You’ve got that right Lils

**Lils**

She obviously can’t make me go

But it’s hard enough living with her anyway

Last time we got in an argument

She crushed up one of my eyeshadow palettes

And dumped the powder all over my carpet

It’s still stained

And it looks awful 

**Mary**

What?!

**Marls**

I would’ve kicked the fuck off

**Dorcas**

I would’ve pushed her out a window

Not even joking

**Lils**

It was terrible 

And as much as I hate letting her get her own way

It’s just easier than facing her shit later on

**Marls**

That is so awful

**Lils**

Yeah

I guess I’ll get a free meal out of it

**Mary**

Oh Lils

You won’t be out all night will you?

You could make it to Ben’s for the last hour or so

**Lils**

I think after a dinner with them

I’ll need a nice nap

**Mary**

True

We can do something on the Sunday?

I don’t like the idea of seeing everyone but you next week

**Lils**

Ahh Mary <3

That sounds nice

**Dorcas**

OMFG can we go to that new roller skating place??

I’ve been dying to go!

**Lils**

Omg

That sounds mint

**Marls**

I’m in

**Mary**

Same!

**Dorcas**

I’ll book us in for Sunday

See Lilith

Every cloud has a silver lining

**Lils**

I guess

Love you girls xx

**Mary**

Big love xx

**Dorcas**

If you were all here

I’d give you all a fat smooch xx

**Marls**

Nice xx

**Dorcas**

Don’t pretend you wouldn’t love it Marlsy xx

**Marls**

Right xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pots**

So were you just not going to tell me

The uni deadline for med students

Is in five fucking days????

**Macs**

Did you not already know this?

James

Have you not started your application at all?

**Pots**

No???

Nobody told me!

**Macs**

Oh my lord

I’m just putting in my last uni choices

Have you started your personal statement?

**Pots**

Have we not just established that I’ve not started anything??

**Macs**

James

You are so screwed

**Pots**

That’s very cynical of you Macs

I’m obvs still applying!

**Macs**

Have you talked to your tutor?

**Pots**

Yeah

They’re a bit fuming

But they said if I somehow manage to whip up a personal statement in 5 days

I might be alright

**Macs**

Didn’t you draft one last year?

**Pots**

Please stop asking so many questions

Look

Can you please help me?

I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t struggling

But I have no clue where to start

**Macs**

Of course I’ll help

It’s a bit short notice mind

**Pots**

Yeah yeah I know :(

**Macs**

It’s alright Pots

Are you doing anything after chem tomorrow?

Me and Lils were going to study for a bit at mine and order a pizza in

You’re more than welcome to join

**Pots**

Ahh Macs

You are my fave person ever

It’d be my pleasure

The other girls not coming?

**Macs**

Lily’s at mine after school most days anyway

M and D will prob be doing their own thing

Is that alright?

**Pots**

That’s perfect!

**Macs**

I hope Lily’s presence won’t distract you from your personal statement mind

We don’t have time to waste

**Pots**

You underestimate my willpower Mary

However

Her beauty is very distracting

**Macs**

Ahh

You’re such a sweetheart

**Pots**

I know I know :)

Thanks though Mary

It’ll be a great help

**Macs**

Of course

**Pots**

<3 <3

* * *

**Private Message**

**Mary**

Hey Lils

Just to let you know

James is coming back with us tomorrow

**Lily**

Oh really

Does he need babysitting?

**Mary**

Ha

He needs help with his uni application

**Lily**

He hasn’t started yet?

Christ

**Mary**

The sod didn’t realise the deadline was Friday

I think we can get a good application finished for then though

**Lily**

I don’t doubt that if you’re helping him M

**Mary**

Ahhh you xx

Is that okay then?

**Lily**

James coming back?

That’s totally fine

**Mary**

Good!

It’ll be fun

**Lily**

I’m sure


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some after school antics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i’m not sure if i need to establish this but as of rn dorcas is the only openly gay person in the group! sirius and remus are very much in the early stages of figuring stuff out, so yeah!

**Private Message**

**Pads**

So

We’re totally doing prinks at yours for Ben’s?

**Moons**

Sirius

**Pads**

Moonyyy

Please?

It’ll be a blast

**Moons**

I don’t doubt that Pads

I think my parents will be home though

**Pads**

That’s fine!

The more the merrier

**Moons**

Sirius

You know how my dad is

He’s not going to let you in our house with a bottle of vodka in both hands

**Pads**

But Moony

I really want to go to yours

**Moons**

Yeah well

Can’t always get what we want can we?

**Pads**

I guess not then

**Moons**

Pre’s at yours instead?

**Pads**

Okay

**Moons**

Pads

I didn’t mean that to come off arsey

But it’ll just cause another argument if you all turn up to mine with drink

Sorry

**Pads**

Don’t be sorry

I’m sorry

I don’t want to cause any issues

**Moons**

It would be him causing the issue Pads

You understand though?

**Pads**

Yeah I understand

**Moons**

Maybe one day when my dad’s at work

You can all come over?

Mum won’t mind

**Pads**

That’d be great

Can I still bring voddy

**Moons**

If it’s not a week night

**Pads**

Ugh

Fine

**Moons**

Don’t be too disappointed

**Pads**

Only joking Moons

I’ll be ready to pop over whenever you are

**Moons**

I still don’t understand why it’s so important

**Pads**

Think of it as a bonding experience

Plus

I haven’t had a proper snoop through your bedroom yet!

I love snooping in people’s rooms

You know Dorcas has a rock collection??

And Mary has a Harry Styles shrine in her wardrobe

I need to know what obscure shit you have in your room Moons

**Moons**

Well

It’s certainly not a rock collection

Or a Harry Styles shrine

**Pads**

Harry does seem a bit too modern for your taste

Maybe a Bowie shrine?

Mick Jagger?

**Moons**

Why are you assuming I have a shrine?

Do you have a shrine??

**Pads**

Doesn’t everyone???

**Moons**

No???

What’s yours?

**Pads**

Well you’re making it sound like it’s abnormal!

Don’t want to tell you now :(

**Moons**

I mean I don’t know if I’d categorise shrines as normal things Pads

But I’m curious now

**Pads**

Ughhh

Fine

I have a Freddie Mercury shrine

**Moons**

You have a Freddie Mercury shrine

**Pads**

Yes

**Moons**

Okay

Why exactly?

**Pads**

Because Moony

Freddie Mercury is a dream

He is the moment

And I love him dearly

**Moons**

Ahh

I know you love Queen

Didn’t expect the shrine though

Do you also keep it in your wardrobe?

**Pads**

It is in my wardrobe yes

I was thinking of just moving it to the wall above my bed tbh

I’m running out of room

**Moons**

If you do that

Then where will you put your frog portrait?

**Pads**

Very true

That’s nearly finished by the way

**Moons**

Really?

That’s great Pads

Can I see?

**Pads**

Yeah

Well no

Not yet!

Not until it’s done

**Moons**

Alrighty

**Pads**

Alrighty

So

You’ll sort out a day for us to come over then???

**Moons**

Ugh

Yes I will Pads

**Pads**

Marvellous

I much look forward to it

**Moons**

Mm

* * *

**after school club**

**_Mary_ ** _added_ **_James_ ** _and_ **_Lily_ ** _to the chat._

**Mary**

Ahh I love when new gc’s are birthed

Just messaging to say I can pick you both up this morning?

And S if he needs a lift

Just so your school parking fee isn’t through the roof

**Lily**

That would be great Mary

Thanks xx

**James**

Ahh thanks Macs xx

S is fine with that

As long as you let him have the aux

**Mary**

Oh lord

What will he be playing this morn?

**James**

Well I can hear the Glee version of Smooth Criminal coming from his room

**Mary**

You know

He has taste

He can have the aux

**James**

Great stuff

**Mary**

See you both soon x

**James**

See you girlies x

**Lily**

See you M

And you Potter

**James**

:))))

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Soooo

Moons

Prongs is going to Mary’s later today and leaving me all on my lonesome

I was wonderinggg

If I could maybe come back to yours?

**Moons**

I don’t know Pads

**Pads**

I won’t make a dick out of myself in front of your dad Moons

If that’s what you’re worried about

But if I go back home I’ll have to take the bus

And the bus goes nowhere near my street

So then I’ll have to walk!

Which I reallyyy don’t want to do

**Moons**

It’s not you I’m worried about Pads

My dad’s home

I just don’t know what sort of mood he’s in today

**Pads**

Okay

It was just a suggestion Moony

**Moons**

I’m sorry

**Pads**

Don’t be!

I’m just being pushy again

I know I shouldn’t be

Moony??

**Moons**

Look

I think he’ll be in his office all day

I guess

You could come back to mine

For a little while

**Pads**

Ahhhhh!

Thanks Moonbeam

I’m excited

**Moons**

Yeah yeah

I have the lit homework to do for tomorrow though

So don’t expect too much fun from your visit

**Pads**

Oh Moony

So do I!

I would’ve asked you for help anyway

**Moons**

How convenient

**Pads**

Written in the stars clearly

Cant wait x

**Moons**

Xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Jame**

Lover!

**Marl**

Excuse me?

**Jame**

Lily’s favourite Taylor Swift song is Lover!!!

I’m the the car with her and M now

And Taylor was on her aux anyway

So I just asked what her favourite song was!

**Marl**

Nice one J

I’m sure she appreciated the interest

**Jame**

I think she did!

It’s a really nice song tbf

And when it came on she was all smiley

It was so cute

**Marl**

Oh James

You are in deep my friend

**Jame**

I know I know

BUT

That means now…

You have to reveal something about MM?

**Marl**

I don’t know what you’re talking about

**Jame**

Marl!

Your mystery monsieur!

**Marl**

I really hate the name they’ve accumulated

**Jame**

McKinnon

We had a deal

Tell tell tell

**Marl**

Well

What do you want to know?

**Jame**

Their name?

**Marl**

No

Takes away from the mystery

**Jame**

Ughhh

Okay

What are they like?

Like in general

**Marl**

Hmm

They’re really bubbly

And cool

But I’d never tell them that

**Jame**

Hahaha

Go on

**Marl**

They’re funny

Confident

Sweet when they want to be

**Jame**

Marl

Are you sure you’re not just describing me here?

**Marl**

Get your head out of your arse Potter

**Jame**

Just making sure!

Anyway

He sounds alright

**Marl**

Yeah

Is that sufficient for you?

You nosy git

**Jame**

Quite :)

**Marl**

Good

Now stop being anti-social

And unleash your inner Swiftie

**Jame**

Planning on it!

* * *

**Private Message**

**Padfoo**

Hiya Prongsie

Just checking in

To make sure you haven’t yet replaced your best friends

**Prong**

Pads

You are irreplaceable

Stop being a baby xx

We’ve done maybe a third of my personal statement

And now we’re eating pizza

Having a lovely time overall

**Padfoo**

Sounds riveting

Moony has ventured downstairs to get us Doritos

**Prong**

Nice

Any sign of his dad?

**Padfoo**

Nah

R said he’d be in his office mostly

Not sure if he even knows I’m here

Hopefully it stays that way

**Prong**

Yeah

Once I ran into him as I was leaving the bathroom

And he was about to go in

We made eye contact

It was uncomfortable

**Padfoo**

Christ

That must’ve been so awks

**Prong**

It was not pleasant

Kept calling me Jake as well

Do I look like a Jake???

**Padfoo**

You are a James through and through Prongs

I just wish it wasn’t like this

I feel like he’s the reason Moony never has us over

And he barely lets him go to parties

Remus has to promise he’s home before 11

When he slept over after D’s

I don’t think he was happy at all

**Prong**

I know Pads

I’m not sure there’s much we can do though

**Padfoo**

Yeah

It just frustrates me

And I’m not trying to compare him to Orion or anything

But the way he tries to control Remus and make him feel like shit for just trying to have fun

It just reminds me of him

**Prong**

I get that

I guess we just have to look in the bright side?

You’re at Moony’s now

Everything’s going okay

Does R seem okay?

**Padfoo**

Very

I think he was a bit uncertain at first but

We’ve been doing our lit essays for 2 hours now

And only have a paragraph each done because I won’t shut up and he can’t help but listen to me

So

**Prong**

Hahaha

I won’t be another distraction then

Text when you’re planning on leaving?

**Padfoo**

Will do Prong

Love u

**Prong**

Love u Padfoo x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Jam**

Heya Moony

What’s Sirius up to?

Bugger isn’t answering his phone

**Rem**

Sorry James

He sort of fell asleep

The lit essay took him out I think

**Jam**

Ahh okay

Could you call him a taxi?

I’m getting dropped off at home now

**Rem**

Will do

**Jam**

Thank

Do me a favour

And draw a dick on his forehead for me?

**Rem**

I’d love to Prongs

But unfortunately

I don’t have a sharpie near me

**Jam**

Shame

It’s a classic

He always never realises until HOURS later

**Rem**

Didn’t he come to school one day with one drawn on in year 10?

**Jam**

Yes!!

He got detention for it as well

Didn’t learn his lesson apparently though 

It happened again in year 11

**Rem**

Ha

I remember that now

McGonagall was going off it

And he just had no idea what she was even yelling about

Until Lily gave him a mirror

Classic

**Jam**

We should do it again

For old time’s sake

**Rem**

That’ll have to be your job James

I don’t think I have the heart to

**Jam**

If you heard him snoring

You’d find the heart to

**Rem**

Oh I heard that at D’s party

How do any of you sleep??

**Jam**

I really don’t know!

It’s appalling

**Rem**

Tbf

I’m not being subjected to that racket now

**Jam**

How considerate of him

Wish he’d be that considerate in his own home

Just because he likes being round yours

**Rem**

He does?

**Jam**

Yeah!

I think you underestimate your abode Moony

It’s quite a vibe

**Rem**

I mean

If the vibe is old and the inconveniently small

**Jam**

Rem

It’s homey!

**Rem**

I guess it is?

But compared to yours…

**Jam**

We’re not talking about mine

Tbh Moony

I think he likes your house because it’s YOUR house

**Rem**

What?

**Jam**

Well

You remember his old house?

Grimmauld was proper fancy

Objectively a pretty nice house

But it wasn’t a home, you know?

Not when he lived with the Black’s

**Rem**

Right

**Jam**

I just think it’s the people that makes the difference between a house and a home Rem

As soppy as that is

And obviously Pads loves you

So he’s bound to love your home as well

**Rem**

And that’s being expressed

By him having the decency not to snore here?

**Jam**

Hahaha

Maybe!

**Rem**

How lovely of him

Taxi’s called

Shouldn’t be long until you have your Padfoot back

**Jam**

Great xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Moons**

Get home okay?

**Pads**

Yeahhh

I’ve got to say

That nap has fully refreshed me

I feel like I could’ve ran home tbh

**Moons**

Well I’m glad you didn’t

It’s like 1 degree outside

You would’ve frozen

**Pads**

Pffft

I would’ve been fine

Your jumper is really warm

Reckon I could trek through the Arctic with this on

**Moons**

That seems like an exaggeration

But I’m glad it’s satisfactory for you

**Pads**

Well it was either this or one of your cardigans

And Moony

We all know I wasn’t chucking one of them on

**Moons**

Didn’t we establish I'm the only one that pulls them off?

You just saved yourself the embarrassment really

**Pads**

Whatever

I’ll give it back tomoz

Tell Hope thanks again for dinner btw!

**Moons**

Will do

**Pads**

Is your dad okay?

**Moons**

Still haven’t seen him tonight

That’s a good sign though

**Pads**

Good

So

I can come round more often then?

**Moons**

Inviting yourself over are you?

**Pads**

I think you rather enjoyed my company

**Moons**

I couldn’t move for two hours because you were snoring on my shoulder

Don’t know how much I was enjoying that

You missed half of Bake Off as well

So I had to judge all the cakes by myself

**Pads**

Ahh Moons

I’ll catch up on the episode tomoz

And send you a full commentary

**Moons**

Lovely

And Pads?

**Pads**

Hm?

**Moons**

Prinks at mine on Saturday?

**Pads**

Moony!

You beaut

Are you sure it’s alright??

**Moons**

Mum said something about my dad going away for work this weekend

So I think it should be fine?

**Pads**

Well I am ecstatic Moons

Can’t wait!

**Moons**

Great x

* * *

**Private Message**

**James**

Hi Lily

I think I might’ve left my school bag in your car

**Lily**

What?

How??

Let me check

**James**

I put it in the backseat!

And I must’ve just forgotten about it

Until now obvs

I went to start doing that sociology booklet that’s due for tomorrow

And then realised it was in my bag

Which I left in your car

So yeah

**Lily**

You’re an idiot Potter

It’s in my car

How did I not even notice??

**James**

Ha

**Lily**

Not ‘ha’

I have a free in the morning

But now I’m gonna have to come in early to give you your bloody bag!

**James**

Shit

Sorry Lily

I really do need my bag though

**Lily**

You owe me James

**James**

That’s fine!

I’ll bring you a Starbs in the morn

**Lily**

That’d be very nice

**James**

I could just come by yours before school instead?

If it’s easier

**Lily**

Well you’ve offered the Starbs now James

Don’t worry

I’ll just meet you at school

In the mean time

How are you going to do the sociology?

**James**

That’s a good question

I have no clue

**Lily**

You know

If I’m coming into school early anyway

How about we both come in early?

We can sit in the library with our Starbs

And you can do the booklet before your lesson?

**James**

Lily

You don’t have to do that

**Lily**

James

I want to

I have other homework I need to do anyway

**James**

You’re an absolute gem Lily

Thanks

**Lily**

Yeah yeah

I’ll be expecting a venti drink x

**James**

I wouldn’t offer anything less :) x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wolfstar acting like boyfriends but being completely oblivious to it is my fave


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily is very confused, Mary plays matchmaker, and Marlene strikes a nerve with Remus.

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Okay was I seeing things

Or have I just walked past the library

And seen you and James sitting together??

**Lils**

Ffs Marls

He’s right next to me!

We’re just doing some homework

**Marls**

Lils

You don’t even have a lesson this morning

And first lesson doesn’t start for ten minutes

How long have you been here?

**Lils**

An hour maybe?

**Marls**

Sweet Pete

**Lils**

Marlene

It’s homework

**Marls**

You know

This is probably the highlight of his entire life

**Lils**

I really doubt it

**Marls**

This’ll be a core memory for him

**Lils**

Marls

Do you really think he still fancies me?

**Marls**

Yes Lils

I don’t understand how you still have to ask

**Lils**

I don’t know

Obviously we’re friends now

And I like where we are at the minute

**Marls**

Okay

Are you worried about him fancying you because you don’t fancy him back?

**Lils**

No

Sort of

You know how I thought James might’ve fancied you Marls?

**Marls**

Yeah?

**Lils**

Honestly

I didn’t ever really think that

I think I sort of tried to convince myself that he did

Because that would mean that he didn’t fancy me anymore

**Marls**

Right

Why would you want to do that?

**Lils**

Well we’ve been getting closer since we got back to sixth form

Before we barely spent any time together

And it bothered me when you guys would say he was in love with me or whatever

Because he barely knew me at all

And the only reason he’s fancied me all these years is because he’s created this idealised version of me in his head

**Marls**

Okay

So what you’re saying is

Now that you’re becoming good friends with James

You think he’ll see this ‘real’ you

And not fancy you anymore

**Lils**

Yes

**Marls**

Right

Question

Does this really matter if you don’t fancy him back?

**Lils**

Marls

**Marls**

??

Oh

Oh oh oh

Oh????

Lily reply before I go insane???

So you’re leaving the conversation like this then

Lily Evans

I’m going to murder you

**Lils**

Sorry!

James needed help with something

Message me after your lesson x

**Marls**

You are on thin ice babe

Thin thin ice

**Lils**

Ha

**Marls**

Really though Lils

Where are we with James then?

**Lils**

I really don’t know Marls

I do like where we are now

As friends

I like spending time with him

And I guess I like that he still supposedly fancies me

And I can’t believe I’m actually saying all this

**Marls**

That’s fine if you just like being his friend for now

Or forever

**Lils**

That’s the thing though

Idk

I feel like one day I could fancy him back?

Maybe??

**Marls**

Oh?

**Lils**

God

I sound like an idiot

I don’t know

I guess I don’t want him to stop liking me

Because I think I might start to like him back

Or maybe I already fancy him back??

I have no clue tbh

**Marls**

You said you just like being his friend right now

Honestly Lils

I would just go with the flow

You’re obvs getting on well with him now

And you can just see where it goes?

**Lils**

Yeah

**Makes**

And Lils

He DOES like you

Not this ‘idealised’ Lily in his head

He likes the real you

And he obvs likes that he’s getting to know you better now

It probably makes him fancy you more tbh

**Lils**

You think?

**Marls**

Yes

You don’t ever need to doubt that

I knew that James liking me thing was a bit off

Christ Lils

**Lils**

I know

That was ridiculous

**Marls**

I understand why you did it though

Even if it was ridiculous

Because anyone with a brain knows you’re amazing

And they don’t need to know your life story to know that

Like James never needed to know you like the back of his hand to think you’re perfect

And has he changed at all since you’ve became friends?

**Lils**

I guess not

He really is lovely

**Marls**

Exactly

**Lils**

Ugh

What would I do without you Marls?

YOU’RE amazing

**Marls**

Well

We both are

Really though Lils

Just go at your own pace with James okay?

**Lils**

Yeah I will

I really do like how things are panning out

**Marls**

Good

As long as you’re happy babe

**Lils**

I really do love you M xx

**Marls**

Yack

You sop

See you at lunch xx

**Lils**

Have I just taken up 20 minutes of your history lesson?

Sorry!

**Marls**

Nah you’re alright

Remus is wondering what the goss is though

**Lils**

Tell him you’re texting your secret boyfriend

**Marls**

Not sure he’d believe that

Yeah

He just laughed

**Lils**

Cheeky git

Okay

I won’t keep you any longer

Thank you though Marls

You keep me sane x

**Marls**

Ahh you <3

Anytime Lils

**Lils**

<3

* * *

**after school club**

**James**

I did it guys!

Application finished and sent :)

**Mary**

Ahh good!

Bet that’s a massive relief

**James**

Yeah it is

Minnie looked like she could’ve cried when I told her

It was as if she had no faith in me!

**Mary**

Well you know what they say

Never underestimate a Potter

**James**

Yes Macs!

**Lily**

Who is ‘they’?

I’ve never heard that

Ever

**James**

Me and Dad!

**Mary**

Ahhh

I was joking but

That’s cute

**Lily**

Very

Well done though James

What did you end up putting as your choices?

**James**

Thanks Lily

UCL, Imperial College, Leeds and Edinburgh 

**Mary**

Bloody hell

Edinburgh is worlds away!

Leeds is way up north as well

**James**

Tbf

I’m hoping I get an offer from either of the ones here

I don’t fancy moving away if I’m honest

**Lily**

I’m not sure if I do either really

Those are great unis though

**Mary**

Yeah all of my choices are in London

I put UCL and Imperial as well

**Lily**

You planning on ending up in the same one?

**Mary**

Hahaha

Maybe

That’d be fun

**James**

That would be mint!

I wish we could all go to the same uni

I can’t imagine not seeing everyone everyday

**Lily**

Ahh Potter

Don’t get all soppy

**James**

It’s true!

**Mary**

Can you imagine a world where you don’t see Sirius every day?

**James**

That is a world Macs

That I do not want to live in

**Mary**

Bless

He’s not sure what he’s doing yet is he?

**James**

Nah

Him and Remus are undecided

Pete’s obvs doing physics

He’s applying for Cambridge you know!

**Mary**

No way

He’ll probably get in

**Lily**

That’s amazing

Though

If he comes back a posh git

We’re gonna have to disown him

**Mary**

I agree

You and S are already on thin ice James

**James**

We are not that posh!

**Mary**

You drive a range rover to school you git!

**Lily**

She has you there Potter

And you own a fucking Apple watch

They are so pointless

**James**

What!

I love my Apple watch :(

**Mary**

Toff behaviour tbh James

**James**

You know

I don’t like gc’s without the boys

I have no one here to defend me!

**Mary**

Tragic x

**Lily**

How do you think I feel in that bloody sociology chat?

**James**

We def need to revive that chat

I know you love it really Lil

**Lily**

Hm

I don’t think so

**James**

Lies

I think you’ve thoroughly enjoyed my presence this week

**Mary**

It’s definitely been a lot louder

**James**

I’ll take that as a compliment

This doesn’t mean I’m kicked out of the ASC now though??

**Mary**

Well if you're gonna come over

You actually need to do some revision

Otherwise it’s just you distracting me and Lils!

**James**

Not my fault I’m so distracting ;)

**Mary**

It is very much your fault

Because you never shut up J

I don’t know how you get anything done when you live with Sirius

**James**

We make it work

When we put our brains together

We actually come out with some fab stuff

**Mary**

I’m not sure about that James

I’d need evidence to believe that

**James**

We should have ASC at mine one day then!

S can make a special guest appearance

Mum would be so excited

You know she loves you girls

**Mary**

And we love her

If you want to then

Maybe one day next week?

As long as we actually get stuff done

**James**

We will!

It’ll be fun

Lily?

**Lily**

If you insist Potter

**James**

Ahh I’m looking forward to it!

**Mary**

You do know we’re only coming for Effie though?

**James**

Excuses excuses

I know you love me really ;)

* * *

**dumplings**

**Mary**

Hey guys

Be at Ben’s for 7pm tomorrow!

I can pick anyone up if need be x

**Dorcas**

Em is driving us I think

We’re grabbing a Maccy D’s first though

Omg

Maccy D

That’s me and you Mary!

**Mary**

Ahhh

I love that!

Plan Marls?

**Marlene**

I was just gonna taxi over

**Mary**

Nonsense

I’ll pick you up

**Dorcas**

You can get food with me and Em if you want Marlsy

**Marlene**

Thanks Dorcs

I’ll be okay I think

If that’s alright with you Mary?

Just didn’t want you driving all the way from Ben’s and back to pick me up

**Mary**

It’s totally fine M

Lads?

**Sirius**

We’re having pre drinks at Moony’s!

Things might get a bit wild

Might not even make it to the sesh

**Dorcas**

Wow

You absolute maniacs

**Remus**

I think we’re taxi-ing there after

**Mary**

I would hope so

Unless you’re not planning on prinks Remus

**Sirius**

He is!

We’re getting Remus good and drunk tonight

**Marlene**

Yes Rems

I love drunk Remus

Funniest fucker ever

**Remus**

Alright Marls

Because sober me is such a tosser

**James**

Ahh leave our Moony alone

You are a hoot when you’re pissed though mate

I still have that video from when you almost drowned in Gid and Fab’s pool

Fucking quality!

**Remus**

Ffs James

I’ve been trying to repress that

**Dorcas**

That was so fucking funny

**Remus**

I almost drowned??

Far from funny

**James**

You had a pool noodle around you you sod!

And you call Sirius dramatic

We had to take your phone off you after

Because you kept trying to call 999

**Marls**

That night was something else

**Remus**

It was traumatic

Legit thought I was gonna die

**Marls**

Bless you

At least Ben doesn’t have a pool

You’ll prob find some other way to make an idiot of yourself though

**Remus**

Thanks Marls

That’s reassuring

**Sirius**

We’ll look after you Moons

**Mary**

I wouldn’t count on S

He’ll be just as bad as you Remus

If not worse

**Sirius**

:( Not drunk enough to leave a drunk Moony on his lonesome

**Remus**

Appreciate that S

**Dorcas**

Bless

Don’t think we’re ignoring you for the night though P!

**Mary**

Oh yeah!

Mara got to Ben’s last night

She’s excited!

**Pete**

She will like me won’t she?

This isn’t just you trying to embarrass me?

**Mary**

Pete :(

I wouldn’t do that

If you’re still shaken from that Bertha thing

That was all on you love

**Pete**

I guess so

Sorry

**Mary**

Don’t apologise

You don’t need to worry about Mara

She WILL like you

**James**

Yeah Wormy

We’ll get your confidence up before tonight!

**Marlene**

James’ll teach you some of that Potter charm P

**James**

You know it!

**Dorcas**

Not that it’s worked on anyone thus far

**Marlene**

Idk Dorky

When he started doing the sprinkler at yours

He was getting all the eyes from the ladies

**James**

I have zero recollection of that

**Dorcas**

It def happened mate

And it was wonderful

**James**

I can imagine

**Mary**

Oooh and Marls

Pete isn’t the only one I’m playing matchmaker with tomorrow night

**Marlene**

Please tell me it isn’t me too

**Mary**

It’s you babe

**Marlene**

Ffs

**Sirius**

Yes Marl!

If your last snog really was James’s 17th

We need to get you some ASAP

**Marlene**

Piss off Sirius

Mary

Who is it?

Actually

I don’t want to know

**Mary**

Yes you do!

He’s called Sturgis

He’s one of Ben’s mates from football

**James**

Sturgis?

Is he a bloody wizard or something?

**Sirius**

Sturgis Podmore?

**Mary**

Yeah that’s him

You know him?

**Sirius**

Talked to him a bit at Ben’s party

The one in May

**Mary**

Don’t you think he’s perfect for Marlene??

**Sirius**

Hmm

I don’t think he likes blondes

**Mary**

What?

How do you know?

**Sirius**

He told me

At the party

**Mary**

Right

Well I’m sure he’ll make an exception for you Marls

**Marlene**

I hope he doesn’t

**Mary**

Ffs

You’ve put her off now Sirius!

**Marlene**

I was never on M

**Mary**

Hmm :(

See you all tomorrow then

**James**

Xx

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

I think Mary’s annoyed at me for not being bothered about that Strurgis

Was I too blunt about it?

**Rems**

I don’t think so

You know Mary

She just wants everyone to be happy

I’m guessing she thought you’d get on well with him?

**Marls**

Ugh

I feel terrible now

She’s only trying to be nice

**Rems**

Still Marls

She obvs won’t introduce you if you’re not interested

Which I’m assuming you’re not

**Marls**

You’re assuming right

Apparently he won’t be either though

Doesn’t like blondes

The tosser

It’s funny Sirius met him last time but none of us did

**Rems**

You think?

**Marls**

Well he can’t have been that involved at Ben’s last time

Otherwise we’d at least have met him

And S usually just sticks with us

Idk

I’m surprised Mary hasn’t tried to set you up yet Rems

**Rems**

Ugh

Don’t jinx it please

**Marls**

Ha

Seriously though

You not got your eye on anyone?

**Rems**

No Marls

I don’t

**Marls**

You know Remus

You’re such a catch

**Rems**

Thanks?

**Marls**

Def a compliment

Like you have no bad qualities tbh

You should have girls queuing up for you

**Rems**

You’re ridiculous

**Marls**

I’m being honest!

I bet you could pull tomorrow

**Rems**

Stop

**Marls**

Idk why you’re so opposed to it

Come out of your shell a bit Rems

**Rems**

I’m really not a fan of all this optimism

Can we revert back to moody Marlene?

**Marls**

I just don’t understand Remus

You are made of boyfriend material

**Rems**

Is this the repressed crush on me coming back?

**Marls**

Stop it

I’m just curious!

James is obvs mad over Lils

Mary has Ben

Dorcas has Em

We know my sticky sitch

Sirius is a self proclaimed bachelor

Pete’ll prob get on well with Mara

**Rems**

And then there’s boring old me?

**Marls**

I’m not saying that

If you’re fine being a single pringle

That’s obvs okay

**Rems**

Well so is Lily

**Marls**

Come on Rems

I think she’s warming up to J tbh

She’s said she wouldn’t mind a boyfriend anyway

You just seem completely opposed to romance

**Rems**

I’m not

**Marls**

Okay

What’s holding you back then?

**Rems**

I don’t know?

I’m just not really interested in any girls

It doesn’t have to be a ‘thing’

**Marls**

Alright then

And Remus

I’m just gonna say this

Because I sort of wish someone had said this to me

When I was shoved far back in le closet

But if you’re not interested in girls at all

That’s also okay

Just putting that out there

**Rems**

What?

**Marls**

We don’t have to talk about it

I’m not making any other assumptions either

I’m just saying that if that’s the case

Then that’s fine

**Rems**

Oh alright

I’m not interested in any girls right now

So I must be gay?

**Marls**

That’s not what I said

**Rems**

I think you were implying it

**Marls**

I just said I’m not making assumptions

**Rems**

Whatever

**Marls**

Ffs Remus

I’m sorry for bringing it up then

Remus come on

Are you really getting pissy with me over this?

Fine


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party antics, rescuing Lily, and Sirius’s ‘friend’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots going on in this chapter, please enjoy :)

**uptown girls**

**Lils**

I’m really considering just showing up to this bloody thing in a bin bag

It feels weird getting dressed up for something I’m absolutely dreading

**Dorcas**

Do it Lils

The black will really bring out the red of your hair

It’ll be a statement

**Lils**

Ugh

It’s tempting

Vernon is picking us up as well

And we’re meeting Tarquin there

**Marls**

Sweet Pete

You’re going out with a Tarquin?

**Dorcas**

I’m crying

I’m so sorry Lils

But LMAO

**Lils**

I’m appalled honestly

What has my life come to?

**Mary**

Oh Lils

It’ll only be for a couple of hours?

You’ll just have to hang in there

**Lils**

That’s the plan

**Dorcas**

Still can’t believe that

What else would we expect from Vernon’s poncey lot though

**Lils**

I’m not excited

**Marls**

Bless

We’ll be thinking of you

**Lils**

Cheers

Still not sure what to wear though

**Dorcas**

Maybe just go more casual

No point in putting on your best stuff for a Tarquin

**Mary**

Agreed

**Lils**

Ughhh

I’m just thinking of our outing tomorrow

That I am excited for

**Mary**

Same!

I was thinking we can come back to mine after?

**Lily**

Anything to keep me away from my sister after tonight

That sounds good M

**Dorcas**

Ahh Em asked if I could go to hers after we’d been out

Should I reschedule?

**Mary**

Not on our account Dorcs

If you’re already going to Ems

**Dorcas**

I don’t want to miss the girl's afternoon though :/

**Mary**

You can invite Emmeline?

She’s more than welcome to join

**Dorcas**

Ahh really?

I’ll ask

Thanks M

**Mary**

No prob

**Lils**

Alright guys

Vernon will be here in 10

**Marls**

Yack

Don’t enjoy yourself too much

**Lils**

I’m really not planning on it

Enjoy the party anyway girls x

**Mary**

Thanks Lil

See you tomorrow x

**Dorcas**

Good luck comrade!

* * *

**the plastics**

**Prongs**

We have the voddy

And we are en route to Moony’s

**Moony**

Great

Does that mean S is driving?

It’ll be a miracle if you even make it

**Prongs**

Hahaha

He says to suck on one

Between us lads

I’m holding on to the handle for dear life

**Wormtail**

Do you have a death wish?

Why did you let that maniac behind the wheel?

**Prongs**

He’s gotten better tbf

After the cocker-spaniel incident

**Moony**

What’s the cocker-spaniel incident?

**Prongs**

Well Moony

One time when we were driving

This little cocker-spaniel ran right out into the road

And S hit the breaks proper hard

I thought I got whiplashed

But anyway

He was so sure he’d hit the dog that he started sobbing

Like full on Niagara fucking Falls

And it was heartbreaking

But also a bit hilarious

Because he was actually nowhere near hitting the dog

And the owner was staring at S having a breakdown

Like he was some sort of lunatic

**Wormtail**

Lmao

When was this?

**Prongs**

A couple of months ago I think

He doesn’t like driving much now

But I made him tonight

Since I’ll prob be the one driving us home

**Moony**

You’re not drinking tonight then?

**Prongs**

Nah

I’m driving us to Ben’s aren’t I?

It’s Mum’s birthday tomorrow anyway

And I don’t think she’d appreciate her sons hungover and half asleep when she’s trying to celebrate

**Moony**

Fair enough

Sirius won’t be shit faced then?

**Prongs**

Not if he doesn’t want a bollocking from me tomorrow

Well all know you’re getting hammered tonight though mate!

Pads will want to remember that

**Moony**

I bet

**Wormtail**

I’m getting the bus now

Shan’t be long

**Prongs**

Shan’t

I love that

We shan’t be long either then

**Moony**

Good x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Rems

We don’t have to talk about yesterday if you don’t want to

I just want us to be okay for tonight?

Remus?

* * *

**Private Message**

**Jame**

Sorry Marl

Rem is on his third shot

I’ll ask him to message you now?

**Marl**

It’s alright J

I won’t ruin his fun

I guess I’ll just catch him at the party

**Jame**

I wouldn’t count on that

We might be bringing him to Ben’s on a stretcher

He’s proper going for it

S is only encouraging him

Pete is already documenting this to watch tomoz

**Marl**

Good thinking from Pete

**Jame**

Are you two alright?

**Marl**

Yeah just

He got a bit miffed about something I said yesterday

I wasn’t trying to be a dick

But he just took it badly

Does he seem okay?

**Jame**

Well he’s chugging shots like a champ

I guess it’s a bit unlike him though

He doesn’t usually rush to get pissed

**Marl**

He’s prob still annoyed at me then

Ffs

He’s so stubborn when he wants to be

**Jame**

I’m sure he’ll come around Marl

Maybe he just needs the night to unwind a bit

Once you’re at the party he might loosen up a bit?

**Marl**

Maybe

I just don’t want to be the reason he’s vomiting everywhere later on

**Jame**

Well whatever you said to him

i don’t think it’ll do any long term damage

I’ll keep an eye on him

Can’t have him vomming in Ben’s house

He’s got carpet floors in every room

**Marl**

Not very ideal for house parties

He’s skating on thin ice there

**Jame**

That’s what I was thinking

Bit of a frisk innit

**Marl**

Jame

Since when do you say ‘innit’?

**Jame**

Just trying out some new lingo

**Marl**

Not sure how much ‘innit’ goes with your posho accent though love

**Jame**

Alright Negative Nancy

I quite like it!

**Marl**

God

I’m just raining on everyone’s parades aren’t I

**Jame**

That’s not what I was getting at

**Marl**

I know

I’m just joking

Keep an eye on R though?

**Jame**

Always

**Marl**

Great

When are you leaving?

**Jame**

We were meant to be leaving now

But R and S are having way too much fun

Sirius found some old water guns in Rem’s cupboard

And they’ve filled them with voddy

So you can guess how that’s panning out

**Marl**

Lmao

That’s not a bad idea tbh

Def bring them to Ben’s

**Jame**

Will do

If I can pry them from those two

I’ll let you know when we’re off x

**Marl**

Alrighty

M is on her way now

See you soon x

**Jame**

X

* * *

**Private Message**

**Dork**

Hey Marlsy

You at Ben’s yet?

I didn’t see you come in

**Marlsy**

Sorry

Yeah I’m here

I made my way straight to the kitchen

You don’t know where the mixers are do you?

Nevermind actually

Shots seem more appealing right now 

**Dork**

You okay babe?

As much as I’m wanting to come down and do shots with you

I’m getting Bad Vibes

**Marlsy**

Don’t mind me

I would just very much like to be drunk

As quickly as possible

**Dork**

Is this about the Sturgis thing?

If it is

You don’t need to worry about that

Mary got the message

**Marlsy**

Well that doesn’t make me feel any better

Is she annoyed at me?

**Dork**

Oh no

Not that message

Well she def did get the message you were uninterested

But she also got another message

About Sturgis

Fun fact

He is not interested in vag at all!

Great news isn’t it?

**Marlsy**

Oh really?

I mean yeah that’s great

How’d you know?

**Dork**

Well Mary told Ben she wanted to set you up with him

And Ben said it was a bad idea

And Mary got upset because when does Ben ever disagree with her?

But then he said that old Sturg was indeed not looking for some girl lovin’ tonight

Or ever!

So

**Marlsy**

Well that sorts that then

**Dork**

Yep

Sirius seems to be conversing nicely with him

I didn’t realise they were friends?

**Marlsy**

They’re not really?

S said he only talked to him at Ben’s last party

**Dork**

That’s weird

I’m sure S said something about not messaging him since the summer

Idk

Anyway

Did you mention shots McKinnon?

**Marlsy**

I did Meadowes

**Dork**

Grand!

Omw down ;)

* * *

**Private Message**

**Moons**

Padssss

Siriusss

Helloooo

:(((

**Pads**

Sorry Moony

Just saw this

You okay?

**Moons**

Hiya Pads

**Pads**

Hiya Moons

Where are you?

**Moons**

Jsmes won’t let me do any mpre shots :(

**Pads**

Ugh

What a bore

**Moons**

IKR!

Omg

Is thst Bowie plsying?!

**Pads**

Thought sticking on a bit of Rebel Rebel would get you dancing

Come downstairs will you?

**Moons**

You know Siriys

You are a dream

**Pads**

How lovely of you

**Moons**

I mean it thpugh

You are

You’re

**Pads**

Come on Moony

The song will be finished by the time you come down!

**Moons**

Coming!

* * *

**Private Message**

**Lily**

James?

**James**

Hi Lily

What’s up?

**Lily**

Thank fuck

You are the only one I’ve messaged

Who isn’t bloody intoxicated

Even Mary is bladdered!

**James**

Yeah

Everyone’s really going for it tonight

I’ve just seen Remus on the table

Pete’s off snogging that Mara

Marl and Dorcas are making great use of these vodka water guns

**Lily**

Jesus

And you’re taking care of everyone then?

**James**

Yeah!

I don’t mind really

I like making sure everyone’s

Well

Not dead

**Lily**

That’s nice of you

**James**

Are you alright?

How’s that family dinner?

**Lily**

Well first

It’s not a family dinner

My sister set me up on a double date with her and her boyfriend and one of his mates

And second

It’s awful

It’s so bad

So I’ve snuck out the back of the restaurant

**James**

Christ Lily

Are you okay?

**Lily**

I don’t know

Can I call you?

**James**

Yeah of course

_Incoming call from_ **_Lily_ **

“Hello?”

“Hi, James.” 

“Hi. What’s going on then?”

“Well… I can’t go back in there.” 

“Right.”

“It’s been _awful_ , James. Vernon’s mate is awful. He wasn’t that bad at first, but then we got to talking about school and stuff. I told him I did art, and he made some pissy comment about wasting an A Level when I could’ve picked a ‘real’ subject.” 

“Really? What a tosser!”

“And it only got worse! He said— well he said he didn’t really like girls with red hair, but he guessed I was ‘pretty enough’. I mean, what the hell does that mean?” 

“Lily—”

“And then he said he thought my dress was a bit low cut, but proceeded to talk about his last girlfriend who was apparently a massive _prude_! Just… the way he talks about other people, and how he talked to me—” 

“Evans—”

“I can’t go back in there—” 

“ _Hey_ , you don’t have to, okay? God, of course you don’t have to. Can you get a taxi home? Or to Ben’s?”

“I don’t have any money. Fuck, I knew I should’ve brought some...” 

“That’s okay. Look, I’ll come and pick you up.”

“But… you’ve been drinking—” 

“I’m completely sober, I swear on it. What’s the address? I’ll leave now.”

“God, er… It’s hard to spell, I’ll message you it. Are you sure this is alright? What about the party?” 

“I can just head back after. I’ll take you to Ben’s if you want, unless you just want to go home?”

“... Mary won’t hate me if I head straight home, will she?” 

“Course not. It’s understandable, you’ve had a bad night.”

“Yeah…” 

“Right, I’m just putting you on speaker. I’m leaving now.”

“Okay, I’ve texted the address.” 

“Got it.”

“Good… thanks, James.” 

“It’s no problem.”

“Still, thank you. God, Petunia is gonna kill me.” 

“Well, it’s her fault for setting you up with such a git.”

“Mm.” 

“That stuff he said, you know it’s all rubbish? He’s obviously an absolute wanker.”

“Yeah, I know. Not very nice to hear though, is it?” 

“No, no of course not.”

“... Are you far away?” 

“SatNav says ten minutes. Shan’t be long.”

“Okay… ‘shan’t’? 

“It’s my new word! D’you like it?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Very posh of you.” 

“Well, it’s me written all over then, isn’t it?”

“Yes, yes it is.” 

“You know… I _personally_ really like your hair.”

“Do you?” 

“Yeah, it’s very… red. Pretty! It’s pretty, _you’re_ pretty. Not that you need me to tell you that, you probably already know … not that you’re stuck up or anything—!”

“Potter?” 

“Er, yeah?”

“Thank you. You’re… You’re lovely.” 

“Oh… thank you. You.. so are you.”

“...I’ll see you in a bit, yeah? I think phone is about to die.” 

“Okay, yeah. I’ll see you, in a bit.”

“In a bit, Potter.” 

“Bye Lily.”

“Bye, James.” 

_Call ended._

* * *

**Private Message**

**Rems**

Hiya Marls

I’mmm sprry

Bout yesterdsay

**Marls**

Hey Rems

God I can barely see what I’m typing

Can you come into the garden?

**Rems**

Nahh

Don’t feel like mpving

**Marls**

Me neither

I guess we’re texting then

Don’t worry about yesterday

That’s done and gone

**Rems**

I feel bad though

**Marls**

Please don’t

It was my fault really

Shall we talk about this tomorrow?

I feel like now isn’t the best time

**Rems**

It was my fault

I ignored you

**Marls**

Remus

Let’s just drop it

Or talk about it tomorrow

**Rems**

I’m glad you said whst ypu said

About not liking girls

**Marls**

Well okay

Obvs I just wanted to include that possibility

That didn’t mean I was assuming that was the case

**Rems**

Life’s just full pf possibilies isn’t it?

Lots and lots

Of possibilities

**Marls**

It is indeed

How profound of you

**Rems**

There are so many bloody stars in the sky

**Marls**

That’s true

Context?

**Rems**

I’m looking at them now

Lots and lots of them

**Marls**

Are you outside?

**Rems**

You know Sirius is namsd after a star

**Marls**

Ffs

Yes I do know that

**Rems**

Sirius

The brightest one in the sky

Pretty amazing I think

It fits

**Marls**

Ahh

Getting sentimental are we?

You’re not in the garden are you Rems?

**Rems**

I’m named after a moon you know

Bit weird isn’t it

**Marls**

I think it’s pretty cool

What are the odds you two would become friends

The moon and the star eh?

Now where are you??

**Rems**

Wow

**Marls**

I’m clever aren’t I?

Rems

Someone just said some nutter is lying out in the front garden

Is that you?

**Rems**

Well I’m a moon

I’m clearly up in the sky!

**Marls**

It is def you

Ugh

I’m on my way

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marl**

I thought you were meant to be looking out for Remus!

I’ve just had to drag him out of the cold

Cause he went bloody stargazing

And now he has grass stains all up the back of his shirt

Ffs James

Where are you?

**Jame**

Bloody hell

What a nutter!

Sorry Marl

I had to leave

I’ll be back in a bit

**Marl**

Oh

Is everything okay?

**Jame**

Yeah it is now

Lily will probably tell you about it tomorrow

But that double date thing she was on was awful

**Marl**

Ah fuck

She messaged me when me and D were doing water gun shots

**Jame**

Well we talked

And I went and picked her up

She had no money for a taxi

And I don’t think her sister would’ve let her leave

**Marl**

Fuck

Is she okay?

**Jame**

Yeah she’s fine

Obvs she’s not feeling great but

I think she’s just happy to be at home now

**Marl**

Okay

That’s good

You went and picked her up then?

**Jame**

Yeah?

**Marl**

James

You’re a bloody knight in shining armour

**Jame**

Ah piss off

Any of you guys would’ve done the same

If you weren’t all off your face by eight!

**Marl**

I’ve sobered up a bit now!

Honestly

You don’t drink for one night and you think you’re some saint

Get off your high horse

**Jame**

Hahaha

I’d like to see any of you go sober for a night!

Borderline alcoholics the lot of you

**Marl**

Where are you now then?

**Jame**

Just in the car

I’ve just dropped Lily off

**Marl**

Ahhh

Any progress then?

Operation Jily on the go?

**Jame**

No!

She was upset

And vulnerable

I have morals you know

**Marl**

Alright

Forgot I was talking to Mr Righteous

That’s nice though James

Tbf

If you had have said you’d tried something on

I would’ve decked you when you came back

**Jame**

Well I would’ve deserved it in that case

Just to be clear

I didn’t

So don’t punch me when I get back please

**Marl**

I won’t I won’t

Seriously though

I’m sure she appreciated that loads J

**Jame**

Yeah

I’m just glad she’s alright

I’m gonna drive back now

See you soon yeah?

**Marl**

See you soon

You bloody charmer

**Jame**

Bugger off x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Unknown Number**

Hey Sirius

I didn’t see you before I left but

I just wanted to say that it was nice catching up

This is Sturgis by the way

**Sirius**

Oh

Hi Sturgis

Yeah it was good seeing you too

How did you get my number?

**Sturgis**

Got it from Ben

Is that okay?

**Sirius**

Yeah that’s fine

**Sturgis**

Look Sirius

I really liked talking to you again tonight

And honestly

I’ve been thinking about May

We had a bit of fun then didn’t we?

**Sirius**

Well yeah but

That was quite a while ago

**Sturgis**

I know

And I know you said you were still struggling

You know

With whether you fancied blokes or not

I guess I just wanted to ask anyway

If you wanted to see each other some time soon?

**Sirius**

Look Sturgis

I liked talking to you tonight

And May was nice

It really was but

I don’t think I really see you like that anymore

**Sturgis**

So

You don’t like blokes then?

**Sirius**

I didn’t say that

I guess I just still don’t know what I am

Not that that makes a difference

I’m sorry Sturgis but

I just don’t see me and you happening again

I hope that’s okay with you

**Sturgis**

Well okay then

At least you’re blunt about it

**Sirius**

Sorry

**Sturgis**

Don’t be

Just thought I might’ve been special

Being your first and all

**Sirius**

Yeah well

You should learn not to make assumptions

**Sturgis**

Well that’s me told then

I was only joking

Can I just ask

Do you regret it?

**Sirius**

No

I don’t regret it

It just kind of happened didn’t it?

**Sturgis**

Yeah

I would’ve understood if you did though

If you wanted your first time to be with someone else

**Sirius**

Sturgis

I knew I wanted it in the moment

I wasn’t really thinking about ‘first times’ or whatever

I think that concept is a bit outdated tbh

**Sturgis**

Fair enough

I was just making sure

I guess you’re right though

**Sirius**

Well

When am I not?

**Sturgis**

Still as cocky as ever I see

So

I’ll just see you at Ben’s next session then?

**Sirius**

Yeah

Sorry again

**Sturgis**

Don’t apologise

It’s fine

But I guess if you ever need any help

You know

Figuring things out?

I’m just a message away

**Sirius**

Thanks Sturgis

I think I’m okay but

I appreciate it

**Sturgis**

No bother

Have a good one then Sirius x

**Sirius**

Yeah

You too x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Dad**

Remus, answer your phone.

Where are you?

**Remus**

Hi Mr Lupin, this is Remus’s friend James messaging from his phone. It’s quite late, and your home is quite far to drive to at this time, so I think it’s better that Remus stays at mine tonight. You’ve met my parents before, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter. He’ll be in good hands.

**Dad**

Right. Tell Remus to call me in the morning immediately.

**Remus**

Alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> james potter is just my favourite ever


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments, falling out, and James being a Good Friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update bc drama is ensuing and i’m excited lmao. this chap is a bit angsty, enjoy?? maybe??

**the spice boys**

**Prongs**

Hi lads

Just checking in to see how we are this morn!

Also

The spice boys??

**Wormtail**

I think Moony changed it last night

Did you see his rendition of Wannabe?

**Prongs**

No!

I wish I had

**Wormtail**

It was certainly… a rendition

Are those two drunkards up yet?

**Prongs**

They’re not actually

Idk why I’m messaging the gc

* * *

**Private Message**

**Prongs**

Okay

Now they can’t complain about being woken up by us spamming

S will prob be up soon

Idk about R though

By the time he got back to mine

He was dead on his feet

**Wormy**

Yeah was he okay last night?

He was a bit moody when we got to his

Then next time I saw him he was pissed?

**Prongs**

Don’t mention anything to him but

I think him and Marlene had a bit of a tiff

Nothing serious but

I think he just wanted to drink it off

**Wormy**

Ahh

Well he’s gonna wake up with a raging headache

I think was switching between vodka and cider

**Prongs**

Ffs

You should’ve informed me!

Though I guess you couldn’t have

With your tongue stuck down Mara’s throat

**Wormy**

Shut up

**Prongs**

I’m only teasing

You two gonna see each other again then?

**Wormy**

Yeah I think so

I know I’ve only known her for less than 24 hours Prongs

But I actually think she’s the love of my life

**Prongs**

Woah!!

Hold your horses Wormy!

**Wormy**

Idk mate

I’ve never felt this way about someone ever

She was just so easy to get along with

It felt like we’d known each other forever

She’s just

Perfect

**Prongs**

Ahhh Pete

I mean if you say so

Good on you mate!

**Wormy**

Thanks

And Prongs

You can talk!

You declared your undying love for Evans when we were 13!

**Prongs**

Yeah yeah

I was 13 though!

And it’s not like the love ever did die!

You could just be talking out of your arse

**Wormy**

Well I’m not

And don’t mention anything to Padfoot and Moony please?

I know I’ll get shredded for it

**Prongs**

Ha

You’re prob right

I won’t say anything

Ah fuck

I can hear vomiting

Talk later Wormy!

**Wormy**

Right

And tell Effie happy birthday from me!

* * *

**Private Message**

**Prong**

Mate

Tell me you’re on your way back?

Rem is not doing great

He needs his steak bake

**Padfoo**

I’m leaving Greggs now

And I got a massive donut for Mum

The one with the colourful sprinkles she likes

Bless Remus though

We’ve all been there

**Prong**

Yeah but

Rem usually has some sort of self control

His dad keeps messaging as well

I don’t know what to do

He sounds fuming

**Padfoo**

Shit

Moony said his dad would be away for the weekend?

Not sure how he knows about last night

**Prong**

Tbf

I wouldn’t be surprised if Hope told him

We didn’t leave Ben’s until one

And Remus hadn’t texted her at all

She must’ve been crapping herself

**Padfoo**

Yeah maybe

Moony is gonna be in for it though

Should we have just taken him home?

**Prong**

I don’t think so

I don’t think Rem would’ve wanted his mum seeing him plastered

His dad probably isn’t bothered about that though

He knows Moony was drunk and that he was out until one

That alone is bad enough

**Padfoo**

Fuck

What can we do?

Can we do anything?

**Prong**

Let’s just get him fed first

He’s stopped vomiting now

And we’ll sort it out with him when he’s more himself

**Padfoo**

Okay

That sounds good

I feel terrible Prongsie

I was the one encouraging him to get pissed

**Prong**

It’s not your fault mate

Rem obvs wanted to get drunk anyway

We didn’t think his dad was gonna be an issue

Anyway

I was looking after him

I should’ve taken him home earlier

**Padfoo**

I don’t think anyone left before twelve honestly

It’s not your fault either

Let’s just get our Moony sorted before we start thinking about anything else

**Prong**

Yes

Let’s

See you in a few

**Padfoo**

Xx

* * *

**uptown girls**

**Mary**

Hey girlies

How are we all doing today?

We still on for roller-skating?

**Lils**

Yes definitely

Is it alright if I come to yours early M?

Tunia isn’t up yet

And I really don’t want to deal with her this morn

**Mary**

Yeah Lil that’s fine

Ben has just dropped me home

So you’re all welcome whenever you like

**Dorcas**

How was last night Lily??

We didn’t hear from you!

Marls said James had to pick you up?!

**Lils**

Yeah he did

It was really terrible guys

I’ll explain when we’re all at Mary’s

**Mary**

Sorry Lils

That was so sweet of James though

**Dorcas**

He’s a right sweetheart

Bet he loved that though

Swooping in to save the damsel in distress

**Lils**

As much as I want to deny being a damsel in distress

I really was :/

I’ll have to thank him again

Is Marls alive this morn?

**Marls**

Barely

Still up for roller-skating though

What time D?

**Dorcas**

2pm

We have a bit of time to get sorted

What time shall I say for Em to come to yours Mary?

Half 4 maybe?

**Mary**

Yeah that sounds okay

You sure she wants to come?

I feel like we’ve ruined a date or something

**Dorcas**

Def not M

She wants to come

See you all later then pals x

**Mary**

See you x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Marls**

Hi love

How are you this morn?

**Rems**

I actually think I’m half dead

**Marls**

Well at least you’re alive enough to message

Jesus Rems

You didn’t hold back last night did you?

**Rems**

Please Marls

I’ve already had this conversation with James 

**Marls**

Okay then

We are okay aren’t we?

**Rems**

Yeah we’re fine

**Marls**

Okay

You did apologise though for the other night

And I did too but

I guess I just want to say sorry again

While you can actually comprehend what I’m saying

**Rems**

It’s okay Marls

I’m sorry too

I just didn’t like what you were insinuating

**Marls**

What?

Remus

I said I wasn’t insinuating anything

**Rems**

Well you were

**Marls**

Oh for fuck’s sake Remus

What are you apologising for then?

**Rems**

For not answering your messages?

**Marls**

Well that wasn’t the issue!

Bloody hell

Look

All I said is that it was fine if you didn’t like girls

All you had to say was ‘that’s not the case, but thanks’ and it would’ve never been brought up again

Do you have an issue with it or something?

**Rems**

With what?

**Marls**

With people being gay??

Or me maybe?

**Rems**

What the fuck?

No Marlene

Of course I don’t

**Marls**

Well forgive me

Cause it sounds a bit like you do

**Rems**

You’ve taken this the complete wrong way

**Marls**

No Remus

YOU have

You said last night that you were glad I said what I did!

**Rems**

Well like you said

I was drunk

I couldn’t comprehend what you were saying

**Marls**

Oh piss off

You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it

Drunk or sober

I don’t know what your issue is Remus

But I’m not having this argument again

**Rems**

Don’t then

**Marls**

God

You’re such a bloody git

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Hey

What was wrong with you this morning?

You were fine

And then all of a sudden you’d started getting pissy with James

He was only trying to help you know

**Moons**

Look Sirius

I’m just not in the mood for this right now

**Pads**

Well I can tell!

What’s up? Is it your dad?

Has he said something?

**Moons**

He’s had a lot to say this morning, yes

**Pads**

Shit Moons

Maybe my parents can talk to him?

There were people way worse off than you last night anyway

And you stayed at ours! He knows we’re your friends

Surely he can’t be that annoyed

**Moons**

Well he is

None of that is going to change anything Sirius

Just leave it

**Pads**

But you haven’t done anything wrong

**Moons**

Doesn’t matter

**Pads**

It does!

It’s not fair

**Moons**

Well we don’t all have lovely fair parents like the Potters do we?

**Pads**

Moony

Are you annoyed with me?

**Moons**

Ffs

Not everything is about you, you know

**Pads**

Right

Well I guess I’ll take the hint and fuck off then.

* * *

**Private Message**

**Jam**

Hi mate

I think you’ve upset Sirius quite a bit

I don’t know what’s up exactly but

You know we just want to help you?

If you’re feeling shit about this morning then that’s fine but

When you’re ready can you please talk to us?

Sirius especially

Always here mate x

* * *

**new chat**

**_Marls_ ** _added_ **_Lils_ ** _and_ **_Mary_ ** _to the chat._

**Marls**

Look I’m just going to say it

Is it just me

Or does Emmeline look like she’d rather be anywhere else?

**Lils**

I’m glad someone has said it

She looks miserable

Do you think she’s annoyed we essentially cancelled her date with D?

**Mary**

I thought she wouldn’t be happy

Dorcas didn’t think it’d be an issue though?

**Lils**

She knows her best I guess

I don’t know

Emmeline does like us doesn’t she?

**Mary**

I hope so

We haven’t ever done anything to make her think otherwise?

Should we say something to D?

**Marls**

I don’t think so

What are we meant to say?

‘Dorcas, your girlfriend looks bloody miserable. Does she even want to be here? Does she even like us?’

**Lils**

Ffs

No Marls

We’d say something like

‘Dorcas, is Emmeline okay? We think she looks a bit uncomfortable, she doesn’t have to stay if she doesn’t want to.’

??

**Marls**

Well

Same principle isn’t it

I guess we’ll just have to bask in the awkwardness for another hour or so

Shall I put some vodka in our juice to make it less painful?

**Mary**

Marls!

How about I stick a film on?

Everyone likes films

**Marls**

At this rate

If we end up picking Em’s least favourite movie ever

I won’t be surprised

**Lils**

Lmao

Don’t say that Marls

That sounds good Mary

I’m gonna stop texting now

This looks really suspicious

**Mary**

It does doesn’t it

Hurry up Marls

We’re thirsty

**Marls**

Patience my dears

Omw

* * *

**Private Message**

**Jame**

Hiya Marl

Have you spoken to Rem today?

**Marl**

Yes

We had a very unpleasant convo

**Jame**

Shit

I thought you two sorted things out?

**Marl**

Well drunk Remus and I did

Then we talked again this morning and he was back to being pissed off

I tried to talk to him James

If I’ve put him in a mood then I’m sorry but

I’m really annoyed with him

**Jame**

Look

I think he’s having a bit of a shit time right now

His dad’s really pissed off about last night

He hasn’t been answering my messages

And he’s put Sirius in a right fettle as well

If been he’s arguing with you, his dad and Sirius

On top of stressing about school and uni stuff

I think we should lay off him a bit

**Marl**

Ffs

Well he’s just as annoyed at me as I am at him

I don’t know what you want me to do

**Jame**

Just please try and talk to him?

Not even tonight

You have history with him tomorrow don’t you?

Try then

I know you’re not happy with him but

I think he needs his friends right now

I’m gonna talk to Sirius as well

You can all sort out your tiffs with him when he’s in a better frame of mind okay?

**Marl**

Fine

I’ll try and speak to him tomorrow

I can’t make any promises though

**Jame**

As long as you try

Thanks Marl

* * *

**Private Message**

**Prong**

Pads

Are you okay?

You haven’t gone to bed yet

**Padfoo**

How do you know?

**Prong**

I’m telepathic aren’t I?

Also

Your lamp light is lighting up the hallway

**Padfoo**

Sorry

I’ll turn it off

**Prong**

It’s fine mate

Are you alright though?

**Padfoo**

Yeah

**Prong**

Do you want me to come in?

**Padfoo**

You’re alright Prongs

It’s just

Why did he have to go and say that about your parents?

As if I didn’t have to move in with you because mine were absolute lunatics

**Prong**

Pads

First of all

OUR parents

Secondly

He’s had a really shit day

I doubt he meant to be nasty

You know Rem wouldn’t be that insensitive

**Padfoo**

Well he was

And I think he did want to be nasty

He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t want me to just fuck off

**Prong**

What he said was out of order, I agree

We can talk to him about it alright?

After he comes around a bit on his own

We’ll see how he is tomorrow

Please don’t dwell on it Pads

**Padfoo**

Hmm

Whatever

**Prong**

Pads

Do you want a cuddle?

**Padfoo**

Yes please

**Prong**

Omw x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dumplings are fighting and it’s painful


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sort-of apologies, and a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating quickly through the angsty chapters so we can get back to the nice stuff! i’m not built for angst tbh

**Private Message**

**Lily**

Hey

What the hell’s going on?

Has something happened?

Half our group seems really off

**James**

Oh Evans

You don’t know the half of it

Tbh

I don’t really know what’s going on

Is Marlene okay?

**Lily**

She’s a bit moody today

Why? What’s happened with Marls?

**James**

I don’t know if I should be talking about any of this

It’s not really my business

**Lily**

You and your morals Potter

Is there anything I can do though?

**James**

I don’t think so

I’m hoping this’ll all blow over in a bit

**Lily**

Well I hope so too

Are you alright anyway?

I already know you’re trying to sort everyone and everything out

**James**

Haha

I’m okay

I just want everyone to be friends

**Lily**

I know you do

Bless

But if everything gets a bit much James

You know you can always talk to me?

**James**

Thanks Lily

I appreciate that

At this rate

I might be taking you up on it

I wish we could all just get along

You know

No drama

**Lily**

Yeah

It would be nice wouldn’t it?

I guess we all just have our own stuff going on

And it’s hard to keep track of when there’s eight of us

We’re all bound to snap a bit eventually

**James**

Yeah

I just wish we could all sort each other out you know?

I don’t like that any of us might be dealing with stuff

And I’m not helping when I could be

**Lily**

You know you don’t have to and solve everyone’s problems James

**James**

Doesn’t mean I can’t try to though

**Lily**

What are you doing after school today?

I was gonna go to Mary’s but

I’m sure she won’t miss me

If you fancy going for a coffee somewhere?

**James**

Are you sure?

**Lily**

Yeah

If you want to

**James**

Well yeah

That sounds really nice

Meet in the car park later?

**Lily**

Sounds good

**James**

Okay

Thanks Lily

You’re really amazing

**Lily**

Ahhh

So are you James

See you soon x

**James**

See you x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Jame**

Any luck with Rem?

**Marl**

Nope

I did try James

But whenever I try to reason with him he just bites back

And I’m not letting my own guard down just for the sake of appeasing him

**Jame**

Marl

What did we say about leaving tiffs alone until he’s more himself?

**Marl**

Whatever James

I know he’s got his own shit to deal with

But that doesn’t mean he can be an arse to me when he fancies

**Jame**

Okay then

Do you at least know where he got off to for lunch?

**Marl**

No

**Jame**

Right

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

Hey

Look

I’m still a bit pissed off with you honestly

But James is going out after school

And I’m guessing you don’t really want to go back home

So you’re welcome to come back to mine if you want

I’ll wait in the car park for you later

If you’re not bothered, that’s fine

Just giving you the option

**Moons**

I’m not allowed out after school or on weekends anymore

Sorry

**Pads**

Oh

That’s really shit

I’m sorry

**Moons**

Yeah

**Pads**

Do you want to talk about it?

**Moons**

Not really

**Pads**

Okay

**Moons**

I’m sorry for what I said yesterday

I can’t really talk about things right now

But I feel shit about it

**Pads**

It’s okay

Well it’s not really but

When you’re ready though

You can talk to me

Please don’t go silent on us again though?

**Moons**

I’ll try not to

**Pads**

Alright

See you tomorrow then Moony

* * *

**Private Message**

**Padfoo**

James

He’s not allowed out at all anymore

Even after school

I mean

What the fuck?

**Prong**

You talked to Rem?

**Padfoo**

Briefly

He said he doesn’t want to talk about stuff yet

But he said he was sorry for what he said yesterday

**Prong**

Okay

That’s good

Bloody hell though

That’s really harsh

**Padfoo**

Can’t his mum do something?

Does she even know how his dad’s treating him??

**Prong**

Hey

Calm down

It might not be permanent

Maybe it’s just for a week or so?

**Padfoo**

But he didn’t say that

He said he wasn’t allowed out ‘anymore’

As in forever!

**Prong**

Pads

You’re jumping to really far conclusions here

Are you okay?

Do you want me to come back?

**Padfoo**

No I’m fine

You’re out with Evans

Don’t let me be a cockblock

**Prong**

Tosser

You know I’ll come back if you need me to

**Padfoo**

God Prongs

I’m not a child

I can look after myself

**Prong**

I didn’t say you couldn’t

How about Lily comes back as well?

We can all watch a film or something

It’ll take your mind off things for a while

**Padfoo**

I don’t want a distraction

I want to help Remus

**Prong**

I know mate

But right now

We can’t do anything helpful

Not until Moony wants to talk, okay?

**Padfoo**

Fine

**Prong**

Okay

I’ll bring you a coffee back

**Padfoo**

Thanks James

Love you

**Prong**

Love you mate x

Shan’t be long

* * *

**Private Message**

**Jame**

You Miss McKinnon

Have been feeding me lies

**Marl**

Why do all of our conversations have to start so ominously

What are you on about?

**Jame**

Lily’s favourite film is…

**Marl**

The Holiday…

**Jame**

Wrong!

**Marl**

Excuse me

No it’s not

She loves The Holiday

**Jame**

Yeah

She said it’s her favourite feel-good film

But her ACTUAL favourite film is The Great Gatsby

**Marl**

Huh

Ngl

I feel a bit lied to myself

**Jame**

She said she thinks it’s mad but sweet

Gatsby throwing all those parties just for Daisy

Tbh

I’d prob do that for Lily

If it was the 20s

**Marl**

You would as well

You and your dramatics

**Jame**

So…

**Marl**

Look James

I’m not really in the mood

**Jame**

Fine

You owe me a fact about MM though!

Just to let you know

Rem has messaged Sirius

With an apology

The start of one anyway

**Marl**

Lovely

At least he’s sorry about one argument

**Jame**

I’m saying that he’s making a start

It’s only been a day since everything kicked off

Cut him some slack will you Marl?

**Marl**

You don’t even know why I’m annoyed James

Can you just let me be pissed off?

**Jame**

You’re right

I don’t know why you’re annoyed

And you don’t have to tell me

But I think your argument is honestly bugging him more than the situation with his dad

**Marl**

So this is my fault then

**Jame**

No Marlene

It’s nobody’s fault

But you’re the only one who knows what’s going on between you and Rem

So really you’re the only one that can sort it out with him properly

**Marl**

Well I don’t want to

**Jame**

Come on Marl

This can’t go on forever

**Marl**

Well it can until he apologises

**Jame**

You’re being stubborn

**Marl**

So is he!

But for him it’s ‘cut him some slack’ and for me it’s ‘you need to sort it out’

At least pretend like you’re not playing favourites

**Jame**

You are joking?

I don’t even know what’s going on!

I can’t take sides if I don’t even know what the sides are

**Marl**

Ffs James

You know what

If you really want a fucking fact about MM

Then here you are

MM isn’t a ‘monsieur’ at all

MM is a girl

And Remus said something the other day that really rubbed me the wrong way

And the fact he hasn’t apologised yet doesn’t make me feel any fucking better

Is that good enough for you? Can you pick a side now?

**Jame**

Marl?

It’s late

We can talk tomorrow okay?

I’ll message you in the morn x


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has his own revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there’ll be discussions of sexuality/sexual confusion in this chapter, just in case anybody feels uncomfortable with reading that!

**Private Message**

**Jame**

Morning Marl

Can we talk please?

**Marl**

Sure

**Jame**

I guess I’ll start then

Firstly

You didn’t have to tell me about the MM thing, in case you felt like you had to just to make me understand

But obvs you have now

And that’s obvs totally fine

I’m glad that you’ve told me

Secondly

It has made me understand properly why you’re upset

And I understand why you’d don’t want to talk to R

I don’t know what he said

And if it’s upset you then Rem should definitely apologise for that

He’s obvs upset as well for a reason though

So I don’t really know where to go from here

**Marl**

Jesus

Well I’m not pissed with you or anything Jame

I’m sorry for going off a bit last night

I did want to tell you

You know

That I fancy girls

Because Christ it was annoying watching you call MM a ‘he’

And I’ve been wanting to tell all of you but

It’s just a really big step you know?

So only Remus knew

And now you obvs

But we should probably leave that convo for now

As for R

I don’t know what to do either

We’ve had the same argument twice

And I don’t want to have it a third time

I don’t think he’s homophobic or anything

He’s been fine since I came out to him

I have no idea what’s going on tbh

**Jame**

Well

At least we’re sort of on the same page now

To be honest

I think what he needs is time

He told Sirius he couldn’t talk about things right now

Maybe he wasn’t just talking about his dad?

There might be other stuff going on that we don’t know about

Maybe we just need to wait for him to come to us?

**Marl**

Maybe

But that doesn’t sort anything

I’m still gonna have to sit next to him in history this week

And it’s gonna be painfully awkward

**Jame**

Honestly Marl

I would leave him for now

He will come around

You two are like two peas in a pod

Two very stubborn peas

**Marl**

Hmm

**Jame**

Really though

Him as S had a bit of a spat but

Rem did apologise

I would give him a bit of time

I’ll try and talk to him as well

**Marl**

I feel bad James

In the nicest way possible

This isn’t your problem to sort

**Jame**

Well in the nicest way possible Marl

None of you seem to be getting anywhere fast without my meddling

**Marl**

Fair enough

Right

I’m leaving for school in 5

Talk soon okay?

**Jame**

Yep x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Prong**

How’s English lit?

**Padfoo**

Quiet

He said hi when he sat down but

He looks tired Prongs

Like he hasn’t been sleeping well

I just wish he’d talk to us

We have no idea what’s going on when he’s at home

**Prong**

I know Pads

I think Marl has stood down a bit anyway

Hopefully they’ll be sorted soon

**Padfoo**

What are they even arguing about?

Can’t Marlene just talk to him?

He’s clearly miserable

**Prong**

I think there’s two sides to their argument mate

**Padfoo**

I just hate seeing him like this

**Prong**

I know

Me too

There’s no better healer than time though

And he knows we’re here when he wants to talk

**Padfoo**

Yeah

Gotta go

See you later x

**Prong**

Xx

  
  


* * *

**Private Message**

**Moons**

Can I call you?

**Pads**

Yeah of course

Is everything okay?

**Moons**

I don’t really know

**Pads**

I’m going to call you now okay?

Two seconds

_ Calling… _

“Moony?”

“Sirius.”

“Hi, are you alri—?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Look, you don’t need to—”

“I do. God, I’ve been such a shit friend these last few days. To you and James and Marls—”

“You haven’t, Moony. It’s— You’ve been dealing with stuff. Shit happens, you know?”

“I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I’m... I don’t know, normal?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Remus.”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Okay… is this about your dad?”

“No… yes? Yes and no.”

“Let’s start there then, yeah? Has he really confined you to the house forever?”

“Not forever, just two weeks.”

“Shit… still, Moony. That’s brutal. Does your mum not think it’s mental?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“She doesn’t know I’m not allowed out, and I’m not allowed to tell her. Dad’s orders.”

“Remus… that’s not okay. That’s completely  _ fucked _ .”

“Mm.”

“Can’t you say something to her? Surely she’ll believe you.”

“I can’t.”

“Moony… he wouldn’t hurt you if you did, would he?”

“God, no. He wouldn’t… no. He’s not like that.”

“Okay, but wouldn’t your mum want to know?”

“Pads, she’s not going to find out. I don’t really know what he’d do if I told, to be honest. I don’t really want to find out though. It’s only two weeks, anyway.”

“Still... Remus, what’s the other thing?”

“What other thing?”

“You said there was something wrong with you. What does that mean?

“Just… I don’t know, Marlene…”

“Is this about your argument with her? Did she say something?”

“...”

“Moony, please talk to me.”

“Pads?”

“Yeah?”

“...I’ve never liked girls, have I?”

“Er, well… you’ve never been out with a girl, I guess. But  _ loads _ of lads haven’t—”

“No, but every lad has fancied one. You and James and Pete...”

“We’re only three people, Moons.”

“No… I mean I’ve never  _ ever _ liked them.”

“Okay, well that’s fine. You might just not have met a girl you liked yet, and that’s—”

“Sirius. I’m not… I’m not interested in finding a girl I like. That’s— Thats what’s wrong with me.”

“Oh… okay. So, you’re not interested  _ ever _ ?”

“It’s weird, isn’t it? I don’t know _why_ I’m like this, I didn’t choose—”

“Fuck, Moons. You don’t have to  _ defend _ yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not weird.”

“I don’t know. It’s just— I’m not— You don’t understand.”

“No, Moony, I… I  _ do _ understand.”

“No, you don’t. For fuck’s sake, I’m being stupid. I should just go... Sorry, Pads.”

“Wait, Moony—!”

_ Call ended. _

**Pads**

Moony

Please call back

**Moons**

I don’t really want to talk about this anymore

Sorry

**Pads**

Okay

But you know there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve just told me?

Obviously the stuff about your dad is another story

But the other thing

There’s nothing wrong with it

There’s nothing wrong with you

**Moons**

Can you please not tell the others?

**Pads**

Of course I won’t

But if you ever want to talk about it

You can talk to me

Always

**Moons**

Honestly Pads

I’d rather just forget this conversation

And the past four days

**Pads**

Okay

Well we can do that too

But if you ever do want to talk about it again

**Moons**

I’m sorry

I feel like I’ve caused so much shit

I bet Marlene hates me now

**Pads**

She won’t hate you

Can I ask

Was your argument to do with what we were talking about?

**Moons**

Yes

**Pads**

Right

She didn’t say anything did she?

Like something awful

**Moons**

She didn’t

That argument was my fault really

I don’t really know how to sort it out though

Without telling her what’s going on with me

**Pads**

Moony

Would it be so bad if you did tell her?

**Moons**

I don’t know

**Pads**

Well

If you’re not sure how to approach Marlene for now

I think you should message James first

He’s worried about you Moons

I mean we both were

**Moons**

I’ll message James

I’m sorry

For worrying you

I’ve been a right dramatic sod haven’t I?

**Pads**

Are you forgetting who you’re talking to?

I know Prongs told you about the cocker-spaniel incident

Still gives me the shivers

Are you gonna be okay though?

**Moons**

Don’t really have a choice do I?

I have other things to be worried about anyway

**Pads**

Yeah but

You went really quiet the last few days

Did talking about it help at all?

**Moons**

I think so

Yeah

**Pads**

Well good

I just don’t want that happening again

Where you go quiet

And don’t think you can talk to anyone

**Moons**

It’s hard sometimes

**Pads**

I know

You remember year 11 don’t you?

The nightmare it was

Especially the months before I ran away

**Moons**

Of course I do

It was terrible

**Pads**

Yeah

But then you would Facetime me on a night

And do your homework while I talked to you about everything

And then you’d let me copy from your homework

After I’d finished crying rivers

I don’t know how I would’ve done it without you Moony

**Moons**

Really?

**Pads**

Really really

Talking is good

And you can talk to me

Or James or Marlene or whoever you’d prefer

It’s better than keeping everything bottled up

**Moons**

I like talking to you 

**Pads**

Good

I like talking to you too

**Moons**

I should text James

**Pads**

Yeah

Put his poor mind at rest

He’s like a second mother

**Moons**

Bless

Thanks though Pads

For everything

**Pads**

No problemo Moonbeam

Can we talk tomorrow?

When you’re on the bus

**Moons**

I’d like that

**Pads**

Great!

See you tomoz xx

**Moons**

X

* * *

**Private Message**

**Rem**

Hi Prongs

I’m really sorry

About everything

**Jam**

Hiya Moony

No need for apologies

It’s been a shit few days

You feeling better tonight?

**Rem**

Yeah

I’m guessing S told you about my dad

**Jam**

Yeah

I’m sorry mate

I should’ve got you home earlier

I was meant to be looking after you

**Rem**

Don’t you go apologising either Prongs

You didn’t do anything wrong 

My dad’s just

You know

**Jam**

Well I’m glad you’re feeling better

Everyone has their bad days

We were just worried after you went quiet

And then had a bit of a tiff with your best mates

**Rem**

No I understand

Have you talked to Marlene?

**Jam**

Quite a bit yeah

Not gonna lie Rem

She was really pissed

I think she’s calmed down a bit today

But still

**Rem**

I know

I need to talk to her

**Jam**

Well when you do

I think she’s ready to have a proper conversation

**Rem**

Good

You’ve been trying to sort this all out haven’t you?

**Jam**

Well

Yeah

**Rem**

You’re a really good mate James

Better than I deserve

Especially after this weekend

**Jam**

Ahh shut up Rem

I’d do anything for you

And the others

You’ve just had a rough few days

Nothing to be ashamed of

**Rem**

Right

**Jam**

Thanks for talking to S as well

He looks a lot happier with himself

He really cares about you

I mean we all do but

He gets proper irked when you’re upset

**Rem**

Well he can stop worrying now

I’ll try to be less unpleasant this week

**Jam**

If there’s stuff still going on though

With your dad or whatever

You’re allowed to still be upset about it

Just talk to us yeah?

**Rem**

Yeah

Thanks Prongs

**Jam**

No bother pal

Fancy a Starbs in the morning?

I’ll get you a cookie as well

**Rem**

Are you sure?

**Jam**

Certain Moony

**Rem**

Well that sounds grand

Thanks x

**Jam**

See you tomorrow R x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Rems**

Marls?

**Marls**

Hi

**Rems**

Hi

I’m sorry

**Marls**

You’re sorry

**Rems**

Incredibly

**Marls**

Okay

For what?

**Rem**

For how I’ve been acting

I really did appreciate what you said

The not liking girls thing

I got really defensive about it

And I know that came off in an atrocious way

I don’t have an issue with you at all Marls

And I know you weren’t trying to insinuate anything

You were just being a good friend

And I was acting like too much of a tosser to see that

**Marls**

Well okay

I just don’t understand why you took it so personally

I know you’re saying you don’t have an issue but

Christ Rems

You were doing a shit job of showing it

**Rems**

You were right

**Marls**

What?

**Rems**

I think I took it so personally because you were right

I am opposed to romance

But only with girls

If you get me

**Marls**

Oh

Yeah I get you

That certainly clears things up a bit I think

**Rems**

Yep

**Marls**

Jesus Rems

I don’t know how to feel now

I really thought you’d done a 180 on me

**Rems**

Definitely not Marls

I guess I just didn’t know what to think

I still don’t really know what to think honestly

**Marls**

You’ve really never given it any thought?

**Rems**

Before you brought it up?

Not really

I thought I was just broken or something

**Marls**

God Rems

You’re def not broken

**Rems**

I don’t really want it to be a big deal

**Marls**

Right

That’s fine Remus

**Rems**

Really?

**Marls**

Of course it is

I didn’t want it to be a massive thing either

Partly why I’ve only told two people

**Rems**

Two?

**Marls**

Oh yeah

James knows now

He’s obvs not bothered

**Rems**

Well that’s good

I’m proud of you

**Marls**

Sap

I’m proud of you too though Rems

I know this stuff is hard

Nobody really tells you how to deal with it

**Rems**

Yeah

Do you think it’s odd

That I never really knew until now?

Or maybe I’ve always known

I don’t even know what I know

**Marls**

It’s not weird at all

I think it took me realising I fancied Dorcas to fully know honestly

So I guess one good thing as come out of this stupid thing for her

**Rems**

And you just knew lads didn’t do it for you?

**Marls**

Pretty much

I’ve snogged lads before obvs

But none of those experiences were very enjoyable

That def helped sort some things out

**Rems**

Hmm

**Marls**

We could snog if you wanted

I won’t be offended if you hate every second of it

**Rems**

I think I’ll decline that offer Marls

I appreciate the sentiment though

**Marls**

Yeah well

What are friends for?

We’re okay now aren’t we?

**Rems**

Yeah

I’m sorry again

I feel like a git

**Marls**

Let’s just put it behind us Rems

Obvs when we had that argument

The circumstances were a bit different

**Rems**

Yeah

**Marls**

You said you don’t want this to be a big deal

Shall I not mention it again then?

Obvs you can

Whenever you want to

**Rems**

That sounds good

**Marls**

We can stick to talking about my gay crisis

I’ll take one for the team

**Rems**

How brave of you

**Marls**

I know

Speaking of

There was this girl at Ben’s party

I think she got the Gay Vibe from me

Because she may have given me her number??

**Rems**

Marls!

That’s great

I guess I have to ask though

Dorcas…?

**Marls**

That’s the thing

I do still fancy her

Like the idiot I am

I’m stuck between whether texting this girl would maybe help me get over D

Or whether it’s just make me like her more

So

As you can see

I’m a bit frazzled

**Rems**

It can’t hurt to start texting her can it?

Did you talk much at the party?

**Marls**

A bit

Before I had to come and pick you up out of the front garden

**Rems**

Ahh

Sorry Marls

**Marls**

Lmao

Don’t worry about it

She seemed nice though

**Rems**

I think you’d regret it if you never tried messaging her

I would go for it Marls

**Marls**

You’re right Rems

I’ll text her tomorrow

It’s a bit late now

It’s midnight??

Why did you message me at midnight

**Rems**

Why are you responding at midnight?

**Marls**

Touché

Well

As fun as it’s been

I need a kip

And I need to contemplate what to text that girl tomorrow

**Rems**

I would offer to wingman

But I don’t think I’d be ideal for the job

James would prob be better

**Marls**

He’d be so up for it as well

Might have to make a gc

‘People who know I’m gay’

**Rems**

So you can force us to experience your gay crisis’ with you?

**Marls**

Well I was thinking more for moral support

But if you’re gonna be negative about it

**Rems**

Sorry

I totally meant for moral support

**Marls**

Yeah yeah

Git

Okay I’m actually sleeping now

Time for you to go away xx

**Rems**

Charming xx

**Marls**

Love you really Rems xx

**Rems**

Mm xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i think that’s the end of the angst... for now :)
> 
> proud of our rem though!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween, and general group chat antics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> halloween will be split into 2 chapters because i didn’t realise how long i’d made this part lmao. enjoy!

**dumplings**

**Dorcas**

Happy Halloween my dumplings!

Or should I say… spooky dumplings?

**Pete**

I don’t think dumplings can be spooky

**Lily**

Yeah

Isn’t the whole point that they’re soft and fluffy?

**Marlene**

Dumplings are meant to be soft and fluffy?

My mum has been making them horrendously wrong then

**Sirius**

Ha

Mumma makes some cracking dumplings

I reckon they can be spooky!

If you put some icing on them

Like red eyes and sharp teeth

**Marlene**

Ergh

I think I’d rather have rock solid dumplings

Icing does not belong on a dumpling

**Sirius**

Well have you ever tried it?

**Marlene**

No?

I bet you have

You weirdo

**Sirius**

I haven’t actually

I am tempted now though

**Dorcas**

ANYWAY

I’ve just realised we’ve made no plans!

Is no one having a party?

**Mary**

Gid and Fab usually do Halloween parties don’t they?

**Dorcas**

Not allowed this year apparently!

They’re having a family thing I think this year

Molly’s orders

**Marlene**

Well if I’m not drunk in approximately 12 hours time

I’ll be a bit pissed off ngl

**Dorcas**

We’ll sort something cariads <3

* * *

**the spice boys**

**Padfoot**

I know D is discussing parties

But are you still imprisoned today Moony?

**Moony**

Yep

Until Monday

**Padfoot**

That’s before my birthday though!

Who cares about Halloween anyway?

Stupid celebration in my opinion

**Moony**

Pads

You love Halloween

**Wormtail**

Yeah

We had a four day Halloween celebration last year because of you

There was only Gid and Fab’s party on the last night

But somehow we ended up drinking every night??

**Padfoot**

You have to admit

Watching The Shining drunk was a bit funny

**Wormtail**

I’m still scarred

**Padfoot**

Course you are

You massive wuss

**Wormtail**

Git

As if you didn’t make Prongs hold your hand

**Moony**

I’m just saying Pads

If you guys want a party that’s fine

I’m sure Dorcas or Mary can have one at theirs

I’ll be perfectly fine at home

With a scary movie

In the comfort of my own bed

**Padfoot**

No Moony!

We’re not doing Halloween without you

Fuck the party

I’m not bothered

**Moony**

Well then

What’s your great idea then?

I can’t go anywhere

You can’t come here

???

**Wormtail**

Hey

Where’s Prongs?

**Padfoot**

Sorting out his costume

He’s demands to have one even if we’re not going out

His Halloween spirit is incredible

Can we really not come over Moony?

**Moony**

I don’t think so

I don’t feel like asking really

**Padfoot**

Ffs Moons

Can I message Hope?

I’m gonna message Hope

**Moony**

No you’re not

Also

Where the fuck did you get my mum’s number?

**Padfoot**

At prinks!

Before Ben’s

She said if we were in any trouble

To give her a text

Bless her heart

**Moony**

You do have a way with mums Pads

For some reason

They always love you

**Wormtail**

Yeah Sirius

My mum’s wondering when you’re all coming over next

Mainly because she wants to talk to you about your art

She loves stuff like that

Doesn’t give a toss about ‘nerd’ subjects at all!

**Padfoot**

Ahhh really?!

You tell Penny I’ll pop over soon Pete

Did she ever finish painting those old vases?

**Wormtail**

Sirius

I don’t know

She doesn’t talk to me about this stuff

**Padfoot**

Ugh

I’ll have to ask her myself then

Also

Guys

We never discussed our Spice Girls personas!

We did Mean Girls back in the day

But since we’ve rebranded...

**Wormtail**

Ah Christ

**Padfoot**

I’ll start

Though she’s not a spice boy per se

I think we can all agree that Evans has to be Ginger Spice

**Wormtail**

Agreed

Though we do have the issue of who Posh Spice is

**Moony**

Oh S is def posh spice

He has that Victoria Beckham vibe about him

**Padfoot**

What does that mean??

I’ll take Posh Spice

But not as an insult??

**Moony**

Not an insult

You have the Posh Spice glam I think

**Padfoot**

I am just so glamorous aren’t I

I’ll take that

As for you Moons…

You’re prob Scary Spice

**Wormtail**

I was thinking that tbh

The others don’t really fit you

And I think you can be scary sometimes

**Moony**

You’re joking

When am I ever scary?

**Padfoot**

Have you seen yourself after an exam Moons?

Honestly

One wrong move and I’m scared you’ll shove me down the stairs

**Moony**

I just get stressed!

And it doesn’t help when you’re all yelling at me asking what I wrote for whatever question

**Padfoot**

Soz Moons

Will keep that in mind

Anyway

You’re Scary Spice

**Moony**

Okay then

**Padfoot**

I think you’ll have to be Baby Spice Wormy

I mean

You’re both blond

**Wormtail**

Well I’m not sporty am I?

I’ll take it

**Padfoot**

Fab

Which leaves Prongs with Sporty Spice

Which works

He goes running every Sunday morning

**Wormtail**

Does he really?

What a wanker

**Padfoot**

I know

I’ve made him swear not to wake me up at a god awful time when he’s getting ready to go

Or there’ll be hell on

Anyway

Now that’s established!

I’ll have to skedaddle

Moony

Await a message from yours truly

You will not be spending Halloween alone Scary Spice!

**Moony**

Okay Posh Spice

I disagree with that

But I’ll await your message nonetheless

**Wormtail**

Wait

What’s James’s costume?

**Padfoot**

All in due time mate!

Talk later spices!

* * *

**Private Message**

**Moons**

You actually messaged my mother

You weirdo

Why did you ask for everyone to come over?

We can not accommodate 8 people Pads

**Pads**

Sure you can!

You really underestimate the size of your house

Also how willing some of us will be to snuggle

**Moons**

Ffs

Well she doesn’t think it’s such a bad idea

As long as people can head home later on

I don’t think she likes the idea of so many people sleeping in one little room

**Pads**

That’s fine!

**Moons**

Also

There’s then my dad

**Pads**

Ahh

The final boss we have to defeat

**Moons**

Yes

Mum has spoken to him

He’s not happy

I think he’s going out with his mates from work for the night

But I guess because I’m not going out

He’s not too pissed?

**Pads**

The hypocrite!

He better be back by 11 then

Or he’ll be getting a strict talking to from me

**Moons**

God

The horror

**Pads**

Perfect for Halloween!

I can’t believe we’re doing Halloween at Moony’s!

I’m sooo excited

**Moons**

Sometimes I really can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic about loving my house so much

**Pads**

No sarcasm here

I love love love your house

Ahhh

Can I text the gc??

**Moons**

Go on then

Since you seem to be planning this whole thing

**Pads**

:)))))

* * *

**dumplings**

**Sirius**

Avengers…

**Mary**

?

**Sirius**

Oh come on

You’re meant to say assemble!

**Dorcas**

Aren’t you meant to say assemble Siri?

You dafty

**Sirius**

Well I thought somebody would’ve finished the saying for me

**Dorcas**

Thats not how Captain America did it

**Sirius**

ANYWAY

No party tonight lads

Well unless we’re considering a lavish night in the Lupin home a party

Which we so are!

**Dorcas**

Oooh

I’ve never been to Remus’s before!

**Lily**

And what would this lavish night entail exactly?

Does Remus have any input in this?

**Remus**

Remus does not

**Sirius**

Remus is very excited

So excited that he can’t possibly convey all the emotions through text 

**Remus**

Obviously

**Sirius**

And to answer your question Lilster

I actually haven’t got as far as planning that yet

Maybe we can all put in some ideas!

**Marlene**

I will be first to suggest drinking then

**Remus**

No

**Sirius**

Yes!

What?

Moony!

**Remus**

This isn’t a party

Why do we need to be drinking

**Lily**

Ahh come on R

Just for the crack?

**Dorcas**

Always the voice of reason until it comes to alcohol aren’t you Evans?

I personally am not that bothered

**Sirius**

Let’s do a vote

All in favour of no alcohol tonight?

**Remus**

Me

**Mary**

Me tbh

Someone will end up throwing up

**Pete**

Me

I only drink for courage

I don’t think I’ll need any in the comfort of Remus’s abode

**Sirius**

Okay

All in favour of getting fucking shitfaced tonight!!!!!

**Remus**

Ffs

**Sirius**

Just joking Moony

All in favour of alcohol this eve?

Meeee

**Lily**

Me

**Marlene**

Me

**Sirius**

Okay

James is still screwing around with his bloody costume

I’ll ask for his vote

Dorky???

**Dorcas**

Fuck

I feel like I have so much power right now

Okay

I pick the opposite of whatever James picks

**Sirius**

You’re so frustrating

You’ve made it half and half

**Dorcas**

‘‘Twas my intention Siri

**Remus**

Not that anybody cares about my input

But it is my house

Shouldn’t that count for something?

**Mary**

Come on S

He’s right

**Sirius**

Ughhhhh

Do you really not want to drink tonight Moons?

**Remus**

I’d really rather everyone be sober tonight Pads

Like Mary said

Someone will end up vomiting

And you’re all going home at some point

It’ll be a chore to get you out if half of you are drunk

**Marlene**

Fair tbh

**Lily**

Well

You better have loads of snacks at least then Rem

**Remus**

I was actually going to ask if someone could go shopping on their way here?

Unless you all wouldn’t mind munching on celery and hummus for the night

**Mary**

Ahhh

That is my absolute favourite snack

I’ll def be satisfied

**Sirius**

There’s always one who loves shit like that

Ffs Mary

**Mary**

Just because you have Lucozade instead of blood running through your veins Sirius

**Remus**

He drinks zero sugar tbf

**Sirius**

I drink zero sugar for your information!

Ahhh thanks Moonbeam

Can always count on you <3

**Remus**

Well if we’re sharing the love

Fancy being the one to do a snack shop?

**Sirius**

:/

I guess I can bring Prongs along

**Remus**

Fab

Thanks Posh x

**Sirius**

No prob Scary x

**Marlene**

So you sorted your personas then

I’m surprised you didn’t revert back the plastics tbh

Rems was well drunk when he changed it

**Lily**

I’m not part of that gc

But I just already know I’m Ginger Spice

**Sirius**

That you are Evans!

Fits doesn’t it?

**Lily**

I hate you

**Sirius**

Love you also ginge x

Soooo

How about a film tonight?

Or a game????

Spin the bottle???

**Dorcas**

God

Imagine the toll

Tbh I’d snog any of you

Platonically <3

**Sirius**

Same

**Pete**

You two lack boundaries

**James**

I would also give any of you a smooch

**Mary**

Join the conversation when we’re talking about kissing each other Pots

Very convenient of you

I am with Pete

**Sirius**

Ahh come on Macdonald

Not like we haven’t already locked lips ;)

**Mary**

And that is a memory I’m trying to repress every single day

**Sirius**

Harsh :(

**Mary**

And I have a boyfriend you idiot!

**Dorcas**

Well I have a girlfriend!

We’re talking about perfectly platonic smooching here M

Totally normal stuff

**Mary**

Hmm

How about we move on from spin the bottle?

**Sirius**

Ugh

Prudes the lot of you!

Keep brainstorming squadron

We’ll regroup later with more suggestions

**Dorcas**

We don’t even have to play spin the bottle

We could all just kiss each other

A massive platonic orgy if you will

**Pete**

What the fuck

**Lily**

Why would you say that

**Mary**

Dorcas

You are so disgusting

**Sirius**

Bahahaha

**Remus**

Yeah that’s not happening in my humble home

Dorcas, you’re uninvited

**Dorcas**

Woah

Feeling a bit attacked here guys

**James**

What’s this about an orgy?

**Remus**

Please don’t ask her to elaborate

**Dorcas**

Ugh

You’re all boring

**Lily**

Swiftly moving on

Regroup later?

**Remus**

Yes

Please

**Mary**

And let’s keep it PG guys

* * *

**uptown girls**

**Dorcas**

Ughhh guys

Problem

Em has asked to do something tonight

**Lils**

Shit

I mean you do already have plans

**Dorcas**

Yeah but

Don’t significant others get priority?

Is that a thing????

**Mary**

That’s a tough one

If it was me and Ben

And Ben was you is this situation D

I don’t think I’d be that fussed

Because I could do something with you guys anyway?

What are Em’s friends doing?

**Dorcas**

Usually they’d do the Prewett’s party like everyone else

Not sure

She’s still asked me to do something though

And I’m still meant to be her girlfriend

How do I deal with this?? :(

**Marls**

Maybe just tell her you have plans?

**Dorcas**

I don’t think she’ll take it well though

Since the roller-skating thing

Where I wouldn’t cancel on you for her

She’s been a bit iffy ngl

**Mary**

Well you can’t cancel on us every time she asks you out and you already have plans D

**Dorcas**

I know

But it happens quite a lot doesn’t it?

I don’t think she hangs around her mates as much as we do

So I think she thinks it’s a bit unusual

How much time we spend together

**Lils**

That’s understandable

Still though

We’ve never all been to Rem’s before

It won’t be the same with one of us missing

**Mary**

Ask her to do something tomorrow maybe?

I do feel a bit bad

But then again

We wouldn’t expect you to cancel on her if you already had plans for tonight?

**Dorcas**

Yeah

Fuck

I really don’t want to miss out on tonight

As horrid as I feel

**Lils**

Well if you’re going to feel guilty about it

Maybe give us a miss tonight?

**Dorcas**

Does it sound horrible to say that I’d rather go to Rem’s tonight than cancel?

Shit

That sounds so bad

**Mary**

Tbh Dorcas

I think this might be a convo you need to have with Em

**Dorcas**

Really?

But we don’t do conversations

We just argue and then do each other

**Lils**

You can’t stick to that tactic forever D

As effective as it may be now?

It’s prob not going to suffice in the long run

**Dorcas**

Ughhh

I hate that you’re right

What do I even say though?

Shall I tell her we need to chat now?

But I don’t have time before R’s

Fuck

How do I break the news about tonight???

**Marls**

You’re just gonna have to go for it

She might not even react badly

**Dorcas**

True

Fuck it

I’m just gonna do it

**Mary**

Good

Give us an update ASAP?

**Dorcas**

Will do

Shall I add a pumpkin emoji

**Lils**

No?

**Dorcas**

I’m doing it

For the Halloween spirit

Might soften the blow

Relieve some of the tension

**Marls**

I think you’re putting to much faith in that emoji D

**Dorcas**

Shush McKinnon

I think it’ll work

Okay

Catch up later gaiters x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Pads**

I am actually being sent into orbit

So obvs Prongs and I have went shopping

We picked up Wormy on the way

**Moons**

First of all

Where are you?

**Pads**

Waitrose?

**Moons**

Ergh

I told you to go to Tesco you muppets!

My mum will collapse if you come into our home with Waitrose bags

**Pads**

Look

Us posh boys naturally gravitate towards Waitrose

It’s a thing

Love a bit of Tesco

But I’m sticking to my roots Moony

I hope you can understand that

**Moons**

Hmm

So

You’re being sent into orbit?

**Pads**

Yes!

So we’re out like

In public

And Prongs didn’t realise we were going shopping

So naturally

He’s already in his bloody Halloween costume

And I’ve forced him out

Being the good mate I am

And Christ

The looks he’s getting

Kids are running scared

Old people are scuttling for the exit

My stomach hurts

This is fucking gold

**Moons**

Pads

What’s his costume?

**Pads**

Uhhh

I guess I’ll just tell you

It won’t compare to seeing him in the flesh anyway

He’s Edward Scissorhands

But bloody hell Moons

This is the Edward Scissorhands costume of ALL Edward Scissorhands costumes

Giving Johnny Depp a run for his money I’d say

**Moons**

Oh my god

Has he got a wig on?

And the scissor hands??

**Pads**

He’s got it all Moony

I bet none of these poshos thought they’d see Edward Scissorhands walking around their local Waitrose today

**Moons**

You say that as if they would any other day

**Pads**

Ha

Tbf it is Halloween

I don’t know why they’re completely shocked

If anything it’s hilarious

Watching Prongs trying to pick up stuff with his scissor hands

It’s quality!

**Moons**

Well I am very looking forward to having Eddie at mine tonight

Please don’t tell me he has actual scissors on his hands though

I feel like that would class as carrying a deadly weapon

**Pads**

They are indeed plastic

No safety hazards here

Anyway

What sweets you fancying?

Wait

Let me guess

Cadbury’s chocolate buttons

**Moons**

You know me too well

**Pads**

You never eat anything else

Except those Lindor ball things

When they’re on offer

I’ll get you a box

**Moons**

No you won’t

I’m paying you back for all this

**Pads**

Oh shut up Moons

I’m planning this eve

I will provide the snacks

**Moons**

No

We’re spending this eve at my house

I will pay

What do I always tell you

If you’re paying over £1.50 for chocolate 

You’re being robbed

**Pads**

You’re so frugal

If you’re paying over £1.50

You’re getting the good stuff!

**Moons**

Put the Lindors back

**Pads**

No x

**Moons**

Pads

**Pads**

Moooons

We’re not having this discussion

Just for the grief this convo has caused me

I’m throwing you in some Reese’s Pieces

**Moons**

I don’t like Reese’s Pieces

**Pads**

You dirty liar

Don’t think I don’t know you Mr Moony

What do you take me for? A fool?

**Moons**

A massive one

I’d be opposed to this in a Tesco

But a Waitrose??

Why am I friends with you?

**Pads**

Because you love me

And I buy you lots of chocolate

**Moons**

Against my will

**Pads**

You’ll be chomping on them later Moons

Just you see

Ah shit

Situation in the tinned food aisle

The scissor hands have knocked off an array of Heinz beans

Waitrose worker doesn’t look happy

Have to skedaddle

See you soon!! X

**Moons**

Sounds disastrous 

See you

You idiots x

* * *

**Private Message**

**Rems**

Hey you

Just checking you’re okay coming tonight?

Not too disappointed about the lack of alcohol are you?

**Marls**

Nahh

I think it’ll be nice

I can’t even remember the last time we were all together

And one of us wasn’t smashed

**Rems**

I think it was that games day James made us have at his in the summer

Though after a brutal game of monopoly

The vodka did come out eventually

It was very much needed

**Marls**

Oh god

I’d totally forgotten about that until now

Thanks for reminding me to never play a board game with Mary Macdonald ever again

I knew that girl was too nice for her own good

I think every bit of pent up anger she’s had since she was born was released during that game

**Rems**

To be fair

Sirius was def cheating

I was a bit pissed off as well ngl

**Marls**

The only thing we did right with that game was make James banker

He just wouldn’t dare cheat

Bless him

**Rems**

So we’ll rule out board games for tonight?

**Marls**

Definitely

**Rems**

The issue is though

If we do a film

We’d all have to squeeze into my room and watch something on my laptop

Or we’d have to squeeze into my living room

Where it is bloody freezing on a night

**Marls**

Surely if there’s 8 of us we can generate some warmth

**Rems**

What

By huddling like penguins?

**Marls**

Exactly like that Rems

If we all just collectively forget about D’s orgy comment

It won’t be an issue

**Rems**

Ergh

Well me and you will be thinking about it anyway

**Marls**

True

Major ergh

I’ll bring some blankets

**Rems**

Nice one Marls

Film then?

**Marls**

Why not

You can break that news to the gc

And let them all fight over what to watch

Lord knows we prob won’t get an input

**Rems**

Well whatever you suggest Marls

I’ll vouch for you

**Marls**

Cheers Rems

Us introverts in a group of raging extroverts have to stay together

**Rems**

We certainly do


End file.
